We have 2 beautiful children together. he doesn't want me to work. He say's my responsibilities are to our children and he will take care of us financilly. Which he is at the time. what can i do legally to assure i am titled to some of our finances in the future, if we should split up? He calls me his wife and i call him my husband. We've been together for 6years. I am not trying to get out or get his$$. .. i just want to make sure me and my 2 kids are secured in th future if anything should happened. (I sense he is doing somthing behind my back)
2007-07-16 16:11:24 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My suggestion is to speak to a lawyer, to find out what your rights are. I also suggest that you have some type of agreement written up, and signed & notarized by the both of you in regards to what would happen if your relationship dissolved, as far as the children, especially.
I understand that after 7 years together, here in the United States, that you would be considered to be a common-law marriage. You don't say where you're from, so the law might be different where you live. As he's promised to take care of you and the children, say that for your own security, should something happen to him, that the document would give you the security that's currently missing from the relationship.
If you suspect something going on behind your back, you should quietly and firmly have a talk with him, and stress that while you aren't accusing him of anything, that you need to know, as you want your relationship honest, and all topics should be put out in the open.
2007-07-16 16:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by tottpaula 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the problem with women shacking up; and worse yet, you have children. If he were fooling around and you had to break up and were married, you'd be entitled to half the marital assets based upon your time invested in the marriage. But since you're not married, you won't get that. And worse yet, even if you got married now, you start out at day 1, which means if you divorce, you'll get less than if you had been married for the whole 6 years. So, he maybe calling you wife, but you sure and the hell don't have the legal protection of a wife.
2007-07-16 16:26:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the state you live in. I know California you have some legal rights, as well as Texas, mainly because the law considers you legally married after a certain period of time living together. But the real issue is not what you can do to secure your future, but what the issue is why he wont marry you. Being a man myself, I have never been in this situation, but knowing how we think, there are two reasons that I can think of as to why marriage is not in his cards. One, he has been married or close to it before, and the relationship was such a failure because of the circumstance that there is an underlying fear, or two, he's just not that into you, and wants to be able to abandon ship at any time he feels he wants to, or plainly put, until something better comes along. I just wanted to be straightforward. I wasn't trying to be thoughtless, but sometimes the truth can hurt really bad. My advice, find out exactly why he wont commit. If he wont talk about it, then you need to find a way to get him to, and just not let up. He's a man, and any man can break under pressure.
2007-07-16 16:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by bigboyclone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you will be entitled to any of his income is through child support. If you were legally married and you did not work, after a certain amount of time you are entitled to alimony in some states. Some states only let you claim child support or alimony, whichever is the most.
I know you are hinting at a common law marriage because you specify that you call each other husband and wife. However, I think you should know that few states still recognize common law marriages. The states that still recognize common law marriages also have a list of specific conditions that have to be met. You need to check the law in your state, but its better to have actually married than to hope for a common law marriage.
The best advice I can give is to have him put your name on any joint assets, so that you will have a claim on them in case you split up.
2007-07-16 16:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are living in a state that recognizes common law marriage, like Colorado, then it is the same as married provided you hold yourself out as his wife, as he is currently holding himself out as your husband. If it is not a commonlaw state, then you need to either get married or draw up a contract in order to protect your interest the assets you acquire while together. As for your kids, if his name is on the birth certificate, he will be required to pay child support according the guidelines in the home state of the children (must live there 6 months). The rate varies from state to state but you are looking at about 25% of his income for two kids. You could also take out a life insurance policy on him naming you as benificiary. Then if he passes you could collect that. If he does not have a will or has one and you are not named in the will, then the money could pass to his parents and your kids, with you getting nothing. You can both provide for your financial protection without a marriage, but there needs to be very open discussions about it and it might be a good idea to enlist the help of an attorney.
2007-07-16 16:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by Mos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are experiencing are some of the problems that arise when you settle for a relationship without formalizing it. Basically, you have decided to shack up instead of completing the process which would give you and the children legal rights.
In fact, depending on your state, you may now be considered common law husband and wife, which could give you certain legal rights as well. I suggest you research the marriage laws in your state to determine if it recognizes common law marriage.
Good Luck
2007-07-16 16:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The correct answer is that there is a law of marriage. If a couple has been in the same household for 10 years, they are considered married. All the license does, is give you legal binding authority in case of divorce or children, etc. Once you have hit 10 years, most standard rules apply as if you were married.
2016-05-19 22:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on where you are it could be considered a common law marriage but I would ask a lawyer to be sure. If you're really worried make sure a will is drawn up that will ensure that you will receive what you deserve if he were to pass away, which I know you didn't mention but should also be a concern if you aren't legally married.
2007-07-16 17:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 things to check 1. Does common law marriage apply in your state. 2 is he recognized as the father on the birth certificates, if so he is legally responsible for the kids
2007-07-16 16:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by slashfinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been with your bf for 6 years and have yet to divorce? well, you may want to take care of that first. the next step (and this one's a stretch) marry him. Either that or get a job. He's pretty much got you trapped until you say i do. At best at this point, if you were to separate you get child support only. Married in the eyes of God means nothing unless you get that certificate.
2007-07-16 16:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by King H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋