he has been violent 2 times before when he drinks. i told him he needs to choose his family or his partying with his friends
2007-07-17 05:05:37 · 31 answers · asked by Stephanie C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would make him new rules, when he drinks he has to go somewhere else. If he doesn't accept the new rules, then he has to leave. Drinking is something that is greater than love in many men, and he has to make a choice once it turns violent.
2007-07-17 05:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ignore the immature answer saying you should start drinking with your husband. My father was an alcoholic, and my brothers and I STILL harbor A LOT of anger towards him for ruining our childhood and my mom's happiness! It's NOT ok for your children to be subjected to this kind of behavior! IT WILL damage them, and could even attribute to them becoming alcoholics, as both my brothers have. This is NOT about being uptight! When you decide to get married and have a family, it's time to grow up! Party time is over! You have to be a role model now and help your kids choose the right paths in life. He's NOT helping them or you hunny! Get out and show him you mean business! Next time he gets violent call the police! Let it go on record that he's doing this! This way, if you ever get a divorce, there's proof that he acts this way! I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I hope you'll email me or find a relative or close friend to confide in. :o(
2007-07-17 12:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's getting violent when he drinks, you need to protect yourself and your family. I've known guys that could drink beer and be just fine, but the minute they started drinking whiskey or hard liquor, they turned into a totally different person.
If his drinking is causing major problems in your family, you both need to take a hard look at your future. Is he really drinking in excess? Or do you just not like him spending time with his friends, drinking or not? You need to honestly evaluate all the facts and make a decision then.
2007-07-17 12:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by classic1957gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to this.
He's been violent. You've already laid the groundwork and placed the ultimatum on the table of choosing between his family and partying. Has he shown you what his choice is? Has he stopped the partying?
I've been there, hon, and it's not a good place to be. Until he decides for himself that he needs the help, he won't get it. Sometimes hitting rock bottom isn't enough to convince someone they need to stop drinking.
You need to get out of there now. This won't get any better. Stop enabling him by passively sitting by and follow through on your ultimatum.
Good luck!
2007-07-17 12:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to an Alanon meeting as soon as possible. Alanon will help you with how you've been effected by someone living with alcoholism. Whether you should leave him or not is a decision you need to make on your own, but you do need to make sure you and your family is protected whether you ask him to leave until he can get help for his drinking, or until you feel safer with him again.
2007-07-17 12:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the drink is not the problem... u should drink with him. he has another problem which is why he drinks find out what that is.
the violent part is unacceptable. if he touches u or the kids after he is sober talk to him give him one more chance. tell him there will be no second time because u will leave and that u must do.
2007-07-17 12:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy male 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If his drinking has got violent, then what i suggest you do is have an intervention....or give an ultimatum! Tell him it's either me or the booze....and if he chooses the booze...then yeah you should leave..because he's probably already an alcoholic!
2007-07-17 12:11:16 · answer #7 · answered by kitten05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get yourself out of that situation if he is hitting on you. No one deserves that kind of treatment. He needs to choose like you asked him to do. I just hope he chooses the correct answer- his family and aa(if that is what he needs to stop drinking). Good luck!
2007-07-17 12:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by Tennessee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should stay with him and get him help to stop drinking and they usually tend to choose the alchol over family but if you can convince him to get help! it would be a better relationship and if he doesnt wont the help then you will have to make that decision to leave before he hurts you real bad good luck with youre decision and stick with it
2007-07-17 12:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him to go to counseling first. Either that or get his family together and try talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about his drinking and that you shouldn't have to take his abuse. Ask him if he thinks your relationship and marriage are worth fighting for, and if so, he needs to fight his addiction. It's a hard road you're on, but I hope you guys can work it out together. But if he hurts you, then you need to do what's best for yourself and get out of there. Good luck!
2007-07-17 12:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by Agent D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋