10 year marriage. Wife suddenly unhappy and gets own apartment after I refuse to leave house but doesn't move out as planned - finally moves in with guy (second affair in 3 months) on our street who the children know (I do not) - cocaine likely being abused by wife - now does not call children or seem to be interested in them - incidentally had breast enhancement and botox without my knowledge about 3 weeks ago (? where money came from) - she is determined to allow this new person to spend time with our children and I am refusing - any suggestions? (I have filed for divorce and am seeking sole custody)
2007-07-16 16:59:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you can see if you can order her to take a drug test .right down time and dates IF she tries to contact the children,then you can show how she hasnt had anything to do with them in long periods of time.it will help you in getting full custody. she will have to pay you support and more then likely she wontpay,let it go until she owes you alot ,then take her back to court and tell your lawyer to see if to stop her from going to jail or having to pay the large sum ,she can sign over total custody to you where she gets no contact and no say in their lives.i had to do that with my ex and he was given open visitation by my choice for the kids but his drugs are more important ,and has only seen his kids maybe 5 times in a year.they have learned that its a desease from the drug and not them that has made him do the things he has done.
2007-07-16 17:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't quite understand.. you say she doesn't seem interested in the kids, but is determined to spend time with the kids with this new person?? If she has them around this, you can do a couple things until the custody case.. depending on age of kids (this works if young - not teenagers) - have them drug tested to see if they have any of the drugs in their system.. if so, have yourself drug tested too then call CPS.. tell them the children are being endangered due to exposure from drugs... also if kids are reporting abuse (of ex wife) to you you can include that in the report.. CPS may suspend her privileges to the kids pending an investigation.. Also, your atty could take this up in court and ask the Judge to not allow this guy around your kids if he has a record... your atty could do some background info on the guy to find out...
It sounds like you are doing the right thing by filing for sole custody.. keep up the fight and you could win.. I did.
2007-07-16 17:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to first evaluate if your concern is truly about the kids, or the fact that you don't like her behavior, in addition to being hurt. That's understandable. But if she does have a relationship with the kids, and they are not being harmed then you may have to just bite your tongue. If you really do feel that the kids may be harmed, then you need to document, document, document! But remember not to try to "'lead" your kids into saying/thinking bad things about their mom. Even if she is the biggest tramp in the world! (Not saying that she is).
It's hard sometimes not to lose sight of things in situations like this, but just keep asking yourself "Is this really for the good of the children?"
Oh , the other thing is...how do you know that all of this is going on (drugs, etc.) Are these assumptions, here-say?
2007-07-16 17:08:36 · answer #3 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God bless you. Your situation is very difficult at best! If it is at all possible, I would seek professional help... talk to someone that specializes in children and lay this out for them. They may even suggest a forum for the kids to express their feelings. It sounds like your wife is very unstable and quite selfish. I know that you must be in pain also... I know you want to protect the kids, but taking care of your own pain and hurt is crucial for you to the the best single parent that you can be.
2007-07-16 17:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the children the truth about their mother and let them decide if they want to associate with her. Divorce this womans as soon as possible, obviously she is a selfish so and so. The bible says, you reap what you sow. You don't have to do anything to this person, she sounds like she is digging her own grave. I wish you well.
2007-07-16 17:09:14 · answer #5 · answered by Peggy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obtain legal custody.. Good luck!
2007-07-16 17:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by SweetBabyLucky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can prove the drug problem then you should have no problem getting the kids. Do not let them go to the house she is at if there are drugs there.
2007-07-16 17:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by curiousgirl2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
file on mental curelty and .adultry. as well child indarrgement. in my opion?
2007-07-16 17:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋