Many women choose never to have children because of a number of reasons but I've found that these women often have to endure the rest of society thinking that it's 'not normal'.
I myself have chosen NEVER to have children and hate it when I'm forced to listen to people whitter on about how other people can't have kids themselves and what a waste it is that I don't have this pproblem but am still choosing not to have any.
It is not my own personal fault that there are couples who cannot conceive. I'm sorry but it just isn't my problem, not that I don't care about these people it's just I hate feeling ridaculed and made to feel guilty about my decision.
Me having children isn't going to help these childless couples is it?
Are there any other people out there who have experienced this?
Are any of you one of those who make childless people feel guilty for their decisions?
2007-07-16 20:50:32 · 20 answers · asked by Rainbow-Taster 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Wow that is ridiculous. I have heard people be judged about having abortions or having lots of children, but to be judged because you choose not to have children?
It amazes me the things people think it okay to comment on. Personally, I believe if a woman, man, or couple decide they don't want children there is nothing wrong with that. The last thing this world needs more of is parent's that don't want children.
Sounds to me like you are a responsible adult...I would just ignore the ignorant people that tell you its a waste for you to not be having children.
2007-07-17 01:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by edmistonlee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think they are subject to discrimination generally in as much as you are penalised in a practical way for NOT being a mother by the law of the land, discrimination in any form is wrong. Everybody deserves the same opportunity.
if this is not happening and all you have is people voicing their opinion, what you are describing is prejudice, rather than discrimination which is the action born of it.
if you are being discriminated against for some reason then that is serious and you should look at chasing that up via the proper channels if it is happening at work, in your college etc
Outside of that, it could be that some people are finding it difficult to understand or take what you say seriously, when you say you will NEVER have a child and you are only 19. Most people have a similar attitude to the prospect of being a parent when they are a teenager and I would consider yours a fairly normal response. They shouldn't be surprised.
Whether your mind changes or not is irrelevant. We are not living in the dark ages here, it's really up to you what you do and if other people don't like it just ignore them rather than entering into a futile discussion.
2007-07-16 21:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to change your wording on the subject: you are not childless, you are child-free. Big difference. If you say you are childless, it means that you would like to have kids but you can't. Stating that you are child-free is suggesting that you made a decision not to have kids. I think this is the first step in getting other people to accept your decision. When they say that your uterus is useless, then you need to tell people that us humans also have an appendix, which is a completely useless part of the internal system, i.e. it is not used for anything, however, if it gets into trouble the doctors would take it out. If people say that you are selfish then tell them that you are not selfish because you wouldn't be a good mother therefore you are not going to make the life of an innocent person a misery. That is a very responsible decision. Stuff what others say, you should find other friends if this is what you are up against.
Just remember that your decision is not less normal than a gay man's decision to have sex only with males, which will definitely never result in the production of an offspring.
2007-07-16 23:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Luvfactory 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I submit you make a decision to allow the opinion of others to influence you - you're not obligated to do so. Children - and discussion about them - are very emotional subjects. Our biological empathy on the subject is extremely strong - that's being human and the survival of the species depends upon this extreme. Equally - there are people that can (and do) have children that shouldn't. If it were my call tomorrow - a license to have a child would be more difficult to obtain than a license to have a dog or exotic pet. Before anyone jumps all over me - I know western populations are declining and third world populations are increasing thus making this unworkable, etc.
I've seen extreme discrimination against parents in the workplace - where they are actively forced out of work (and this was in a western government environment), because they couldn't (or chose not to) attend this or that after work event; or didn't need to work overtime; or appeared to be putting the family first, etc.
If you're at peace with your decision - fine; personally I suggest never saying never. Absolute decisions tend not to served me well - but that's me.
2007-07-16 21:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Seán O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ive come across this viewpoint as well, that women who choose not to have children are considered "selfish".
I believe that if you want to have children, fine but if you dont, then thats fine also. I do not have any children at the moment but would like to have them in the future, however, if, for any reason, i was unable to reproduce, it would not be the end of the world for me.
I do not believe that having children is the be all and end all or that you cant have a happy and satisfying life without them.
There are many people who are desperate for children and when they eventually have them, they cant be bothered with them. Its better to make an informed desicion before bringing a child into this world.
2007-07-16 22:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't have kids and I have a close friend who has chosen never to have kids for reasons of her own. I haven't asked the reasons because I think it would be a gross invasion of privacy and I would NEVER criticise her for her decision.
Whether or not to have children is a very important, personal decision and is nothing to do with anyone else.
I am sorry that you have had to put up with such rudeness.
2007-07-16 21:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by faithful 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
dont feel guilty for your descision you obviously know what you want from your life and seem happy with thr choice you have made you may feel diferent one day you may not thats fine to if people try to make you feel bad about it just be polite and say you are the person who descides what goes on in your life not them and at the end of the day that is all that matters
just focus on what you want know i have days when i feel that i would have got more from life if i waited to have children i dont regret havibg them but i do feel like i missed out on alot im only 23 with 3 children and pregnant again i wont be having anymore children after this.
if i could i would honestly haev them later so i could make there lives as good as i wish i had it.
your not doing anything wrong and dont be told otherwise
2007-07-16 20:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by kellytreen 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Gosh you must live around some really tacky people! I have never heard anyone say anything like that.
If anyone gets my goat, it is people who thoughtlessly bring children into the world when they have no intention of caring for them properly, but think that they should have complete control of the poor kids.
It is no one's decision but yours. Just laugh the bozos off. Not everyone can be born with a modicum of intelligence and unfortunately those who are bereft of it are often the loudest in their voicings!
2007-07-16 21:12:46 · answer #8 · answered by Christine H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know women on both ends of this discussion. my aunt has no children and never wanted any. my sister on the other hand had 9 children all hers and her husbands, and if her body could have handled it they would have had more. i dont think you should be judged for your decision your the one who has to live with it. it effects noone but yourself. maybe its hard for ppl to understand because children are wonderful and they feel you may be missing out on this great thing. but you can enjoy other ppls children and walk away when they get tired cranky or acting up. i hope my answer helps. good luck to you and have a nice day.
2007-07-16 21:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by nurse_kiddy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i say congratulations!!! that is being a better mother than allot of ppl lol i am a mother i have always wanted to be a mother but just because that is what is for me doesn't mean that is for you so what they would rather someone get pregnant and be a crappy mom? i really wish that more ppl who don't really want to be a parent and just think that babies are cute would make that decision. and like you said its not your fault other ppl have a hard time with this! my sister just isn't the mommy type i think that she will eventually have one child but it will be much latter in life we just have different priorities and that is ok i encourage her to live her life the way that makes her happy.
2007-07-16 21:06:04 · answer #10 · answered by fairy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋