Would you forgive and keep your spouse, after finding out they were with a prostitute?

Question

It is amazing that the wife of this current politico is on camera tonight saying she is forgiving and keeping him. I'm wondering what kind of marriage remains?

Answer 1

It's hard to say. There are a lot of variables in the question you've posed. For instance, what if the cheating spouse visited prostitutes, (even if habitually and numerously), before marriage and the truth comes out after years of a solid monogamous relationship? Or perhaps there is a physical distance that may have caused unfaithfulness like military service, for instance. Even a physical or emotional barrier, such as physical deformity, an accident causing severe physical trauma, or a sexual psychological barrier might drive a spouse to seek sexual gratification elsewhere.

I feel the motive and intent of the infidelity are more at the root of the problem than the act itself. If the solicitation of the prostitute was done out of hate, revenge, or any malicious intent, it would be very difficult to forgive and move on in the relationship. Conversely, there might be another force at work in the marriage causing sexual stagnation. A problem like this might be resolved in counseling and totally open conversation with honesty.

There are no hard yes or no, right or wrong answers to what you're asking. It depends on the personal situation, and the damage done to the individuals involved. Only through, understanding, careful examination, and forgiveness can a problem like this be resolved.

Answer 2

Yes, but I would be angry with the lie. Or, the failing to ever mention it, whichever. I would forgive him and I actually did forgive him for it. I was disgusted to no end, especially because, without details, we aren't talking about a one time shot. However, there was no question that it would never happen again, so I didn't have that to consider. I don't regret forgiving but I had a hard time forgetting for a lot of years. He's a good man, it was a serious error in judgement on his part. It was also before we were married.

Answer 3

Under the right circumstances, such an experience MIGHT strengthen the marriage, if it can survive.

The experiencing of real forgiveness (if it's offered) of such magnitude, if the contrition is truly sincere and penitent, might drive the two people together even more than if it hadn't happened.

Odds are, it won't...but it's possible.

I was ready to forgive my ex when she walked out on me.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be able to do it, but I would never cheat on anybody, so I know I deserve better than a cheating spouse.... especially if they paid money! c'mon that hurts even more, yikes. Plus it would always be in the back of my head, I don't know how anybody can forgive and forget that.