I am planning to marry this man as soon as he gets his divorce. I have been involved with him for over a year. We have to wait about 10 more months before he can get a no fault divorce. We don't want to go through a fight in court with depositions and stuff so we are waiting until we can do it by just filing some papers, no-fault.
I am filing my own divorce papers next month for the same reason. I wanted to wait until the two years were up so that it can just be done with paperwork.
His wife still won't acknowledge me. I like her kids (3 and 6)and they know and like me. His parents and I spend time together. My daughter (8) and his kids get along.
Why can't she just accept this? Her husband and I fell in love. He is with me now.
I hate thinking that this will be one of those "who get to go to the wedding" situations. How long will it take her to just accept this?
2007-07-17 02:19:21 · 39 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She never will. Get used to it.
2007-07-17 02:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If things were bad in the marriage before you came along she may learn to accept it once she moves on. However, if it was a situation where she was the last to know and thought that her marriage was good then she will probably never get over it. And either way she may never have a good thing to say about you, the best you can hope for is that she is civil and polite to you in public and in front of the kids. It's best to work on building a good relationship with the kids and stop worrying about what your soon to be ex-wife in law thinks about you.
2007-07-17 03:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by Neka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u took her husband and got engaged before he was divorced? Whats ur problem?! I wouldn't accept it either...he's been having an affair with u and now her world has been turned up-side-down. Ur a Jezebel and not worth the money or time this man throws at u! I hope she drags it out and takes her time just to spite u. What makes u think he's not going to cheat on u?! After all, he's doing it to HIS WIFE. U should have got a divorce before u got involved also, but ur selfishness blinded ur judgment. Which is why u don't see the issues at hand. Very pathetic.......
2007-07-17 02:28:08 · answer #3 · answered by mrsprincess07 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably wont and if she does...it will be a long long time. The first other woman has proven to be the hardest for me. If this was an affair, that makes things even more hurtful. She feels so heartbroken, destitute, a failure of sorts. I know she is going "what if" right now. I feel for her. If it wasnt an affair, she still has those feelings, but to a lesser degree and now she just cant bear to see him 'happy'. Divorce is messy, final and even when its over, its never really over. Especially since there are kids involved. Put yourself in her shoes. Dont patronize her, and dont think her annoying because she is a human who has feelings. If your love is strong it will endure her foolishness, cuz it seems the jerk she is getting rid of is your problem now. What goes around, comes around. You dont believe that? Just ask my ex!
2007-07-17 02:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by aes_bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll probably never be able to accept the fact that her husband has decided to marry someone else. Without knowing the cause of their break-up, it is hard to ascertain why she's so against this union. I personally think that you should wait a little longer before you marry this man. What's another year or two if you both really love each other?
2007-07-17 02:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by snoringcouchprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said it yourself when you said "her husband and I fell in love." He was hers and your the other woman you will never be accepted in her life. Why would you even expect to be? Plus its only been a year? She is going through a major heartbreak and I give her credit to get through it with his children and all. How would YOU feel if it were you standing in her shoes? I know how I would. Suggestion: find your own man and not somebody elses husband then you won't have to deal with the wife. Good luck because she will always have a special place in his heart. She is the mother of his children and you will never ever come close to that. Even if you have your own those kids will be theirs together. When the lust is over let us know what happens.
2007-07-17 02:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by Maria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello?!?!?! Earth to Tiaburkeangry!!!!! You are dating her husband and spending time with her kids while they are still married!!!! That's called an affair. Of course she's mad. He is dating you and just living with her until there is less paperwork. Think about how confusing that is for his kids, (ummm, and yours). Trust me, even when you get divorced, he won't. He'll still drag it out. That always happens. One of the adulterers gets a divorce and the other keeps dragging it out. Next, he'll say "let's wait til the kids are grown, so it's easier on them". Get used to being a single mom (if you love your kids enough to retain custody. you're dragging them through this, so I'm not sure if you do). That guy won't marry you. I hope his wife slashes your tires and makes your life miserable. I hope your soon-to-be ex does the same.
2007-07-17 02:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would it become a who gets to go the wedding situation?
She may never accept this. My friends mom and dad divorced over 30 years ago and she still hasn't accepted it or moved on with her life. She doesn't date and she still complains about him.
You got involved with a married man, you can't cry about how unsporting his wife is now. What did you expect would happen? She would be like "Oh I gave birth to two of your children and you fell in love with someone else and are leaving me now, OK. Be Happy living with her, don't worry about me." Come on, be realistic, you had an affair with her husband and he left her for you. Sure you're OK with it, but you can't expect her to be.
2007-07-17 02:34:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why this need for acceptance.If you are looking for some kind of absolution you've come to the wrong place.What example are you setting for the kids anyway.You are both married.In a few states you guys can get in lots of trouble living in sin.
while in some countries you could have your heads chopped off.Saudi Arabia comes to mind.Hmmm maybe they don't have it all wrong.For two grown ups you are acting like a couple of misguided teenagers.Common sense and decency dectates that you lay low till the ink is dry on the divorce.Why can't you wait till the marriage is
dead before you start picking at the woman's flesh.the impudence of it.
2007-07-17 03:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to help a woman get over the man you took from her???? He hurt her and a woman scorned and all of that. You have no control over how she feels. And you left your husband for this man I am sure you husband was upset also. Maybe it didn't take your hubby as long to move on but, it might take his wife a long time. Nothing you can do sweetie. Good luck hope you all don't find new mates and upset more families later on in life.
2007-07-17 02:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she never will. You're the mistress, right? And wait until those kids grow up and start asking questions. They'll resent you too. As far as they will be concerned, you are the reason their parents aren't together (true or not)
My first wife did the same thing and doesn't understand why I am bitter. Everyone who knows the situation laughs at her........... she thinks everyone else accepts her and thinks she did the correct thing. I have figured it all out.......... In your situation, you must keep a positive attitude about what you did and he has to reassure you that everything you did was correct. That way you don't self destruct!
What you two did was wrong and selfish and you have to deal with all of this for a very long time. Please keep in mind.......... the two of you begged for it to be this way. She didn't ask for it. It was forced upon her. Good luck on your bumpy road. Please don't ask people to feel sorry for you!
2007-07-17 02:24:57 · answer #11 · answered by i know it all! 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋