My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have three preschool age children. THE problem.... while cleaning out our basement storage room I found two very graphic love letters from a so called FRIEND. Wish I had not read them, but I did. The letters were dated before we were married, but not much before....like a month (We won a radio contest and were married quickly after dating eleven months) One letter described how the other women didn't want to come between us but... blah blah blah...the second letter described how she wasn't sorry that last night happened and HOW it happend ( It pleased me seeing you gratified as you f***** my mouth). To date I have confronted HER by phone AND mailed the letters to her (she says she didn't remember what she wrote so I wanted us to be on the same page). I also confonted my husband and he just wanted to know why I went through his stuff. TRUE! My question is why did he keep the letters? Can I trust him? Should I trust my gut? Help!
2007-07-17 05:23:53 · 9 answers · asked by luvmy2twinkies*1cupcake 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Over the course of your 12 year marriage has your husband cheated any other time? Has he been a good father and lover and partner in every other way? If the answer is yes then I would say you owe him the courtesy of working this out in family counselling. Work to get by this. He probably forgot about the letter and when you found them it was an ooops moment for him. I wouldnt divorce over something like this as hard as it is for you to take.
2007-07-17 05:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't strayed in the 12 years you've been married, what's the problem? It could be that he was just "sowing his oats" before he got married.
If you weren't a virgin before you married, you don't have the right to be angry about this. Even if you were, like I said, if he hasn't cheated on you since the wedding, then let it go. It's been over 12 years!
I don't think you were entirely wrong to look through the letters, but you WAY crossed the line by contacting the other lady. Your anger is with your hubby, not her. I don't think he should have kept the letters either.
If he hasn't done anything DURING your marriage to make you trust him less, I think you should let this go. Don't over-react to something that happened 12 years ago such that it poisons your marriage and hurts your kids.
2007-07-17 05:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Frinn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself these few questions. Has he cheated on you since you have been married? Do you trust him? Has he been open and honest with you about everything since you have been married? What is more important the lady before you were married or your relationship with your spouse now? You can't hold things against someone from the past like that. You are married and have kids no abuse has occurred that you state. It is your own issues that are controlling and putting stress on your marriage. You need to try and relax and let things from the past be just that, look forward to what you have now and into the future as well:)
2007-07-17 05:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A normal, healthy adult should masturbate daily. If you don't, there's probably something wrong. As for your foreskin problems, see a doctor - he can provide a course of stretching exercises and steroid cream that will solve that problem. You do not need an operation (as one respondent claims) to fix something that can be fixed at home. Operations are for life-threatening problems, not for minor inconveniences that can be fixed more easily and cheaper by less invasive and less damaging methods.
2016-05-20 02:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset as well, but it happened 12 years ago and before you were married, maybe you were engaged and I am not justifying his actions however, if your life together has been good and you have no other reason to believe he has steped out on you can you really throw away the marriage?
2007-07-17 05:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men are slobs. In my house are unopened boxes of god knows what that were put in the basement when we bought it in 1971. After reading your message I am going to haul them to the dump as who knows what lurks therein. History is like toothpaste, once its out of the tube it is hard to put back. So your husband is a slob like me, but have his actions during your married life together been honorable. When we are young and dumb we all do stupid things; at least men do.
2007-07-17 05:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happened BEFORE you were married. He kept the letters because the are HIS things. I would question whether HE can trust YOU?
2007-07-17 15:07:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always trust your gut feelings. I have found that they are always right in the long run!
2007-07-17 05:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if this happened before you were married, let it go. Does he talk to her now???? Is she in your lives now? Move on if she is not and love him or you will lose him.
2007-07-17 05:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by peaches8866 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋