My turkish husband who used me to try to get a visa to Canada ( thank god Canada saw through his charade) and is now divorcing me is marrying a second wife before the divorce is final in an illegal islamic ceremony next month. How would you deal with this emotionally after a year of fake words of love and then a year of abuse ? Why do i feel like garbage thrown out on the street and deeply dishonored ? Can't seem to shrug it off and am deeply depressed.
2007-07-16 19:59:07 · 10 answers · asked by seker 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All you can do is accept the situation for what it is, and for what it isn't and move on with your life. I'm sorry for this terrible thing happening to you but he isn't worth your tears and the pain you're feeling. It's going to take some time to get over and I'd suggest spending that time with positive people and focusing on getting your new life together. If he was meant for you he would still be with you, and acceptance is the hardest part of all this. If things don't get better in a few weeks I would suggest counseling. Speaking to someone who doesn't know you, your husband or the situation can give you some valuable insight and it can possibly make this journey much less painful.
Good luck to you.
2007-07-16 20:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you would feel this way on the surface - you had a perspective of your relationship you thought he shared, but found out, rather brutally, that he was having a very different perspective of the world and your relationship.
It's a heck of a thing to work through. A good place to begin is by acknowledging that men and women percieve life and relationships differently in the first place, that they have different goals simply by biological drives alone, and that sometimes, individuals are so swept up in the concept of a relationship, that they do not consider that the goals of the other person may not be in alignment with their own.
Now, this is going to sound crazy (maybe), but I suggest you take out a pen and paper and write down everything you are angry about with your former mate. Start each sentence with "You made me feel (fill in the blank) when you (fill in the blank)." Just write and write and write...and even when you think you can't write any more, read it over and see if there isn't an emotion or instance you've left out. When you're done, you can either tuck the pages away somewhere so can you reread them later, or you can burn them, symbolically releasing yourself from the disillusionment, pain and hurt he has brought into your life.
Next move? Do seven NICE things for someone else. Give money to a homeless person, bake cookies for a neighbor, smile at a child, etc, etc. Then, do seven NICE things for YOURSELF. Go to the salon, get your hair done, your nails, get a massage, buy new shoes, take a long bubble bath, pick out new makeup, read a book you've been wanting to read, listen to a favorite CD, go to a movie that will make you laugh.
After doing all that, you should feel a lot better!
2007-07-16 20:18:27 · answer #2 · answered by Johnna L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7
2016-04-01 08:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you call the emigration office and tell them that,?or ask if you could do anything about it?Insted of getting depressed,do something.Even if it could be going to the ceremony and throwing an egg on him.It won't stop him marrying her ,but it will ruin his mood.Don't ever trust a turk.They are barberians.
2007-07-16 20:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why fret? He's moving on.. You should also. I know it may be difficult, but there's no use you feeling dishonored... He's the one you should want to never see or hear of again... If your having ongoing depression, you may want to go to therapy and a psychiatrist to see you through..Let it go! Good luck..
2007-07-16 20:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by Thunderrolls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Madam, i respect you, b,caz u respect my islam, ur turkish husband example like a animal,who live in garbage room,ok
don,t feel any. islam is good but fallower,s like u r turkish are bad,if i amdo some thing 4 you. i will hang that man,who
teasing you.A LLAH HELP YOU, AMEEN
2007-07-16 23:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps bigamy isn't illegal where he is getting married. It's not illegal in several countries. Besides, what do you care? He treated you bad and you're getting a divorce.
2007-07-16 20:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my mommy used to tell me if any man treated me like that to wrap him up in a sheet then put a bar of soap in a sock and whoop the tar out of him,that will put a stop to that...him being an idiot an all.........lol
2007-07-16 21:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy you have rid yourself of him before you wasted any more years with him.
2007-07-16 20:03:40 · answer #9 · answered by Death Girl Am 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get drunk, get laid, and then get on with your life!!!!
2007-07-16 20:11:57 · answer #10 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋