Plz help me find the right solotion!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Ok i am getting merried but this hole prosses thing has becomed the worst nightmare because of mother

I am trying to please my mother and his family by getting merried through the church, but the priest wants me to be to go back in to my original state were he is so we could do it together like most couples do. The thing is that i cant go back because my mother wount let me go unless i am merried by the church. My mother is very religious and so is his parents. If i ever end up going back to my original state i would not have any place to live but his house. In wich he dosent mind cuz his brother lives there to. What scares me the most is that i love my parents and i want them to be there on the day of my wedding and wrost part is that my own mother has threten me that if i ever leave not to count with her sopport.

So what should i do?

Answer 1

I can truly understand your mother's not wanting you to live with your boyfriend and his brother. I don't know how far apart you and your boyfriend are -- but I do know that the marriage counseling that the priest wants to do is only good if you do it together.

It is about finding out the important parts of yourselves and learning to blend together as a family.

Talk to your local priest, and see if they can assist you with working something out.


Is there a way you could come out for some of the counseling sessions? Especially if you are planning a wedding there, you could combine a trip for counseling with dealing with some of the wedding details.

And perhaps, you could work it out that you and your local priest set up a conference call with your fiance and his local priest for some of the other sessions?? This way you two would be doing the counseling together, but it wouldn't be as expensive as traveling there for each session.

Answer 2

I'm wondering many things. What is your age? What is your fiancee's age? What are your respective denominations? When you get married, you need to be united on many common grounds and the chief of all of them is what denomination will you both be adhering to if any? Take time to know you fiancee, my girl. Take time to know his family and let him take time to know your family. When you make wedding vows you get your spouse with all of his and her baggage and relatives. It just comes as a package.

You, I suppose, are a young adult, not a minor. You must act as a young adult and not be ruled or intimidated by what anyone else wants. The people that matter here are you and your soon to be spouse. Do not bend over backward for anyone who threatens you with no support if you do not do it "her" or "his" way. I want you to both sit down and think and talk about what the two of you want. Let not any desires of the others come into this very important decision of your lives.

As far as the wedding "process"...do not get caught up with all the "shoulds". There is only one "should" . You "should" make sure you and your mate are compatible in almost everyway you can think of, and that includes your beliefs about everything. You two are about to become responsible adults. Start now acting like that. You are not to lean on anybody else after you marry. That will break down your union as fast as fast as adultery. You are about to enter into a sacred covenant between you, your spouse, and our almighty, loving Father God. You are not two strands of rope, but three. You, him and God. I don't like to think that Mom would threaten you like that. I am so sorry, if she does. There needs to be a loving understanding to come about between you and your Mom.

Just make sure you both have at the very least a high school education or the equivalent. Make sure that the two of you have good jobs and really you should both go to college before you marry. It is just plain hard to be married without adequate income and without adequate understanding about who is to be in this marriage. Get you common goals put down in writing and you both sign the paper. You may find out more than you ever thought once you get to actually writing down your thoughts; maybe more than you are willing to face. But, face it all now. Not later, girl. Not later.

I really wish you the best. Know Jesus first of all. Both of you. Take Him into your marriage. A cord of three is not easily broken.

Answer 3

You mom act like you are marrying her. She should butt the hell out and you decided with your new husband what is best. Now if you are getting married, you need to grow the hell up and stop letting other people decided what is best for you. You love your mom but you must decided with your spouse not your mom. If mom threathens you then she need a serious wake up call. She need to learn the hard way that you are not a rug and you will not be disrespected on your wedding day.

Answer 4

Tell your mother its her duty to support you through this time and she needs to understand that you are an adult and can make big girl decisions for yourself. Dont let your mother get between your marriage, but dont let your marriage get between you and your mother either.

Answer 5

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cell : [phone]
yahoo chat ID : surjitsippy
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Waiting for ur positive reply...
Thanks
Surjeet S

Answer 6

your mother needs to understand you are the one getting married and she needs to help you not add problems like that upon you in my opion?

Answer 7

Hey, did you know you have a spell checker you can use before you post your questions?