Is my husband cheating?

Question

I have noticed a change in my husband lately. He's always tired at night and doesn't have any interest in sex anymore, except sometimes when we have been drinking on the weekend. He's a contractor and always going to people's homes to give estimates so it's hard to keep track of his whereabouts. It's the same with the cell phone. He gets all kinds of calls all day from customers. He doesn't go out at night without me, but he does stop into the pub for a couple of beers on the way home from work sometimes. He is good looking and has a sexy irish accent so I assume he wouldn't have any trouble finding a willing lady. I just have a bad feeling here lately. He has also expressed interest in having a threesome, but that is out of the question for me. I love my husband and don't want anyone else. We have been married now 6 years and have 3 children together. How can I find out if he is cheating or put my mind at ease? Thanks

Answer 1

I would say yes he is. The only thing I can think to tell you is get a copy of his cell bill and look if a number repeats and how long the calls are. You can also try looking over your bank statement to see if there is anything going on.

Answer 2

Hi Kimberly....It's hard to find out if your husband is cheating or not without hard evidence to go by. Just because he's tired after work or doesn't have a sex drive doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating. Maybe he feels as if his life is in a rut. Sometimes after a couple has been married for a certain number of years and do the same routine everyday one gets in a rut so do speak. A type of depression doing the same thing over and over again. this can be rectified. Change your lifestyle or routine. This might help the situation. Find new things to do as to breaking the chain of everyday events that you are a custom in doing. Plan a romantic meal for the two of you, find a babysitter for the weekend and go to an elusive motel and have fun. Maybe your relationship needs some fun and relaxation. I wouldn't go to the extreme and have a threesome thats not a very moral thing to do but it's telling me that your husband is in a rut so do speak. He needs a change of environment or a new routine in his life. I would say wait untill you see hard evidence before you accuse him of cheating. Don't assume anything, that is what breaks up a lot of good marriages. If he is cheating, then he'll make the mistake of leaving evidence behind to where you will find it. Sometimes things happen for a reason, not always a good reason, but for a reason. I don't know your husband personally but at this present time and what you had stated, I really don't believe he's cheating as yet. Try and have some faith in your husband and don't assume. Take care and I wish you luck in your situation.

Answer 3

Ask him, are you cheating? His answer, Of course not Honey, why would I? Even if he is cheating on you, he is probably not stupid enough to tell you.
What you could do is since you know he goes to the pub, go there and see if he is there. If you have to, go inside and sit along the wall and watch him. If he is meeting someone there, you will know. If he says he went to he pub, and you know he never went there, then he is lying. Then, if you find out he is lying about the pub, then you should follow him, or have a friend follow him to one of his places of work.
You can also check out his cell bill, see if there is a number he keeps calling, or that keeps calling him, and then look up the phone number and see who it is. You can also check out credit card statements and see where he is shopping. If there is soemthing there for a fancy restaurant, and you and he didn't go there, then something is up. If there is a hotel, that is a big sign.
Unfortunatly, you have doubt, and you lost some trust in him, and even if you don't find anything, it doesn't mean you won't stop looking until you do. Every woman he talks to, you are going to wonder if he is sleeping with her. If you let this get out of hand, you will see things that aren't there. Meaning, he will say hi to a woman on the phone, and you will automatically think he is sleeping with her.

The threesome idea he had is something he is probably thinking to put the spice back into your sex lives. If its not your thing, then ok, but that might be his way of telling you he is bored with how your sex life is going right now. So, you need to try to rekindle it again. I don't know what you normally do, but you might want to try something he was interested in, that you didn't want to do before, and surprise him with it. For example, if you don't do oral on him, surprise him and try it. Also, you said he is tired at night, well, there are 24 hours in a day, you don't have to wait until night to have sex, try it in the morning, or at lunch time. When the kids are gone, try it in the livingroom, or even outside. Don't limit yourself to the bedroom either. Spice it up.

Answer 4

I do not know that I can really give you a good answer, there are a lot of times I feel like my husband is cheating also, he is very flirtacious. The problem I have a lot of the time is I was cheated on in the past by a previous boyfriend and it still bothers me in my own marriage. That fact does not help me at all decide though if my husband is cheating or not because I am also basing it on the past. I have asked my husband before if he is cheating and he always says no. So we ask how do we believe the answer our husband's give us. Well, from my experience people have always told me to trust him but you just never know. Asking your husband would be a good start and if he does not give you an answer you are happy with proceed from there. I hope I have helped. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Is he working long hours? If so he could really be tired. My husband is a contractor too, and if he works a lot, then he's tired and just want to go to sleep. The difference is, my husband doesn't go to the bar after work. He's very eager to come home to me and the kids.
As for him asking about a threesome, I would tell him no too. Instead try spicing up your relationship as maybe it's in a rut and he's trying to figure some way to make it exciting again.

Answer 6

i doubt he is cheating....
he is just bored.... 6 years with the same woman the same thing well that would make me not want it so much, your sexual realtionship is stale.... the threesome he mentioned was a way to spice it up...which is what he wants. Do you know the majority of cheaters, men and woman both, is just because they are bored. A lot of cheaters love there spouses very much and don't want to leave them. But god da$# they need something new!!! On the weekends when you to have drinking and he wants to have sex...well if you went to college then that's easy to explain. I am sure that your husband loves you very much and he isn't cheating, but he is bored with your sexual relationship...if a threesome is out then look into other alternatives(porn,toys,lubs and creams,) and if that is out of the question then be prepared to eventually get hurt.... try to get away for a weekend and do things differently with sexual realtionship.

Answer 7

You could ask him, or contact Cheaters to follow him. I understand your concern and hope that him cheating is not the case, especially for the children's sake. The way he is acting would cause suspicion. Ask first and let him know how you feel. Chances are that you might be afraid of knowing the truth, but if you don't ask, you will always be guessing. Women have a sixth sense gut feeling that is usually, positive. Best Wishes!!

Answer 8

I personally feel you shouldn't have to lower your self esteem on behalf on how things have been lately...There's always going to be changes in one's home, relationship, life or within themselves....It doesn't mean that your husband is cheating...You shouldn't have ro follow him as if theres no trust in your marriage...If that's the case then why bother being with him?? You should take some time out and let him know how you truly feel...Maybe he doesn't realize how he is making you feel or how he might be making things seem...You should have trust and belief in one another...It okay and normal to feel the way you do but, don't let it control how you think especally without knowing the truth....
Be well***

Answer 9

He's cheating. for bringing up the act of a threesome and not having sex with you it's on his brain. But here is what you should do contact that show cheaters to follow him and then you can call him out on it. People that appear on that show always seem to feel guilty when they get caught on television.

Answer 10

ask him if things between the two of you seems different latley..he may ask what do you mean....you may say your distance, tired, no interest in being intimate... try you initatiing even more see what his response his...remember to include you both about the relationship feeling different...if he becomes defensive avoids wanting to talk about...your looking for a change your unhappiness should be of a concern enough to change thingsand if hes unwilling to work at changing or say he will but falls back into the same routine something may be wrong...