Why is it that when a marriage couple breaks up the children becomes hers and not theirs?

Answer 1

The children are still "theirs". However traditionally the mother has always been the nurterer of the family which is why she is usually granted custody of the children. Some parents share custody 50/50 because that is how they want it set up. Sometimes the father get's primary custody of the children for whatever reasons. It is up to the court to determine which is the best for the children and not the parents.

Answer 2

That is not the case to those saying that dads want visitation, i know lots of males that suffer from that , they would enjoy their children 24/7 365 and in some cases the kids deserve the father, just because you have a child doesn make you a woman/mother, nor a man or a father..., but to most people expecially "other"women not me,they believe that if they carry the child for the nine months or what not, that entitles them to the child, They dont take into consideration on the most part that in some cases, the father stayed at home and did every thing around the house and all that, it is a tendre year kind thing, it is very biased and unright, almost prejudiced against men.....

Answer 3

Well, that sometimes happens because it's typical for the mother to take on a lot of basic responsibilities for the children during the marriage. Bathing/feeding/cooking/driving them to school, practices/helping with homework, etc.
While this is NOT always the case, it is typical in a lot of homes. It's understood that generally men work longer hours therefore not being able to contribute as much.
I've known families that were flip flopped, though.

Answer 4

Mothers just feel that since they carried the children for nine months and went through labor and they do most of the nurturing and taking care of them, that they are theres, but it's not really true, children belong to there mother and father, she wouldn't of had those kids without your help, and if a couple is splitting up the hubby shouldn't loose hope, men do get custody over kids all the time, it just depends on how much you really want them and work at it.

Answer 5

I guess it's a sort of hangover from an older societal attitude that the mother is a more important influence on children than the father. It's a simplistic attitude, of course, and in the real world it might go either way. One more reason that divorce really should be avoided if children are in the mix

Answer 6

"ongoing and meaningful contact with BOTH parents is in the best interest of the child."

This is the most common legal statuate on the books today in many states.

Moms AND Dads both have a right to raise their children. If you think that mom's always get the kids, then you have been watching too much TV.

Courts today are compelled to award similar, but not necessarily equal time and financial responsibilty to BOTH parents.

Bottom line...unless you are a real real real bad person, you can ask the court to split parenting time with your ex and you will get it.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Good question - the courts are still biased when it comes to this issue, hopefully they'll catch up with the times soon.

I've noticed many women use the children as pawns at divorce time - maybe they feel that since the man makes more money, that's his leverage, and the children are hers. It isn't right, but it is common.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the age of the children. My husband and I split up when my son was practically just born. He said he wanted just as much time with him as me but just handed him over to his mom when ever he got him. A child that young needs the care of its mother and probably through it's early chilhood. His dad rarely sees him, even when he's allowed to. I just think it's nature. The women bear the children. It's just instinct to want them most of the time when they are very young. Do you ever see men in public doing all the "mommy duties"? I dont.

Answer 9

Because awarding custody to one person (usually mom) is usually a better arrangement than joint custody, since stability is so important in a child's life. Of course, the non-custodial parent will be awarded visitation rights.

Answer 10

It doesn't always happen that way.

But, usually the women want to take the kids and the men are fine with visitation. If not, they do a 50/50 custody split.