Is it Wrong?

Question

Tell me do you think it is wrong to sleep next to someone everynight, but be thinking about someone else? me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years. i love him but i am only 20 and i feel like he is holding me back sometimes. most of the time i cant do all the things i want because i am afraid he will get mad. I havent cheated on him but i do have someone that i might be interested in but i would never cheat. sometimes i just want to end it with him but i dont want to leave him. i dont know i am torn. what do you think?

Answer 1

end it. There's no point in being in a relationship if you're miserable.

Answer 2

You are only 20 years old. You are being held back in a way. When my daughter was 17 the only thing she wanted was to have a steady boyfriend. I kept trying to tell her she was too young, to go out and have fun. She stayed with her boyfriend for 5 years (like you) but then she started to feel the same way as you. She actually came to me and said, I was right, that she was too young to be tied down. She ended up breaking up with him because she had other goals to persue and he was holding her back. If she would have stayed with him she would not have experienced the things that she wanted to. You should not have to be afraid of getting him mad. You have one life and it is important to live it the way you want. Sometimes we are afraid to lose what we have but you are smart to know that cheating isn't right. Think about what you want to do and do it. If you have to break up with him that's what has to be done - experience life for yourself. If it was meant to be - it will be. Don't pay attention to Jackal - he is not being very nice to people today.

Answer 3

Never say never! For all the good intentions and high standards we strive to live for, we are only human, and, we will screw up. Putting too many demands upon ourselves will only lead to failure and that's a fact. Staying in restricted and/or abusive relationships does not work. If the spark and interest has all but gone from yours, chances are your seeking it elsewhere. You play with fire long enough, you will get burned. That's just the way it is.

My advice to you would be to come clean about your feelings. Hiding in secrets is a dangerous game and can only serve to build upon resentment, anger, shame and guilt. There is a lot to be said for "The truth shall set you free!"
You have to know what you want in life rather than trying to cope day to day. You can't make clear decisions on jumbled emotions, only a clear head. Sometimes it's best just to let go and move on with your life to find your happiness. Easier said than done I know. But what is the alternative?

Peace!

Answer 4

Say goodbye! Even if it's a trial separation, he's only your boyfriend, and I understand that the years do play on your mind. Believe me, if you lay there thinking in detail about someone else, it's just a matter of time before reality catches up. You sound great, and honest, so just walk away for a while and test the waters as well as your emotions for him. Good Luck

Answer 5

You need to communicate in your relationship and find out whats making you feel this way. If you truely arent happy take a break from this relationship you just may need time to yourself and to be yourself. No relationship is happy when you cant be who you are. You need to make up your mind. You cant end it with him and still have him. And you shouldnt leave one relationship to jump right into another. Cheating also isnt going to solve the problem. So you need to talk to your current man now and see what the real deal is.

Answer 6

Can we say "We need to talk!"
At 20 years old you are still very young and should experience other people.
Say to him: "I need some space to think about our relationship." "I want you to see other people a well." "There may be someone out there that is better suited for you." "But, I don't feel the say way you do."

if all else fails.... "I don't want you to take this wrong, it's really me not you..., I'm not ready." "Maybe we can still be friends." (note... being friends never works... but you must at least say it anyways.)

Make sure all your stuff is moved out before you give the speach, afterwards cry a little... leave and don't look back.

Answer 7

No one knows what to do but you.

A) If you are thinking that it should end, then it probably should. You can love someone, but not necessarily agree with them well enough to be in a relationship.

B) If you are going to stay with him, get counseling

C) If he gets mad because you are doing something, to the point where you are afraid to do things on your own, THAT is a serious problem, it's control issue and can lead to bigger problems, if such is the case, leave now.

Answer 8

You have to do what you feel is right. I think in your heart you already know the answer is to move on. You feel held back and you don't want to do anything because he may get mad. That's not a healthy relationship.

If you end it with him, do so for you, not because there is someone waiting in the wings.

Good luck and be happy.

Answer 9

You know the answer to this question. End it. You're young and you are anxious to see more of the world... experience more things. The difference between 20 and 26 is a lifetime of experiences.

Answer 10

You were only 15 when you guys got together, I think you want to explore, which is natural, you are a young girl who hasn't really experienced life yet, I say end it, then if you guys get back together, then you will know it was meant to be.

Answer 11

No. Furthermore, you need to express how you feel to him. If he gets mad ..oh well thats part of this thing we call life. Get creative with him, be the adult ..show him what you wanna do.. maybe he will feed off your energy. If its too much for him.. that may pose a problem and yet another conversation.