He is having an affair. He said he still have some feelings for me. He asked me to leave him alone. He is not asking for divorce. What should I do? I love him.
2007-07-17 02:01:28 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I'm truly sorry for your pain. Secondly, you have to take care of yourself, because no one else will. Divorce him. You deserve better. He's a dog.
2007-07-17 02:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by Kathryn™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My dear, he wants his cake and eat it too. He admits to not loving you anymore. PLUS, he's having an affair. He has some feelings for you because if he didn't that would be inhumane.
The real reason why he doesn't want a divorce is because since he's having an affair he would have his a*s handed to him. Also in some states you can sue the person he is having an affair with. So of course he doesn't want a divorce because he doesn't want to have to pay for child support if applicable and alimony.
As for what should you do, that's up to you. There is a fine line between love and hate. He is riding that line and will continue for as long as you let him. Once one has cheated the trust is then very hard to get back if it is ever gotten back.
I'm sorry for your pain. I understand that you love him. But trying to overlook this and wait on the side until he makes up his mind is going to make you angry if he decides to choose her. He just wants you to wait because you're his security if it doesn't work out.
2007-07-17 02:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by irisheyeslas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband to get into some marriage counseling with you. It isn't right for him to be sleeping with another woman and ask you to leave him alone. Ask him how he would feel if you where sleeping with another man and, if he still has some feeling for you then he needs to work on his marriage not his hormones. If he isn't willing to work on his marriage with you then there is nothing you can do but, move on. You can go to counseling by yourself and work through what you need to work on. You might still love him and it Will hurt but, you don't want to stay in a relationship like that. You deserve better.....good luck
2007-07-17 02:11:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him love you. He's the one who is in the wrong. If he's not asking for a divorce then you have to decide if you want to stay with him and put up with his cheating. I think you would be better off without him. If you want to try to work it out then the best thing would be marriage counseling but it doesn't sound like he'd be willing to do that. I understand that you love him but do you really want to stay married to someone you can't trust?
2007-07-17 02:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by angela 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no way you can make him do anything. Tell him how you feel and that you are willing to work on your anger problem and that you would like to try counseling with him. That is all you can do. If he is determined to divorce, then so be it. You can take it as a learning experience and develop a healthier relationship in the future with someone else.
2007-07-17 02:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by TB28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd call him a pig but I don't want to offend all the really nice pigs out there. LEAVE HIM!! He doesn't want a divorce? Of course not. You're keeping him fed, clothed and living in a clean home. She's entertaining him. How can you love someone who treats you this way? I think you love what you THOUGHT he was, not what he is.
2007-07-17 02:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel you're pain because hearinng that the one you love don't love you anymore is really hard to bear but aside from loving him, you still have yourself to stand for.
loving him may be the beginning of wonderful plans that you have made together before but you have to face it that the man you have married long ago is not the same man that you are living with right now.
he has change and though it is really painful, you have to let go and this time love and respect yourself.
for now, it may seem an ending but someday, you will realize that this is just the beginning of a new wonderful chapter of your life. be strong.
don't hold on with the relationship that you cannot even hold instead, hold on to " BEAUTY OF LIFE" and you will surprise that many doors will soon open for you.
GOODLUCK
2007-07-17 02:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by happy damsel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1: He doesn't love you anymore
2: He has an affair
3: He wants you to leave him alone
4: He doesn't wanna have a divorce
Please divorse him he just doesn't wanna pay that's why he's still married. It's better to be alone than to be with someone you can't trust and doesn't love you. You deserve better.
I know this is painfull especially when your still in love but sometimes it good to stand up for yourself and take live in your own hands!!
2007-07-17 02:09:35 · answer #8 · answered by Sylvie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he doesn't love you anymore he is in lust with someone else. Remember how you felt when your relationship was new. Your crazy about that other person, thats how he is feeling with her. I would separate from him, leave the house you share and see what happens but I certainly wouldn't give him his cake and let him eat it too. If it were me I would walk and not look back EVER!! Three is a crowd.
2007-07-17 02:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by Maria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a boyfriend. Then you won't care.
If he is no longer a husband, stop being a wife. No cooking, cleaning, washing his clothing or anything that a wife may do. And sing when he is in the house. Never show that you are angry. Act as if you don't care. Men are like hunting animals. They get bored. Make him chase you and act like you don't want to be caught.
2007-07-17 02:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by tiaburkeangry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. His loss will be someones gain. If she had an affair with a married man she'll do it again. Then your husband will know how it felt to be betrayed. What a jerk...
Good Luck......
2007-07-17 03:16:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋