how do you help a friend who won't help themselves?

Question

i have a friend (an ex-boyfriend) who is going through a rough time (and always seems to be going through a rough time). since we recently broke up this summer, it is hard for me to be there for him (heck he barely let close while we were dating). he never asks for helps, and relies on strangers and girls that use him (shallow relationships) to give his life happiness. me (along with his 2 other good friends) would help him out in a heart beat, but he won't let us. he's depressed, but he won't do anything about it. he's lonely, but he won't find a friend. the trend continues into every aspect of his life and it frustraits the hell out of me! i want to be there for him, i want to see him happy, but he will not take control of anything in his life. what do i do? he means alot to me, and i wish he would be there for me in return, let alone help himself...but he will not even try. is there anything i can do? am i just suppose to sit by and watch him crash and burn? help!

Answer 1

Sorry sweetie but you cant help someone who doesnt want help its a never ending battle...

Answer 2

Have you ever heard of tough love? That is the only thing that you can do...He is sabotoging his own happiness for some reason and that is his issue. There is nothing you can do about it. If you want to continue to be there for him, then do so, and when he asks for your help, then be there. You have to move on and worry about your own happiness and life. I understand that it is frustrating to see what a person is doing to themselves, even when they can't, but it happens.

Tell him you will be there, but you can not continue to watch him hurt himself the way he does and if he wants you as a friend, he knows where to find you.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Have you tried getting him to see a doctor? There could be a medical reason for his problems.

However, unless he wakes up and comes to his senses there is nothing you can do to help him. Sorry.