My husband wants to build a deck on our house but I prefer to have it done professionally?

Question

All my husband tells me lately is that I do not have faith in him, because I will not let him build a deck on the back of our house. It is a big job and I do not want anything going wrong so I would prefer to have it done professionally. Any advice, comments, or suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Answer 1

It may be more than he can handle ,but he may have to find that out first hand. If he has a friend that has experience in this kind of work then that will be a big help. I have helped several friends and family members that wanted to tackle projects that were way to big for them. You may want to call that friend if your husband doesn't and get him to give your husband at least some pointers. If he is determined to do it without help from someone buy him a how to book from Lowes or Home Depot and pray for the best. Good Luck

Answer 2

Hi - Building a deck is quite easy - especially if it is on the first floor and not too high. There are lots of books on how to build one and they are all basically the same. The only skills you need is cutting wood and screwing/naling.

The hardest part will be the point where it attaches to the house or existing structure. This is the only area where I can see something really going wrong. An option would be to hire a professional to put in the foundation and part that attaches to the house and then let your husband do the rest.

I put in our deck and it was pretty easy - submit plans to the Township and get a permit. Go to Lowes for lumber and have them deliver it all. The $$$ we saved by doing it ourself let us use plastic lumber instead of wood so there is no maintenance. Plus our kids and the neighborhood kids had fun helping.

Answer 3

Let us see now - I have a degree in history with a minor in Journalism. I never worked in construction and we needed to replace an old delapidated deck.

My wife has confidence in me, so she does not tell me what I can do and what I can't - and you should not do that to your husband either.

He who has not screwed up has never tried anything.

I built the deck, single handed, all corners square, with stairs, bannister and a nicer railing than a "professional" would give you.

It is not hard and there are a zillion and twelve books on it. There are certain tools that he might need depending on how complex he wants to make it. If there are stairs involved, he needs to find out how to make a riser, if there is a bannister involved, he needs to know how to make that strong enough so that you can put your weight on it.

The only complication that some inexperienced person might encounter might be in different shapes other than rectangular, height above the yard.

Tools can consist of a hammer if he wishes to nail it, or a battery drill/screwdriver if he wants to use screws. Saws can be as simple as a circular saw.

It took me a couple of days, but the deck is there.

Answer 4

It depends on whether he has the carpentry skills or not. My husband built a beautiful deck across the back of our house but he's an engineer and believe me, that deck will never come down. If your husband has no talent in these areas, he should let the professionals do it. Besides I don't think he wants to hear about it for the rest of his life if it doesn't turn out right.

Answer 5

I feel for you! My husband tried so hard to do little do it yourself projects in the past. I found that having a handy man (professional) as a good friend really helped. We would pay him for the work and my husband would help out. We’d make it a weekend with both families to BBQ etc. Thankfully my husband out grew his need to do things around the house, and just lets me call someone to take care of the work, or lets me do the project in peace. It took some really bad outcomes for him to realize that he doesn’t do a good job, and he doesn’t enjoy the project. However, he had to come to that on his own.

The best advice is to tell your husband how much he means to you, and you really want to spend some more time with him. Tell him that he is more important to you than the project, and how about if you take a romantic weekend trip while the project is being done. Add in how much he is going to miss while he is working on the project, and how much longer it is going to take if he does it himself. Remind him that there will be no baseball, football, what ever he is into until the project is done. Then take about what he makes from work, how long it will take him to do the project, and the cost of the materials, and come up with how much it’ll cost him to do the project, and lay it side by side with a professional estimate. I normally add in the cost of counseling on the side, since I’ll not be a happy camper with my home torn up for the extra length of time for the do it yourself work.

Answer 6

is he researching his ideas? there is much information on the net, in the library and from friends who have done it already. We even TIVO shows about our projects....My husband built our deck years ago,put up a privacy fence and is just finishing my new front porch....all were first time projects and he used all of the resources above. I always think that he's bitten off more than he can chew but the end result is great and he is so proud. He says that these projects are stress relievers for him.....i do not have the ability to envision the end results when he tries to explain his ideas to me so I pick out colors and he gives me choices for materials and the rest is a surprise. I had to learn to let go and trust after all it's his house too and he wants it to look nice just as much as I do.

Answer 7

Generally, decks are the kind of project that a do-it-yourselfer with basic carpentry skills can accomplish. You know your husband’s level of expertise and can access what those skills are.
It’s worth adding one other factor: how high in the air will this deck be? If the deck is going to be extremely high, you really want professionals doing the foundation and structural work. In this case, maybe your husband could kick in with the “grunt” work.

Answer 8

Just remember there are no guarantees that the "professional" will really be a professional, you may end up not being happy with his job either. But I can understand perfectly not wanted my husband to get tied up in a big job like that, it can be hard on a marriage.

I guess just remember it's his house too and if wants to do it there isn't much you can do about it except remind him you will expect him to do a good job and complete the job right down to staining it. And decide at the beginning if he will be using you as his gopher or if this is strictly his project.

Answer 9

I would probably let him do it if it was that big of a deal to him. You should at least get a quote from a pro. If it's not that expensive maybe hubby will be grateful that he won't have to do it himself.

I understand your dilemma. Whenever my partner tackles a project, if there is any way to screw up, he seems to find that way. :)

Assembling BBQ - put the door on upside down, had to reassmble it.
Assembling filing cabinet - put something upside down or backwards and had to reassemble it.
Drywall ceiling - instead of 3 rows of 3 pieces of drywall did some weird configuration so there were a ton of joints to plaster.

Those are just a few from the top of my head.... ha ha. At least he is willing to hire a pro if I want to pay for one.

Answer 10

I had the same problem. Finally I compromised when he showed me one of those deck books he get at Lowe's. You can order the plans, and it tells you everything you need, down to the number of screws. Make a deal, you get a nice deck, he gets to build it. I mean it is a win/win. You both have to compromise, but you both get a great result. Be sure to insist he follows the directions to a "T". you know how the don't like to....