Despair
The Cry went Out
Reply was Clear
Help was Needed
No one was There
Alone and Suffering
Confusion Everywhere
Direction Turning
Internal Despair.
Disappointment Seeded
Falling to Tears
Distance Growing
No one to See
Need and Wanting
Stay where they Be
Direction Turning
Internal Misery.
Silent Conversations
Voices Everywhere
Hurt Emerging
Ho one to Hear
Doubt and Questions
Senseless Care
Direction Turning
Internal Despair.
2007-07-16 21:37:45 · 14 answers · asked by Sam 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Thank you scaredbluesailor
it is not "Ho" but should be "No".
Thank you for catching that for me.
2007-07-16 21:51:06 · update #1
I found this poem just right. I empathetically understand what is said. Good job writing. Not very poem needs to have rythym like " I knew a man from nantuckett" So keep up your writing with all your emotional inspirations. Those that come from the heart are the ones people like to share.
2007-07-24 19:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sam, It may be emotional but
I took it as someone injured and
in despair from lack of anyone
finding them or hearing them.
Maybe a gunshot wound a blast injury
in the war? After reading again, I am taking
it both ways. lol but besides all that, the title
does fit it perfectly and the poem does
describe despair and describes it well.
2007-07-21 21:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Freebird-Robin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad...good echo, but you need a different word in line 2 of stanza 2..."tears" doesn't rhyme with "see", "be" or "misery". Other than that, the poem is consistent...but it doesn't have an impact on me...not sure why...too soft maybe? Thoughtful piece, but the broken thoughts don't meld together as well as they might. Not sure what to suggest.
All in all, it's not bad, but it's not memorable either.
2007-07-24 16:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
. ...I had visions of 911 and wars everywhere and disasters at sea, mining accidents , aircraft accidents. It made me remember the brown out or black out in the 1964 along the eastern seaboard. And the initial time of my young daughters cancer diagnosis, driving home from the doctors. very evocative! , You did it for me!. Good Job!
2007-07-24 13:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by pat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are depressed. But it is good maybe spell check would be good unless its is supposed to say "Ho one to hear"
2007-07-16 21:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked it...especially the part with the "ho" lol. Seriously, it was pretty good.
2007-07-17 04:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good, certainly captured the Title and was very well conveyed through your verse. Well done, Libithina x
2007-07-21 04:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by libithina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's alright
but,
you should have used some kind of pattern (iambic pentameter)
also its very emo
2007-07-16 21:41:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know for sure that we're best inspired when down.
This poem is a masterpiece!
2007-07-16 22:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Amlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as you work only, it is good, but I also find it self-centered. Hey, lighten up, don't you ever loose hope.
2007-07-16 23:20:39 · answer #10 · answered by leeroy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋