My husband doesn't love me?

Question

His unfaithfulness and lying has literally changed me. I don't feel good about myself at all. He's made passes at my friends.... slept with women I wouldn't touch with other men's penises. I've given everything I can. I don't have anything left. Please, someone help. My confidence is gone.... and my family doesn't even see things my way. Good lord, what do I do? He's killing me.... I've never turned to so many vices in my life. Since we've been married, I've become and alcoholic, been prescribed Prozac, and I can't stop snorting cocaine... all this just to make it through the day. I can't take anymore. I'm literally dying.... and he's asleep. Are any of you awake? Please don't bash me. I can't take it right now.

Answer 1

Oh dear, how sad your story is ! You need to concentrate wholly on yourself, however you must not blame your husband for your vices, that's totally down to you. You need to gain some self respect and do things for yourself, you can get better if you want to. Please see a doctor or counselor for advice, I know you can recover if you want to, don't allow anyone else to ruin you chances. Life is wonderful, treasure it with arms wide open.

Answer 2

Counseling is all about how to handle things, Most people have their life go less then the way they want, but there's a lot of information on the net. They know more about these things now, if you get the right people. Quantum leaps are available now if you know where to look. You can flip situations in some pretty good time. The whole world is asleep, needs to reverse their thinking and get de-programmed. Your not alone. We're all in this mess together.
I sure wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone like that until they had an aids test with drugs involved and they had changed. Not likely for some time. I wouldn't say you don't love each other, just that neither of you knows how it works and how to work it. Who does? It has to be learned and couselors are there to do the teaching. Of course he needs conseling too. Community clinics usually have a sliding scale by income. Well worth it usually, but I like the Internet at the same time. Self esteem comes from the inside, people don't know that. You both don't have it and most don't either. It's nothing outside, everything is and always was on the inside really. We make our world there. "If you don't go within, you go without." In every sense. People and the world is thinking backwards and blocking the mind from working by our bad programming. Emotional intelligence gets you the refinement. You can put the cart before the horse. It's all an art and subtleties. It takes some good guidance, but you will probably end up better than ever and way ahead of the crowd as you have the motivation and more insight now.That's if you persist. Most people are leading an unexamined life and never get all the gusto. You've got a shot now. Help on Yahoo answers is no help because it makes you limp along and not get professional help. You must. I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

How can you feel good about yourself when he's doing all this to you. What you need is a hugggggggggggggggg. Look. You know you are drinking and snorting to get rid of the pain. You also know that it's not going to solve anything. Get yourself together and start making some decisions about your life. You are the only one that's going to grab your life by the balls and do something to change it. The pain will ease up once you make a decision to not live like this anymore. You know you have it in you to do this. Don't worry about him. Don't worry about your family. Take care of you. Now is your time. It won't take much at all to be happy will it? A small place of your own. Your independence back. Knowing that when you wake up in the morning you will live a life that YOU choose. Don't let that bastard win. The smallest things will make you happy once you decide to move on. The joy of knowing that he can't hurt you. The joy of not having the pain he puts on you to be drowned in alcohol and drugs. Just breathing again. On your own. Do it. Make your plan and just get out. There are so many other women out there just like you. Be quiet about it. Make a plan. Give yourself a little time to get organized but don't wait too long. Let your goal of getting out replace the pain. Let it drive you. You will be so much happier if you do. If he doesn't love you, love yourself. Love yourself enough to not live like this anymore. You can do it. Good luck.

Answer 4

So, basically, she left him, married someone else and then found out the new guy was no prince? Your husband is a fool. She's probably happy enough when her husband is giving her what she wants, and only "loves" yours (or other men) when she is feeling ignored. Point this out to your husband, and tell him that because he fell for this, you've lost respect for him. Tell him you want to be married to someone who is going to love you for you and won't be so eager to let another woman invade your lives. You say this to make him dislike her. My guess is that he said those things because he was so flattered by her attention. It would be very hard to ignore someone who had left you for someone else coming back and saying they regretted the decision. However, many men would have cheated and he didn't. That tells me that he really DOES love you but was caught up in the flattery of the moment. I would stay married if he starts to see her for what she is ... a troublemaker ... but not if he's going to keep her on pedestal. Good luck.

Answer 5

Leave him. I know this is a scary thing. Do you have a support system of any kind? Check yourself into rehab. take care of yourself!! No person has the right to treat you or anyone else the way you're being treated. The drugs and alcohol only help for awhile but you are making a bigger problem for yourself doing those things. Don't kill yourself over him. It's not worth it. Do you want out? It will be very hard at first but it does get easier and BETTER. Turn your back on him, file for a divorce and take care of yourself..

Answer 6

First of all, how long have you been married? It appears to me that this man should be cut loose. If he is unfaithful and lying, what is your obsession with this guy? You need to walk away because you're right -- he's fostered the idea to kill yourself through your actions. I don't want to bash you, but NO man is worth it. Leave and get some major help!

Please don't say that you love him because that is a cop-out. If he has money, is all the pain worth it. How about children? Do you have any? If not,
don't consider getting pregnant "to save your marriage". Lady, stop the nonsense and get out of that nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

everyone says divorce.. leave him etc.. but its not always that easy.. ultimately you NEED to leave him.. if he is doing all of these things and being the cause for you to inflict such bad things on yourself, whos to say he isnt capable of doing worse??? I would suggest either going thru the phone book or looking on yahoo local for places that could help you. I dont know if he is abusing you exactly, but try domestic violence counseling or in your case maybe even an addiction counseling service. Both places whould be able to help you or refer you. You could even be more "broad" and turn to maybe a local red cross- they could direct you more in the right direction. It will be hard, but you have to really want this for yourself, and it will be really hard just to do it alone, you may need help- dont be afraid to ask for it! I think this really sounds serious... please see it that way. If your family isnt there for you, dont give up.. after all, in the end YOU are really the only one you have....good luck

Answer 8

Wow, babe, if he is causing you this much pain, you have to let him go. It is much easier said than done, I realize that. But, you can't continue putting your physical and mental health at risk. Do something STAT. Don't wait this out, you have done that enough it sounds lilke. If the rest of your friends/family don't approve, they obviously can't see what it's doing to you.
Please seek help in therapy, or at least a very good friend that will listen and keep this to themself.
I think you need to find a lawyer very soon, and file before this turns into something much worse.

I wish you the best.

Answer 9

Oh honey, take a deep deep breath. Love makes us all doing crazy things and we all recover from it and so will you. When you are ready, you will walk away and you will be OK, even when you believe you wont. You have given him all the power and he used it and abuse it, that's not your fault. But, you need to take responsibility for what you are doing to yourself, you are hurting you and that's not OK. Get up and look in the mirror, remember who you are, You are strong, beautiful. loving and caring and you deserve a life that gives you everything you are. He is not capable of love, but you are. You have the power to make that happen for you. SO DO IT.

Answer 10

Dear, instead of wasting your life on this creep, leave him and take care of yourself.. You're letting him put you through hell on earth..Your family isn't exactly supporting you either..Try to find a place where you can go to dry yourself out and stop snorting cocaine.. You need help, but you're the one that needs to find it.. Walk one foot after the other and call a women's shelter or mental health hot line.. or both.. Please do this for yourself.....