why do they find it surprising that I haven't had a bf? why do they always ask if I have a bf?

Question

I put it in this category because I want to hear it from women...not some sex crazed people in singles and dating...so, sorry if my categorization annoys you.

I have been meeting boys my age like crazy (new neighbors, church...just all over the place) And I talk to them, and they all end up asking me if I have a boyfriend (why is this? and does it happen to you when you talk to boys?) and then they act all suprised when I tell them I never have. (eyebrows go up. they say "really?" and they get this shocked face.) I'm only 14, I plan on waiting for a while before I go out (I keep hearing that dating is better when you're around 17-any older age) so why do they act all surprised and stuff????

It's probably the most obvious thing ever...Im pretty good at figuring out hard things, just not things that are right under my nose.

Answer 1

its probably because they find you very interesting and they themselves would want to date you if they had a chance... so it probably surprises them that you haven't dated someone.

If they understood that you choose not to date than they wouldn't be surprised...

Answer 2

A. They find you attractive.
B. They are trying to start a conversation.

The most common male line to let you know they're interested is 'do you have a boyfriend'.
It's okay to 'date' at your age. Lots of 14 year olds date, it's part of life. Sure it gets better when you're older, when you can actually have a boy come pick you up and take you out, but the main reason of dating is to figure out what kind of guy you like. The kind of person you could see yourself with in the long run. Believe me, you'll go through alot before meeting the right one. Sex should not be an option until you're older and sure. But there's nothing wrong with getting to know guys around you by 'dating' now.

Answer 3

For one thing, my sister, you have a brilliant mind and you know yourself better than anyone else. It's just the way people are. They think that at the age of 14, you should have had some kind of relationship by now - but you are okay not having one. I really can't blame you. At 14, your mind should be on school, church activities, community and social events, reading, enjoying whatever your gifts and talents might be. You have so much time for boys. One good thing is this - when you are ready to date - you will know. I was 17 before I actually 'dated'. My mom would allow us to travel in groups (church members) and friends parents that she knew. We didn't run wild and hit the streets like kids do today. My sister and I was into our music (piano lessons) and dance, reading all the books we could get our hands on, drawing, painting, playing with our dolls, and just being kids. I was a little naive when I started to date, but my mother kept us close and was very 'hands on' and I am so thankful that she was. You have a good head on your shoulders. Just tell the askers that you don't date. Let them look funny - walk away with a smile on your face.

Answer 4

In a lot of cases guys ask because they're interested but they want to make sure you're available before asking you out. Their resultant shock could simply be because so many young people date these days. Honestly, I didn't start dating until I was 18, not by choice, either. I always wanted to have a BF because everyone else did. But after I grew up and actually started dating I realized I wouldn't have been ready for it any earlier. So, if your feeling is that you want to wait, go for it. Learn to be a happy, whole, confident person in your own right and once you've got yourself figured out a little more not only can you enjoy relationships more fully but you can be a much better partner for whatever lucky guy you decide to date. At least that's my experience. Good luck!

Answer 5

It's non of their business and if they get nosy and ask you questions tell them so...I'm a grown woman - and take this advice and use it while your still young. Make the boys think lots of boys are after you. They are mostly shocked because your so pretty and they just can't understand how you stayed single all the way up to 14 years! It's a compliment. You could lie and say boys are always bothering you to go out with them - but you have a life and you focused. That is called Reverse Psychology - it will make the boys be even more interested in you. Trust me it works.

Oh, and if you really want to drive the boys wild, be Happy, Be funny, be yourself and be MEAN once in a while. Yes, you heard me right. Boys go crazy for mean girls.

Answer 6

I also get asked this a lot and in a lot of the same scenarios you've described... except I'm 22 and have pretty much given up on the idea of dating. I have found it best to tell people that I'm a Jedi and don't date outside my religion. This serves three very useful purposes: 1) it informs them that Jedi is a religion, 2) it throws them for a loop and 3) It makes them realize how stupid their question is.

But as to why people ask... no clue. I've been trying to figure that one out for almost a decade and I've gotten nowhere.

Answer 7

Guys that age don't have anything important to think about, so that is what they'll ask you. Don't worry about not having a bf though, my first real bf was at 19. Maybe they're surprised because you have a great personality, or at that age, they just think you're hot... Guys don't really grow up at 17 either, so you'll probably find the same reaction when you're at that age...

Answer 8

I think you have a very good head on your shoulders about asking your question in this section and also on waiting to do the bf thing until you are older.

Perhaps the people you meet think you are older because of your mature thinking or perhaps because of generalities that many young women your age are already in into the dating scene. Personally, I think that the sooner guys and girls start committing to the bf/gf thing they get into trouble with the emotions and not mature enough to know when they may have gone farther than they wanted to.

Answer 9

I'd consider it a compliment. They probably find you attractive and it's hard for them to believe that you haven't been in a relationship yet. In today's age tons of kids your age are already dating, like it's some kind of fad. To me that just proves they're not ready to be in a real relationship if they are thinking that casually about it.

I think it's a shame that there's that much pressure to be dating at your age. Don't let them get to you. You seem like you 're very mature for your age, and I agree that relationships as you get older are worth waiting for. Suddenly you'll find a guy who won't be surprised he's the only guy you've dated. He'll just feel lucky =)

Answer 10

They act suprised because few people have the moral integrity to stand by a principle that they believe in rather than jsut doing what everyone else is doing.

BTW keep it up. I really don't believe in dating, but rather the concept of courting. You really are just trying to find the one Man that you can spend a whole life with and share your whole being with. Taking that attitude will help you to avoid: heartache, STD's, and number of other things.

Wish there were more like you.

Answer 11

They ask you that because they are interested in you, and they act surprised because you are pretty and they find it hard to believe that you haven't really dated yet. It's a compliment. Good job choosing to wait until you are more mature and can make better choices than the 12 year olds out having sex.