I ask why b/c I've known her for so long...and it's not like she isn't use to different complexions
this is while we were walking to summer school--it was a very sunny and humid--
friend: " we should switch spots I'm the one who needs to get darker"
-I wasn't offended by this and we switched spots-
-but then I thought why would she want to be in the sun she's always obsessing about her complexion-
Me: "Why?"
Friend: Well you don't want to get any darker, do you?
Me: (laughs) that's mean you know
Friend: well you dont...
-I waited a while to see if she realized what she was saying...and when she didn't...I stopped laughing... what a stupid thing to say... we've been friends since grade 3... it didn't bother me so much untill the next day...when I thought about it again-
the fact that she was serious about it...is what offended me... how are you going to say that to someone who has probably been made fun of...for having a dark complexion
what a stupid thing to say
2007-07-16 17:49:47 · 8 answers · asked by 1 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
not this friend...she doesn't like getting darker...she just didn't want me to :|
oh ya and she asian....doesn't make a difference but...w/e
2007-07-17 00:54:10 · update #1
It sounds like your friend had a momentary lack of judgement. I doubt she meant anything mean by her comment, as nasty as it was. If I were you, I would have a calm conversation with her and just let her know that what she said hurt your feelings. Then the ball will be in her court so to speak. Wait to see how she responds, does she apologize or does she blow it off, one way or the other, you'll get your answer as to weather or not she is your friend or not. Good Luck and take care.
2007-07-16 18:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by prettyblueyes38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest by the sounds of it I don't think that she was trying to be offensive to you at all. I have quite fair skin, and the latest and biggest obsession amongst women that I have noticed is that girls want to have beautiful, bronze, tanned and glowing skin - as many girls thinks reflects sexiness.
Lucky for you this comes naturally.
Don't take it personally, but be honest and tell her how you feel - she most likely has no idea that what she said was offensive to you.
But additionally, you should also be concerned about her because tanning in the sun is unhealthy and can lead to skin cancer if it is abused. Have a talk to her and make sure that she understands this.
2007-07-17 00:56:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a really a stupid remark and I think you should tell your friend how much it bothered you. You two have been friends for a very long time. Don't stop being her friend for this...but let her know how you feel. You deserve an apology.
2007-07-17 01:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Chaz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend how you feel about what she said. If she is your friend she will apologize. Then you can move on or you can get new friends. I have friends that have have known all my life but I won't hang around them because they are dirtbags who make fun of other people and steal. Guys who I consdidered my best friends. Screw them though, I would rather hang out with good people or myself then losers.
2007-07-17 03:31:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a very rude thing to say. No wonder it upset you. Talk to her about it. She may not realize how it hurt you. If she doesnt care that she hurt your feelings, maybe it's time to find other friends. Sometimes, though, people say things without thinking. I hope you're able to work this out.
2007-07-24 18:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by techtwosue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you consider this person a friend, then it is to your friend you need to be saying this. You need to be honest and tell her/him that you were really offended by what was said and why. If they apologise, accept it and forget about it. If they don't, you know for sure they are not and likely never were truly a friend.
2007-07-17 00:54:33 · answer #6 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off, why would something so minor be offensive to you? we need to learn to let the silly things slide by. also, isnt it interesting that we babble all the time about how we wish people were honest and then we scoff when they are?
2007-07-17 01:04:28 · answer #7 · answered by ThrockGrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she's jealous, an wants to have lovely skin like yours, and can't!
This girl is not your friend! You can do much better!
2007-07-22 19:31:50 · answer #8 · answered by jaded 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋