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He has two dads and it makes me uncomfortable(theyre not preverted or anything). He keeps inviting me over to his house to hang out at the pool and play video games and stuff. I want to hand out with him but I dont want to be by his dads. How can I do this w/o sounding like an ignorant homophob?

2007-07-16 11:34:28 · 41 answers · asked by Christine B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

41 answers

Already sounds like your a homophobe.

2007-07-16 11:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by JB 3 · 12 6

Well, I think the biggest problem is that this is just a new situation for you. If I were you, I would agree to go over on a day where you have something else going on later in the day. That way you aren't there for an indefinate amount of time. If it really creeps you out, you have an out and you aren't lying. I think if just spend some time there, you will see that they are people too and there really isn't much of a difference from other families. Also, when friends come over to your house, how much time do your parents spend hanging out with you? You probably won't see much of his dads when you hang out with your friend. If after a few times you are still uncomfortable, you should talk to your friend. I am sure he has heard it before and he might be able to give you a new perspective on the situation. Good luck.

2007-07-16 12:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Krista 3 · 0 0

Well, first figure out what about it makes you uncomfortable. is it that you think something might happen? Like they will be watching you in the pool? Or is it because its just a new and different situation and you don't know how to handle it? If you like this kid as a friend, then why don't you suggest hanging out at a neutral spot like a park, mall, another friends, etc. My initial response would be to try and go there a few times and eventually you won't feel so awkward. However, I know that some people have a lot more trouble with this then others. so if you can, try it out. Just don't penalize him for the situation he was dealt. It would be a shame to lose a friend over this.

2007-07-16 11:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by stardust12081 3 · 2 0

If you really like this person and want to keep a friend you need to be honest with him. If you have already been to his place and tried working through your discomfort level then tell him why you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes people don't like being around gay people because they are not sure what it is all about and perhaps they have even been given a twisted version of what gay people are like and what they do to "innocents" ...these thoughts can make it more difficult for you to have an open mind and try to get to know your friends parents. You will have to decide if it is worth a little discomfort to keep a friend or not. You need to try to understand what makes you uncomfortable and address that with your friend. If you give it a fair shot and keep and open mind and still find the situation uncomfortable then let your friend know you feel bad that YOU have the problem being with his folks and you hope he will try to understand and still be friends. On the other hand if his folks are doing something directly to you then you need to let your friend know that too. Don't let your imagination overpower your good sense...hope you can find a happy solution for all.

2007-07-16 11:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by LEC 4 · 0 0

It's normal to not be comfortable around things that you aren't used to. Don't let anyone tell you that it's wrong not to feel comfortable around them, because you can't help the way that you feel. What I would suggest would be just to keep going over there and hanging out and you will realize that they are just normal people. You'll eventually get used to seeing them together, you just have to put yourself in that position. If it really makes you seriously uncomfortable than the only thing you can do is not go there anymore, and instead invite your friend over to your place or suggest mutual territory like a skate park or something.

2007-07-16 11:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by ChisseyGuwel 3 · 0 0

well, ill just say this.... my best friends dad was gay, and when i was younger i felt weird, but as i grew up i realized its just natural. and i am just wondering why this makes you uncomfortable? i know alot of guys are homophobic cuz they dont want to be hit on by another man, but u have to think like this..... does EVERY girl want you? no. so neither does every guy. guys have certain preferences as well. im not sure if thats why it makes u uncomfortable, but i do know, the more u go around them the more comfortable you will get....eventually.

2007-07-16 11:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Hi, I just couldn't resist answering this one. I am a lesbian and me and my partner have been together for nearly 7 years. My partners daughter has decided that its time to start having her mum around and, to our utter delight, has moved in with us. I know its awkward, and her friends come round and hover like we are aliens. I think the best thing to do is feel honored that you have been invited round, that's a big step of acceptance for your friend, imagine how hard it must be for him. Also I am sure his dads will know that you feel uncomfortable and will respond appropriately. Just because they are gay doesn't mean they are going to sit snogging or anything. We are humans too. You sound like you might have a few issues yourself, maybe you weren't brought up to be accepting. Just get over your self and be a friend. Also, just to add to PAMMALAMMA, you referred to your profile, there seems to be nothing there to suggest you disagree with homosexuality, I am a practicing Christian too. Open your eyes people.

2007-07-16 12:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by mrstaz147 1 · 1 0

their still people, they might be gay but its not like they are gonna touch you or do other uncomfortable things to you cause your a guy...my family is close friends with another family that has two moms and they are great people. they don't do any thing freaky or stuff that makes the people around them uncomfortable. and i don't know about you but when i go to a friends house i hang out with my friend, not their parents

2007-07-16 12:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hmm, howabout NOT being an ignorant homophobe and just going to hang out with your friend the same way you would with a friend of yours who's parent's are straight. It's not difficult, really.

2007-07-17 07:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Fersureee 5 · 0 0

At first you may be a little uncomfortable being around them, but later you'll find out there's nothing to worry about. Invite your friend over to your house instead.

I know a few homosexuals and they are all nice people.

But trust your instincts, if you feel intimidated at all by them, tell your parents.

2007-07-16 11:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by ☼LaVieBoheme☼ 2 · 0 1

My mom is gay and this is what I tell people when they come over if they are uncomfortable. I ask if they are uncomfortable around their other friends dads and if they have ever been hit on by one of them. Then I ask why do they assume that just because my mom is gay that she will hit on you. It is ridiculous to think that just because his dads are gay that they are going to hit on you. Why are you uncomfortable with his dads but not your friends moms?

2007-07-16 12:01:30 · answer #11 · answered by Sam B 5 · 0 0

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