Me and my fiance have been together for 4 yrs and have 4 boys together including a 8mth old. She has met a lesbian friend at work and hanging out with her after work. I felt that there was something going on. So she told me that she and her lesbian friend had kissed passionately on 2 occasions and she like it. We are supposed to get married in oct. She is confused on what she should do. She says that she loves me but has had thoughts eailier in life. She also says that she has bonded with her on a different wave length but she says she is not her type. I am supporting her on all levels. But i love her dearly and dont want to lose what we have. She needs explanation of definitions and her lesbian friend is not giving it to her. She still talks to her secretly and wont talk to her while i am around because she feels that she is cheating on me. I feel that she has and how do I overcome that and how do i prepare if she is and what can i expect? any Suggestions?
2007-07-17 04:45:49 · 14 answers · asked by James 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
She is not talking to any of her family and her straight friends are not wanting to get involved. I am giving her space and letting her decide what she wants to do. But... what do you guys think that a reasonable time frame should be? Should i let her go to bars and such and see if this is what she really wants? I can't forever and will not wait. I am an excellent man and a extrodinary father and not going to wait forever!
2007-07-17 05:11:24 · update #1
I recently found out that now on an aditional outing with her lesbian friend. Her friend has ben paying for everything! Thats not a good sign.
2007-07-17 09:06:40 · update #2
It doesn't seem you can trust her now, so I don't see how you'll be able to if you get married. Losing her obviously will be painful, but there's really no guarantee you won't lose her later if you get married to her. Personally, I'd rather suffer now but get on with my life.
2007-07-17 04:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happened to me dude. After 10 years of marriage and two kids, she switched teams.
Sorry to say that it's going to be rough for you. Postpone the marriage until she figures out her choice. You can't compete with another woman. You don't have the equipment she's looking for.
Let me guess, she's just turned 30 or is in her very early 30's? She thinks life is passing her by? She wants to add some thrill and excitement in her life? Tired of the family life?
I've heard that all before.
2007-07-17 05:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's some crazy sh*t but not uncommon anymore. Have you tried coming out and just asking her about it? If it was me, I would pretend (not that you would really need to pretend) like it is some big fantasy of yours to have a threesome with your wife and another woman, share that fantasy with her and see what her reaction is. Or you can just smell her breath after a "night out with the girls". lol. Seriously, it is disturbing but more and more women (and men) today are curious and are trying things today that 30 years ago the most perverse person would only dream about.
2016-05-20 02:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like her co-worker is trying to steal her from you. Giving her space would be a bad idea. Instead, be there for her. Talk to her and help her through this journey of self discovery. If she's bisexual and still loves her relationship with you, then all hope is not lost. Be there for her during this tough time like a partner should and hopefully the relationship will weather this storm.
2007-07-17 18:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman on woman relationship is ten times more emotional than a man on woman relatyionship. Take her out to eat wine and dine her. Even get down below and do your buisness right. Show her that the connection the 2 of you share is worth holding on to. In lehmans terms... Love her like never before.
2007-07-17 04:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by Angelet B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your courage is commendable buddy!!! Do you know the best answer(or at least the truest one on this community) you can get is don't expect anything from her. If you really love her you should be happy for her when she feels happy and if she feels happy being lesbian then you will have to forget her. (Sigh) And about the feeling cheated thing, you know just let it go and accept it as destiny, thats what we human beings are best at doing.... I hope you will figure out the rest..
2007-07-17 05:06:27 · answer #6 · answered by Rohit Makhijani 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is confused, and is trying to figure out her feelings for another berson, be it male or female, that october wedding needs to either be called off, or pushed back. You both need to be %100 sure and committed before you take that step. It sounds as if she isn't anymore, or maybe she never was...
2007-07-17 04:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by Katrina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever stop to think maybe she is bisexual? it could very well be the case, talk it over with her, maybe you could work with an open relationship, and yes that does work. People say you can only love one person in your life cause that's whats been fed to them there whole lives. think about this do you only love ONE of your kids or all of them? so who is to say we can't love more than one person :ie partner, wife lover etc?
2007-07-17 05:35:47 · answer #8 · answered by Moonmist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be supportive, but do not let her take advantage. If she is unsure of her sexuality, you should not be getting married. Maybe you need some time apart so she can figure herself out.
2007-07-17 04:50:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The metaphoric ball is in her court now, you can do nothing but wait for her to decide and tell her that you can't wait forever.
2007-07-17 05:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋