i am pregnant and it just hit me the other day that i feel really scared of giving birth and the pain!i know i might sound daft...i have never really thought i would want an epidural as i thought these could be a bit risky..is that true?also i have 2 friends who both gave birth recently and they both split from front to back..sorry if thats a bit graphic ha..but that is really scarin me the most i think...is there anythin that can be done to help prevent this?
2007-07-17 05:17:21 · 67 answers · asked by jess7 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You never know what type of labor you are going to have until you are in it. Many women have babies vaginally without tearing. Having a birthing plan as far as pain relief is fine, but remember that it is ok to change your mind. Good luck
2007-07-17 05:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
In the case of your friends, that is bad on the doctors part, if a woman is unable to get the baby out without splitting from front to back they should do a c-section.
My girlfriend also tore like that with her first and was terrified with her second, she had a different and much better doctor that time and had a small cut.
Some doctors give you an episiotamy (sorry spelling?), they cut you slightly so you wont tear. I had it with both my kids, with my first I went natural YIKES, they do numb you before they cut you though. And with my second I got an epidural HEAVEN and it was a walk in the park compared to my first one, I had some problems that made it a little worse pain wise with my first.
I don't know about the epidural being risky. When they use to do a spinal tap it was risky, but now the epidural is different and I do not know of anyone who had problems from it.
And by the end of your pregnancy you are usually ready to face labor because you are tired of being pregnant LOL The epidural is great, but just in case you cant get one take your birthing classes I really had no intention of a natural birth and ended up having one anyway with my first, I really did use the breathing techniques they taught me. And with my second I kept teasing my husband I was leaving him for the Anesthesiologist LOL
All your fears are natural, I think every pregnant woman has them and they will come and go during your 9 months, but in the end it is amazing how you can find the strength to make it through, and the outcome is well worth it.
Congrats on your baby!
2007-07-17 05:36:00 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be scared of giving birth, just 'go' with it. I had an epidural with my first born, and it eased the pain but prolonged the labour as i didn't know when to push as you don't feel the contractions. My second birth was different. I thought i would try and avoid an epidural, which i did. Gas and air was brilliant. I split both times but wasn't aware that i had because so much is going on. Concentrate on breathing and of the bundle of joy on the way. Before you know it it will be all over. The worst pain i have ever endured was period pain and not giving birth. If the pain was so bad then don't you think women would have one child and no more.Good luck and enjoy the experience, and don't worry, the midwives do a great job and you will be in good hands.
2007-07-17 05:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by ezmarelda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giving birth is a scary thing, but although it is really painful it's a kind of rewarding pain because you know that at the end of it all you will have a beautiful baby. I had a natural birth at home and opted not to have any pain relief, and the worst part was being stitched up afterwards. That is uncomfortable. I don't think you can prevent splitting and if it's going to happen then it will. If you want pain relief then ask for it. I don't know if epidurals are risky, but I guess any medical procedure comes with risks. I do have two friends that had epidurals and they said that they wish they hadn't because they couldn't feel anything, and it took away the physical feeling of giving birth. You will be fine and when it happens your female strength will kick in and before you know it you will be cradling that lovely baby in your arms, and despite everything I would do it all over again.
2007-07-17 05:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Boy! I see lots of do this and do thats on here. I am a labor assistant and have birthed with MANY mothers. Let me help you as best I can via the web.
First: Tearing, if you're going to is MUCH better than an episiotomy! By FAR you should prefer that to being cut. Cutting goes into muscle and is harder for the body to heal than a natural tear. When you are about 6 weeks out from delivery, start doing what are called perineal stretches. THEY WORK!!!! Baby shampoo or olive oil put on the perineum and the gently massage to open the tender tissue around the vaginal opening will help during delivery. If you faithfully do this, you will have minimal to no tearing.
Second: Ask yourself this, "Would I willingly put drugs into my baby?" That's what an epidural does. Now, I'm going to be extremely contriversal here by saying that natural birth is the only method you should truly consider. You're going to have a lot of parents tell you I'm up in the night. That's OK I'm used to coming under fire. Look online and find information about epidurals. Be educated. If you're educated you won't be so afraid.
Third: Find yourself a labor assistant in your area. A doula or some one along those lines who's going to have your best interest at heart. Talk to SEVERAL of them until you find the one you're comfortable with. Utilize their knowledge and use them. You will have the BEST birthing experience ever with an assistant.
Fourth: Trust YOURSELF! Your body is made for what it's doing. Have faith in your ability as a woman to make a healthy, happy baby.
And lastly, if you have any questions, email me. I am more than happy to send information along. I know you can do this. I've seen mothers scared to death that have turned around and had the most beautiful births. They felt amazing afterward. You can too!
2007-07-17 05:44:08 · answer #5 · answered by themomof7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
women have been giving birth since the beginning of the age of time! The first thing to keep in mind is that everything you will be experiencing, and what your body goes through IS NATURAL. Don't worry about getting an epidural (which are TOTALLY safe) until you get to that point. I felt the same way you do. Out of 6 children, I gave birth naturally 3 times, and had an epidural with the other 3. Nos. 1,2,and 4 were natural, 3,5, and 6 epidural. And I didn't tear with any of them. So relax! And if you still have concerns, I'll be glad to chat with ya!
2007-07-17 05:29:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just had my first child 2 weeks ago and I was scared to death, just as you are. I have to honestly say, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I went 11 hours with contractions and also had the epidural about 2 hours before she was born. The main thing with the epidural is to remember to relax, listen to what the anethesiologist is telling you to do and try not to move. My husband stood in front of me while they put it in and I was able to brace myself alot better. I also had a 2nd degree episiotomy and did not feel it with the epidural. They also gave me meds afterward so that the soreness wouldn't be as bad when the epidural was cut off. The first couple of days were uncomfortable, but very bareable. Some people say to do keagal exercises and to massage the area before birth so that it can widen, but I didn't do either. Trust me, you will want that epidural! Good luck!
2007-07-17 06:11:55 · answer #7 · answered by Jen C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st- Your friends that split from back to front were going to fast. You have to slow it down and give your muscles time to work the way that they are meant to. Its just like stretching for for sports. If you work out with out stretching, your gonna hurt something!
2nd- I chose not to have an epidural. I have a friend who did. I think I had the better birthing experience even though we are the same size and my baby was 3 pounds larger. A good midwife is really the key. If you want to try to go natural, go to a birthing center. You don't have that instant option of a epidural, but you are close enough to a hospital where you can be transported if its a must.
3rd- Women were meant for this. Your body can handle it. Your mind is what is going to slow you down. Don't be afraid. "Pain with a Purpose" Don't forget, either way, your gonna have a wonderful, new person soon!!
2007-07-17 05:32:55 · answer #8 · answered by sugarcookie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At some point it hits every pregnant woman "OMG! Baby has to come out and it hurts!"
Epidurals are not that risky these days as far as permanent damage, but there is always a risk of it not working completely. I have had one good and one bad experience with epidurals with both of my children.
When you attend childbirth class, they will go over the different pain options. Epidurals may be the preferred way, but you can also get a narcotic in your IV. Giving birth no longer has to be an excruciating experience, and there are plenty of options.
One bit of advice: if you at any point need pitocin, opt for pain medication, because it hits the receptors 14 times stronger than your natural oxytocin, and therefore will hurt more.
Depending on your personal tolerance for pain, you might feel giving birth naturally isn't as bad as you thought, or you might think it's the worse thing ever. At just about any point you can ask for pain relief and it will be given to you.
Also consider talking to your doctor about it at the next appointment. S/he might have a preferred method and will be willing to discuss the options with you. They see this kind of thing all the time.
Best wishes to you & your baby for a smooth and happy entrance into the world!
2007-07-17 05:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by mom2babycolin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Feeling a bit scared is natural if it's your first baby. Make sure you take up available midwife support and ask questions, however daft they seem, as this will put your mind at rest and help you to feel prepared for the day.
With regard to preparation, massage your perineum a few weeks before giving birth - your midwife will be able to advise how/suitable oils etc. This prepares the area as best as possible for birth. Definitely get cracking with the pelvic floor exercises as time spent developing this muscle is time well-spent!
Nobody can tell how your labour will progress, just make sure you feel happy with arrangements and try to get suitable support for the time you're in labour. I know there are some who say do it natural, and there are others who swear by drugs. It's a matter of choice, and don't feel you have to stick to your plan once you're in labour! Trying to keep mobile as long as possible, and someone who's prepared to massage your lower back very hard may be enough; gas and air used properly can definitely help; there are alternative drugs that you can take but, again, your midwife will advise you of options.
Lastly, don't be frightened as it does end. You should keep away from listening to other people's birthing horror stories as this won't do anything other than make you anxious (or want to do horrid things to smug people who sail through with no hitches, smiling for the camera held by daddy!)
2007-07-17 05:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every birth is different chicks and its totally natural to b scared its a huge event in a womans life. I was eighteen n never really thought ab epidural or anyt like it. I did have it n it was great worked wonders within 10 mins!! I had no stretch marks n no stitches at ALL so its not tru that every woman splits in fact i think thats actually quite rare hun. Don't think of the worst scenario jus think that its the time ur goin to meet the little person thats been inside u for all these months chicks, good luck x x x x
2007-07-17 05:33:23 · answer #11 · answered by Dolly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋