Black co-worker now refuses to talk to me?

Question

Not too long ago, HR made me go through some sensitivity training; it wasn't too bad so now I'm trying my best to be a bit more sensitive of others.

Anyway, as this is fresh on my mind, I approached a black female co-worker to apologize about all the white people's crimes, like slavery, discrimination, etc... But she kind of just looked at me weird as if I were balancing a Buick on top of my d*ck.

Later, I felt mad about it and I thought about contacting HR and getting her fired. Its like I went through that training for nothing. I went back and called her racially insensitive to me and all my white ancestors, and she just busted out laughing, further humiliating me.

My question is, should I pass out flyers in everyones office mailbox that she's a racist? I also have a bit of dirt on her, I feel she doesn't dress appropriately enough for work, and I think its very offensive!

Answer 1

Thank you for this question. I'm still laughing. I would pass on the flyers but complain that her taste in attire is offending you. After all you have rights too don't you? Oh, thats right, no you don't. Your a white American male (I assume).

Answer 2

Unless YOU specifically did something to harm your co-worker you should never have made that apology.
Not every black person is walking around with a racial chip on his/her shoulder. Has she ever said or implied that white people owe her an apology? What you did was inappropriate, as I am sure your HR supervisor would tell you should you decide to mention the incident.
You created this awkward situation, not your co-worker. The best thing to do would be to leave her alone. Or maybe you could explain that you had just went through a racial sensitivity seminar and just didn't know what to do with the information you had digested.
Look at it this way: if a German man in his 20s walked up to a Jewish man in his 20s and said, 'hey, sorry about that whole Hitler thing', do you think that would make a difference in the Jewish man's life? Since neither person was alive to have experienced or committed the atrocities of the Holocaust, the apology is meaningless.
Now if you had said to your co-worker, "If I have ever done or said anything that has offended you in any way I would like to apologize", that would have had current relevance and meaning.
At any rate, please do not ever do that again. It was unnecessary and foolish. You should consider yourself lucky that all she did was laugh in your face.

Answer 3

She looked at you weird because it wasn't necessary for you to apologize to her. On top of that you came at her with this out of the blue so what do you expect, a cookie, an award? And it's obvious that your apology wasn't sincere. When you're sincere with your apology you could care less how someone reacts to it because in your heart you know you did the right thing, you was just apologizing because you took a class and at that moment felt that it was necessary for you to do. Apologies are not a task. Furthermore you get angry because you didn't get the response you want so now she's a racist for laughing at an idiot? Please do us all a favor and grow up! Putting flyer's in mailboxes proclaiming that she's a racist will surely get you fired. You've learned nothing from that class. You're still selfish and insecure. Talk to the director of the sensitivity training and get some help and advice. You obvious have anger issues.

Answer 4

You were out of line. You cannot apologize to someone about something in which you were not involved. What your ancestors did to blacks in their generation has no bearing on you today.

The over-sensitivity was on your shoulders. Corporate Human Resources are often swinging too far to the left to grasp reality at times. It is truly regrettable that America's blacks and American Indians had been treated the way they were. All we can do now is move forward in equality for all.

Don't even consider handing out flyers about the woman claiming that she is racist, nor should you drag up the dirt you say you have. Leave it alone and maybe down the road you can make peace with her on a more mature level.

Answer 5

I think you 'probably' meant well, but you took the racial sensitivity to the extreme in one minute and then to the other in the next. I also think that the entire office laughing at you while you attempted to apologize for slavery may have cut you and you are now taking it out on the black co-worker. Leave it alone. If you spread stuff around the office then you are digging your own hole, and you may have to practice apologizing all over again....

Answer 6

First, stop. Take a deep breath. This is DISGUSTING. It's YOUR fault the sensitivity training didn't work, not hers as your co-worker.
Surely she was just nervously disarmed by the randomness. Walk unpermitted onto an Indian reservation and ramble about how sorry you are about raping their women and taking their land.
Admitted: it was wrong of her to explode with laughter, but it was even more wrong of you to take her alarmed look when you told her you were sorry for selling her ancestors as slaves as some sort of hate crime.
Another factor: how well did you even know her?

In conclusion, DON'T use blackmail to solve this situation, or one thing will lead to another and you'll get yourself fired.

Answer 7

She might not have taken you seriously, she may have thought you were mockin' her in some way. Do you know her well? Do you two interact outside of work? If you don't have a personal relationship with her like being her friend then to mention something like that is kinda akward. If you think she is actin' inappropriately then why would you make a conscious effort to conduct yourself and disrespect yourself by actin' more inappropriately? If you are so much more mature then her then why stoop to whatever lowness you think she has stooped to?

Answer 8

LOL, What were you thinking??????

I would've had a stunned look as well considering many don't feel the need to apologize, but it was so RANDOM, out of the blue it was!

Then to say she is racially insensitive to YOUR ANCESTORS????????

The very SAME PPLE WHO MURDERED AND RAPED AND TORTURED HER ANCESTORS??? I think I would've laughed too

and I'd sue if you went around trying get me fired.

Answer 9

you's a funny dude ... lol.

Your sensitivity trainer needs to be fired.

You can't just going around apologizing to Black folks for slavery (unless your apology is accompanied by a large sum of money, then I am sure it will be happily accepted).

Answer 10

Sounds like you got a whole lot out of the HR training --
you missed out on sensitivity and common sense.The
vindictiveness comes shining through. Please climb
down off your high horse and get your head out of that
posterior position.