Just wondering if i really have a right to be upset at how little i'm getting sex from the wife. maybe it's not too bad. Anyways, i'll post how much i get it when i give the best answer. Be honest, say either how much you get it and/or how much you think is adequate.
2007-07-17 02:02:03 · 22 answers · asked by Agnostic Front 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sex is one of the main reasons couples get divorced, so in fact it is a GREAT question.
Bottom line, there is not a set value. I like to say it this way: How much sex were you having before you got married?
If you were not having sex, then sorry, that is one of the risks you take. If you were doing it like monkeys, and now get it once a month then you have a right to be upset.
Most times one partner will want it more than the other, and at times it can switch. Ideally there is a give and take with it. That is, that if one partner needs more then the other should find a way to give in, and conversely, the partner that wants it more needs to learn to woo their partner more, and give in to not having it as much.
So in there is the real question: Is there a REASON your partner is not having as much sex as you want? Some women, and men for that matter, just don't like it as much. However, there CAN be compromise.
As the needy partner, however, it is your job to find a solution, woo her as much as possible, and just show her how much you care about her, not just the sex.
If nothing else, I suggest you get into marriage counseling ASAP. You really need to talk about why she has no desire. Is it physical? Mental? Is she not attracted to you? Someone else?
You need to find out why.
BTW, my gf and I do it almost everyday. We are both divorced, and let's just say, know what you are talking about.
Good luck!
2007-07-17 02:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by Scott D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I have the flip side here. My husband and I are in our early/mid thirties we have 3 kids under 7, we have a large farm (700 acres) in which we have 15 acres of garden. He works full time as a nurse, I work part time as an x-ray tech. We spend days off and evenings working on the farm and as most of us know the meals and the laundry don't take care of themselves. Lets just say we are VERY busy. Because of this we are VERY tired. It is unfortunate that we get together about once every 2 to 3 weeks. I, yes me, would like much more than that but it is a fight because he has no energy to participate. I have tried everything to spice it up so he will be more interested even if he is a little too tired.
I think 2 to 3 times a week would be more than enough, heck, I would like it once a week at this point. I can remember when we would go several times a day but that was before the kids, the farm, bills, and more bills.
You don't hear from very many women who want it more but there are a few of us.
2007-07-17 03:45:16 · answer #2 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok very simple... Enough = to what is enough for you. For some twice a day is enough for some twice a week is enough. Obviously you wife is not fulfilling your higher desire for it so it is possible you have not found it elsewhere.. or have you? and you are now getting to this question to us? Anyway, for me once a day or somtimes 2 times a night is about right. I suggest that you be kinder to your wife. Try to rmembe the last time she was generous with you,, think really hard,, what did you do before she was so kind to you? OK you remember now? Ok now just repeat it as many times as you want it or just change it a little so she does not ge bored and yet you accomplish your objective, she is happy and of course you are happy. Plan this one well and carry out your plan well and then wait for the results. One more thing,, is it possible that your wife may be getting fulfilled else where? There are all kinds of probabilities. Of course you can have a nice discussion with her and let her know you need more. She may tell you that you need to do more for her or you may have to learn to do it so she enjoys it more and then well problem solved,, she is happy and you are very happy?
2007-07-17 02:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by jorge e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am married and am sexually satisfied.
I think there is no measure when it comes to sex but one can always know when they need a little bit more than what they are getting.
Unlike relationships other than marriage, there are always lapses in sexual desire in one of the partners in marriage, mostly the wife because of the frequent changes in their biological system, sickness or preoccupation with other family demands. In other circumstances it is we, the men who make them lose interest because of our frequent shortcomings during the act. That is when we do not satisfy them.
Maybe in your case there is need for you to be a little bit more romantic, appreciative and creative in your seduction. I always tell my wife, " thank you for being so sweet" every time we find joy in each other. At other times when my act is not satisfactory, I always make a point of apologising and promising to make it up next time.
Satisfactory sex is very good, and a necessity in sustaining a happy marriage relationship, and as such, I therefore urge you to take stock of yourself in line with the above, and in need discuss matters with your. Once that is done, am sure you will once again find satisfactory joy in one another.
Wish all the best.
2007-07-17 03:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kaka M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not as much as I would like, but then again maybe it is not a bad thing. Marriage is more than just sex. Personally, I often feel exhausted after all the errands I have to run. Sometime it is just better to get some sleep than to have sex. But I think you should be able to get once per week on average.
2007-07-17 02:21:21 · answer #5 · answered by coldrain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been with my wife about 6 years, married for 1 and we have sex now only 2 - 3 times a week.
went from 2 - 3 times a day when we first got together.
2007-07-17 02:06:41 · answer #6 · answered by Jim Shorts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
typically we have sex at least 3-4 days out of the week, but if we dont get that much during the week, we usually have sex a few times over the weekend. i also like to give my husband oral to satisfy him at least a few days a week! and he returns the favor.
we have been married almost 2 years, together for 5
2007-07-17 03:44:29 · answer #7 · answered by ChemE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say 3 times a week at least (once a day wouldn't be enough for me). is the average. But it isn't the quantity. It is the fact that you should have to even discuss it with her. Maybe your not putting enough into it. Remember dating? Are you going straight for the poke?
If you get your wish, and she isn't into it, your looking at divorce. It makes them resent you.
Ask for divorce now and save yourself some grief or try to romance her. Romance her and don't try to get it on.
Girls have to know they are loved before they give it up.
2007-07-17 02:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by Computer Dr. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not getting sex from the wife and you once did take a step back and see what YOU are doing differently that might have her turned off to you.
2007-07-17 02:12:33 · answer #9 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adequate is what the couple mutually can agree upon. Every couple is different. Usually, one is more needy, but if things are good in the other aspects of their marriage, and health is good, not sure why there isn't a good balance of both being happy in the sack.
Needless to say, my hubby and I are happy!!!!
2007-07-17 02:08:29 · answer #10 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋