My Fi went to college but dropped out after 3 years. He didn't have enough money to finish. I graduated w/ a bachelor's degree and I'm pursuing a master's in education.
My closest and very well educated friend said she would never marry someone of less education. She asked me if I considered how our educational difference might cause tension in our marriage.
Of course, I never thought about this.
Should I? What tension might this cause?
2007-07-16 17:09:43 · 9 answers · asked by Answer Girl 2007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This has nothing to do with our relationship. I'm just wondering if there is any validity to my friend's claim.
My Fi helped pay for my grad school. He's older then me and dropped out of college about 7 years ago. He makes good money now and doesn't see himself going back.
2007-07-16 17:17:14 · update #1
I have a degree and my husband has a lot of core knowledge in a lot of areas. He has a job that requires a degree and was able to get it with experience. I'm very proud of him and it is never an issue. Everyone calls him a walking encyclopedia.
My first husband had no college and was a good guy as well. His lack of education didn't have anything to do with our split.
It's not a big deal unless you make it so.
2007-07-16 17:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Different education levels? No. I doubt that would cause tension. It's more important that you marry someone who is just as, if not more intelligent than you. This way you'll find intellectual stimulation with your partner. I couldn't marry a dummy, but as I'm sure you know, a lot of dummies graduate with undergraduate degrees. A degree does not make a mind.
Intelligence is key. I believe your friend hasn't quite realized that going to school doesn't make anyone smarter, just more knowledgeable about a certain subject area and an undergraduate degree only gives general knowledge about a subject area.
I wouldn't suggest marrying someone who is much less intelligent than you, but less formerly educated? That's fine. The only conflicts I could imagine that causing may occur when you're going on about your thesis and your husband only pretends to listen, but that has nothing to do with marriage. Most people are not going to be interested in your thesis work unless they're working in the same field, but you will talk about it a lot. As long as he knows it's your passion and supports you and doesn't have that sort of macho "my wife can't be more educated or make more money than me" type of attitude, you shouldn't worry about anything!
2007-07-16 17:40:07 · answer #2 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only tension I can think of is if so-called friends that are looking to create problems where there aren't any and are able to influence you to think that way.
Your friend is a snob.
I didn't finish my degree either, but I do have about 300 credit hours. I'm a constant reader too. I hoard loads of trivia. I can outwit 90% of people at a party. My self-education is priceless. I can answer many jeopardy questions, from classical music to authors to art history questions.I live in a very fine home, and I don't go without a single thing material that I desire, except that piece of paper hanging on the wall !
Who knows, your husband may decide later in life to finish that degree anyway.
How do we measure success in life? By a degree? By a character with integrity? By the size of our home? By our happiness? Each of us answers that question, and each of us in the end gets what we sought...and, what we deserve.
2007-07-16 17:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your friend is the one with the problem. Not you. If it hasn't been an issue in your relationship so far, don't let the snobbishness of someone else make you question it.
2007-07-16 17:21:51 · answer #4 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will only make a difference if you let it. You could always help him pay for the rest of his education.
2007-07-16 17:18:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend sounds like a snot!
How could you even consider what she said if you love him?
Who says that he can't return to finish school later?
Don't ruin your relationship over this "friend". If this is your only issue with him, then count your blessings.
2007-07-16 17:13:58 · answer #6 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you truly loved this man, you wouldn't need to ask this question. Re-think the engagement and do him a favor.
2007-07-16 17:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe he will be able to finish school one day. maybe your friend will meet people smarter than her self one day.
2007-07-16 17:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seem.s like you need new friends . in my opion?
2007-07-16 17:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋