I notice that I have been a fool talking my feelings to hubby.Help?

Question

I have a hubby whom I really love.And,whom I trusted.
Now I notice that whatever I feel ,like ,dislike etc..nearly everything is told to my MIL !
I feel really sad nowadays.
I trusted him and he has begun to do this.My mom-in-law is very smart.She asks him such questions that he ends up revealing everything about me.And then later she goes on to ask me the same question framed differently and sees my response.

For example if I say "i dont like abc realted stuff",then she would say "ah...abc related stuff is good right,what do u say".Now i know her pranks and hence I say,"hmmm..depends".

Also,When she says xyz and it hurts me, I used to tell to my hubby that I felt really sad abt it(i admit now i am a fool).And my hubby tells her, and then she says she never "meant" it so and cals me 'sensitive' and changes the whole story.and my hubby ends up beleiving her!I have decided not to talk my heart to him anymore...because this strategy of his would make my MIL aware that I am gettin hurt

Answer 1

If these ones closest to you won't guard your heart and honor the information they know about you, find a girlfriend you can trust to download on.
Darn them. So sorry.

Answer 2

Although I suppose I will HAVE to support Obama if he is the nominee, I have the following serious doubts: We all know that the majority of the American 'electorate' vote with their hearts, but the vast majority of Americans have never voted at all, and this was due to ignorance and apathy. While very laudable, Obama seems to have galvanized many of the latter 'apathetic/ignorant' block. And much of the current Obama support comes from crossover Republicans, whereas Hillary has 'grassroots' Dem support. What is as sure as daylight is that the GOP Attack Monster is going to go after Obama in a very ruthless way. How many of these crossover Republicans are going to turn out for Obama? How many of the 'Hope and Change Brigade' are going to turn up in November? (Maybe they will if ALL reality shows are BANNED during the WHOLE month of November) And given that the majority of Dem voters are really excited about a 'Dream Ticket', I find Obama's outright rejection of this idea distasteful. It smacks of personal glory over party unity. Many Hillary supporters feel the same. And one thing Obama must know: For all the 'new voters' and 'disaffected Republicans' and 'independents' he has attracted, he doesn't have a hope in hell of being elected without Hillary supporters backing him. A Hillary/Obama ticket is the smart way to go. Or a Hillary/Someone else ticket if Obama continues to be intransigent.

Answer 3

Just be open and honest with your husband. Tell him what his Mom has been doing -- of course he'll deny it occurred -- and then do the xyz thing again unknowingly "to plant a seed of information" with your hubby, which his Mom will ask the right questions & then try to use it against you. Get a mini tape recorder (micro cassette) which is voice activated so you don't have to press play & record buttons to gather your evidence. Get at least two topics on tape before presenting this proof to your hubby. Either he'll accept it that his Mom is being deceptive to him, or he will confront Mom about it. Tell him not to confront her, just don't share intimate secrets shared between a husband and a wife anymore so she won't be the meddling Mother-in-Law anymore. Best of luck to you! Hope you find peace in all this!!!

Answer 4

Put your foot down now. Neither your husband nor mother-in-law has the right to violate your trust and your deepest feelings in such a way. Your husband has to understand that he cannot put his mother in the middle of your marriage. It has to stop now. She has to be put in her place and made to respect your marriage and you as her son's wife. What's more important to your husband; what his mother thinks or your trust? Ask him that. What's to become of your relationship if you can't confide in your mate? Can you live like that? Try to help him understand. If need be, confront your MIL as well. You're not a fool for wanting to open your heart to your husband, that's why you're married in the first place.

Answer 5

Your husband sounds like a brainless idiot and an immature person who needs to grow up. You need to set him straight regarding the bonds and privacy of your marriage. And maybe you should set your MIL straight too by telling her outright to mind her own business. How old/young are you? How long have you been married? Realize this and make sure your husband grasps this too- you and your hubby are married to each other NOT to your families.

Answer 6

Sometimes people hurt you without realizing it. He should have been a bit more considerate and not gone and broke your confidence. Maybe sit down and explain to him in a rational conversation what it's doing to you, and that whether he sees it or not, this is what she's doing, and politely ask him to stop telling her things, because some things just aren't meant to be spread.

Answer 7

Call them out. Life is too short to be playing stupid mind games. Also, I think women are taught to think about their feelings waaayy too much. We end up overthinking EVERYTHING. I mean, does your husband have to know about *every* feeling you have? Keep your feelings to yourself, unless it's an important topic. Staying out of that kind of conversation will avoid the silly, childish arguments you're describing. Also, all 3 of you needs to accept the positions you're in. She has to accept that you're married to her son. You have to accept that your husband has a mother. And your husband, well, he should keep what's in his marriage between you and him.

Answer 8

Tell your hubby that he shoud not be tellin his mother things you tell him and its a trust issue. Find someone else to confide in if he defends his actions.

Answer 9

It sounds like your husband has not grown up yet since he does not know when to keep his mouth shut. You should educate him and teach him how to behave.

Answer 10

Any way you could tell you husbeand to shut his big freakin mouth? I think that would solve the problem.