i have a hard time talking face to face about issue sthat have emotional attatchments to me - even with my husband. I'm trying to talk about some relationship issues but i get so afraid and nervous i can not speak- i had to write a letter to him about my feelings. I'm a very reflective thinker , i have to sit and sort out my expressions and when i fight or get stressed i emtionally go into a daze and can't concentrate of think clearly. When its a big issue that's emotioanl or stressful i can't even remember the conversation with accurate detail afterwards. What can i do? any one know what's going on with this?
2007-07-17 05:47:00 · 5 answers · asked by girl 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
If you know you're going to have a possibly confrontational conversation, i.e. one with your husband about your relationship, it may be a good idea to make a list of your ideas before the conversation. That way, you'll have your thoughts in order and it will help you stay calm. If you're in a situation where you don't have time to make notes beforehand, just take a few deep breaths to help yourself relax. Have an objective in your mind and keep focusing on that throughout the conversation. You'll be able to get your point across.
2007-07-17 06:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Josh S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's not just YOUR problem! Your husband must send out strong messages that you don't have anything of value to say! ???? How are you with your FRIENDS? Do you have friends who value what you have to say and think about issues? Has expressing yourself ALWAYS been a chore for you? Sounds like fear may be at the root of this. You must feel pretty cut-off from him/people? That isolation is almost worse than physical isolation! I grew up in the Great Depression when children were to be seen, not heard. I felt that I needed to please EVERYONE around me, and so tailored my speech to mesh with the other person's! Terrible isolation. I was an only child, so I didn't have sibs to banter with. I was so locked into myself, I finally started seeing a therapist and slowly, started to come out of it over the years. Went back to school; taught and then got a Guidance and Counseling deg, and worked with very troubled adolescents for 21 yrs. The ability to exchange info, ideas, feelings and have fun is HEAVENLY! Good luck! Don't stop w/just communicating with your husband! He will probably be the toughest to deal with!!! Start with really good friends! But you may not have too many or those, either. Get into fun groups even tho' those may be painful at first!!!
2007-07-17 17:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem similar, I just start crying...
But it does help to keep in mind that your Husband loves you & wants to hear what you have to say.
Second, writing a letter & keeping it with while you speak will help you to focus & remember what you wanted to say.
Also if it might help to practice talking about your problems, try speaking to your husband alone while in front of a mirror. That way you get used to it & can pinpoint when you start to get too emotional to continue.
It also wouldn't hurt to see a therapist.
I went to one for about a year and with practice was able to speak with out bursting into tears...
I hope things go well for you, it's not easy.
2007-07-17 12:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by Kier22_2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be slow to speak, but quick to hear. You'll do fine that way.
2007-07-17 12:50:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could start by structuring your questions as complete sentences.
2007-07-17 12:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋