he went out with friends while we were on our 9 month hiatus.....he got very drunk at a club and there were transexual strippers there....hedecided to be cute and take a dollar bill up to hi/her....he says thier lips barely touched and he was mad....i cannot see him doing this if he didnt really want to...he is blaming it on the liquor.....once he told me i could put eyeliner on him wheni was just joking. whats up is he becoming gay on me....he nevertold me a bout the transvestite thing for 4 yrs....insights anyone.??...why is this bothering me. He has a friend name dale that i used to tease that they were lovers and hed just pretty much ignore me when i said that.....im getting kinda grossed out.
2007-07-17 07:00:18 · 19 answers · asked by mercedesofladies36 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
have a girlfriend who made out with another girl bc. she was so drunk but is not gay at all. what i would like to know about your question is how did this come out in conversation? and why would he tell this to you if he didn't WANT you to know? THAT type of story seems like something you wouldn't tell unless you WANTED your wife to start asking questions. Otherwise he could have kept it to himself--he has for 4 years, why tell it at this point?
2007-07-17 07:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Lips 4077 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its possible he is either a curious about cross dressing or he is bisexual. Whatever it is, its not the booze. When people get drunk, they do what they are too inhibited to do when they are sober. Being drunk, you do what you thought about doing when sober and just didn't have the guts to do.
Most strip clubs DO NOT employ transsexuals. If there were transsexual strippers there, he either went to a club that specifically offers that kind of entertainment or it was a theme night at his usual strip club.
Give him a little sympathy and understanding. If he has been having these feelings of bisexuality or curiosity, he must be having a hard time accepting them. Society is cruel to men in his position.
I personally, know of two places here in Michigan that are basically "bath houses". Men pay a fee to be members and go there for casual sexual encounters with other men. Most of them are married and afraid to tell their wives. Why? Because those wives are not the type to understand.
Sexuality is genetic. You can't help it any more than you can help your height or skin color. Can you imagine what he must be feeling? Shame, fear, desire, resentment.....on and on.
Talk to him, tell him its ok to be who he is. Between you, you can decide if it is ok for him to act on his feelings and to what extent.
I know a couple who have been successfully married for almost a decade. He is bi and into crossdressing. She knows and is understanding. He dresses up sometimes and thats all. He does not act on the bisexuality because they are married and she wants fidelity.
Try to find a way to make him comfortable talking to you and find a compromise that makes both of you happy.
2007-07-17 07:14:16 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were married why were you on a "9 month hiatus" That simply does not make any sense to me at all. I don't get the need to take a "vacation" from marriage. Either you WANT to be married or you don't. Sounds to me as if neither one of you WANTS to be married. As for the transvestite, if he didn't want that expierence he wouldn't have had it.
2007-07-17 14:14:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Transvestites are not all gay. They are men (and women) who like to dress as the other sex.
Your husband may be a transvestite.
2007-07-17 07:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ewwwwwe! If he did this just once, maybe you could blame it on the booze, but what's with that eyeliner? That's bi-sexual stuff. Ewwwwe, what if he's done Dale? Do you think he'd be the pitcher or catcher?
2007-07-17 07:29:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I always say, listen to him honey. He is telling you something. I bet you see strangeness when you are making love. Must talk to him when you two are in a very intimate moment, holding him close so he feels secure to open up to you. He may have something really big he needs to express. Prepare yourself to deal with a bi curious man.
2007-07-17 07:16:32 · answer #6 · answered by Tamm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a serious difficulty right here that's unlikely ot circulate away. Your husband's family contributors, extremely his mom, won't be able to enable circulate of her infant. in the marriage rite, it says that a guy will leave his mom for his spouse. Your husband, and his mommy, did not hear that area. you do not say how long you have been married, yet once you have subsidized far flung from his family contributors for 6 months, it relatively is been greater advantageous than long adequate for them to have adjusted. How do you handle holidays? you have pronounced you're in seek of therapy. you will desire to try this andinvolve your husband to boot. He needs to comprehend which you like his help in the adventure that your marriage is going to do nicely, even survive. If he married at an older age(you mentioned he's 36 now) that gave mom an prolonged carry on him which may be greater good to launch. a fabulous therapist would desire to be waiting to help. no count in case you circulate to this occasion or not relies upon on how lots you may count on your husband to help you once you're there. If he can promise to stay by making use of your area & help you out, then you definitely might attempt it. yet once you do not think of he can stick to by in this, it is relatively useful to bypass. yet submit to in techniques that for the duration of your in-rules' minds, your not showing up ability they win. They get to maintain him all to themselves as quickly as returned. If it have been me, i might circulate & grin & submit to it. I in simple terms could not supply them the delight of taking my husband's time far flung from me. do not supply up.in case you & your husband reallylove one yet another, it relatively is a stand nicely worth making!
2016-12-14 11:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes just playing around with the eyeliner thing but the transexual thing, i think u should be more mad at the fact that he went out with u..ewww the transexual thing grosses me out!
2007-07-17 07:32:35 · answer #8 · answered by lucy s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that does seem a little strange. I would question him as much as possible. I'd also be a little scared and would go get STD tested.
2007-07-17 07:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by newport3158 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
he is a crossdresser and has more than likely been hiding it for years..this usually starts in childhood, read on it and u will see..sorry but u will never change this, sorry you have to go thru this ..
2007-07-17 07:18:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋