What helpful piece of wisdom/advice can you offer newlyweds?

Question

They say that 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. That statistic not only scares me, but makes me sad. How can a couple beat the odd and succeed in a happy and peaceful marriage? Seeking wise counsel from those who have been there/done that is always a good place to start. I eagerly await for all the perils of wisdom to come pouring in!! Thanks so much!

Answer 1

ive been married for 12 and have been through every single good & bad thing seriously i should write a book wich iam thanks to everyone that has seen us all we had been through i gives us a wow specially 4 being a military marriage i know u may think i probably dont have that much of source but we have this rules at our house

RULES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
1. never both be angry at the same time
2. never yell at each other unless the house is on fire
3. if one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate
4. if you have to criticize, do it lovingly
5. never bring out the mistakes of the past
6. neglect the whole world rather than each other
7. never go to sleep with an argument unsettled
8. at least once each day say a kind or complimentary to your life's partner
9. when you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness
10. it takes two to make a quarrel and the one in the wrong usually does most of the talking

Answer 2

Don't be selfish. If you both try to think of the other first and always, you end up happier because you are focusing so much on the other person's happiness.

Keep making love and going out alone together on a regular basis once you have children. That can be tricky but is really important.

Remember that you are NOT a SITCOM FAMILY. Sometimes you'll be having a discussion or an argument and a really funny or clever comeback comes to mind. But you are not on a sitcom, and jokes or comments at other people's expense tend to cut deeply and come back to haunt you later. Mutual humor about life situations, on the other hand, can help you through a lot of life's challenges.

Answer 3

The best advise I can give you is to communicate, I guess i say that because i married a man in the marines and they are stubbern at times.. lol but anyway.. when yall are haveing an arguement try not to yell and scream at each other but talk normaly to one another it helps trust me.. do not got to bed angry it just makes things worse in the morning.. and a big one for me was i bottled everything that was bugging me inside dont cause eventually you will explode at your spouse. I got married at the age of 18 and that advice has helped me alot we have been married now for 5 years.. ( i know that dont seem long but it is to me) and its always good to keep the sex life active..and you will both need your space at times so let him go and hang with the guys and you go hang with the girls or something.. and if ever in a disagreement respond will real responces not yea huha whatever, for me it tends to do more harm then good..i have found all this out on my own and maybe if there were yahoo answers 5 yeas ago maybe i could have gotten some answers like this and my marriage wouldnt have went through the rocky path it was on 4 years ago.. but when i grew up and learn that it was more then just loving the other person and you had to work at it and grow with the other person we started getting better.. and now 5 years 2 kids this are going great and i couldnt be happier unless i was having another baby..

Answer 4

well congragulations. marriage is so special and when its good you feel like nothing can go wron. i have been married for four years so i am still kind of a newly wed well not so much any more but new enough lol. what i have found is communication is so big and marriage i actually took a listening class in college and it helped my marriage immensly you know alot of people dont know how to truly listen. dont innterrupt when the other person is talking. look at them in their eyes and know what they are saying. next make sure to keep your love and romance alive dont let it die dont always wait for the other person to due the romancing it works both ways. and finally my biggest advice is things are going to happen and it might put a toll on your marriage. if you really love eachother you can talk it out and work through it dont ever give up. my husband and i have been through so ooooo much and though we were not going to make it. but we all ways work things out and i remember how much i love him. and if things get really tough go on a little trip away from him for a couple of days visit family and it will remind you how much you love eachother and that you cant live without each other.

Answer 5

Stay honest with each other, DO NOT let anyone else into your bedroom, Never Lie to each other, Don't fight about trivial things like the scent of your air freshener( and other stupid things ), Never let any one know any private things about your spouse, Don't fight about money, If he wants to play video games, let him. , Don't blame him for things that are not his fault, Keep telling him that you love him 1,000 times a day, always let him know that he still ROCKS YOUR WORLD, Just keep him happy in the bedroom and don't abuse him. A man who is abused takes a VERY long time to gain back his pride. And last but never least, Don't mess around on him. Best of Luck to you and your baby. Hope you don't end up a statistic.
Been together for ten yrs, lived together for 6 and been married for four. Still have the fireworks and all the rest.

Answer 6

First and foremost, learn how to resolve conflict and express anger in a constructive way. There are books and classes that do this. If you bury anger and don't deal with it, or if you develop destructive patterns of arguing and expressing, you'll be in trouble in less than 10 years.
The constructive rules are too long to list here but there are books and classes about anger management and communication skills lots of places.

Best wishes and good luck.

Answer 7

This is going to sound a bit cliche' but it is true. Never go to bed mad. Always communicate open and honestly. Don't ever put anyone's feelings before your spouses.(Well, atleast until you have kids any how). Learn to compromise, meet in the middle, no one should have total control. Stay optimistic, remember why you fell in love. Never take each other for granted. If your spouse is upset, no matter how trivial it seems to YOU, be a comfort to them. Don't hide things, admit your mistakes, talk to your spouse like you would your best friend because in all reality, they should be just that!

Answer 8

Never say you want a divorce just because your mad. Never say things that are harmful in an argument just to hurt each others feeling. Make sure you lay out a plan for who pays for what (meaning bills). Most divorces happen over money and cheating. Make sure you two make time for each other but still have a life outside of each other. Never tell your friends the bad with out the good. And the old saying is true never go to bed angry because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.

Answer 9

Remember why you did it. There will come a time when your going to ask yourself why did I do it or what if I never did it. If you start to let those negative thoughts make a home in your brain your marriage is over. Just always remember that you married her/him for the fact that you love then so much. For the fact that they are the ying to your yang. The fact that they have the key to your heart and so on. Never lose focus of why that person is now your spouse and not you girlfiend /boyfriend. It takes two to make a marriage work so make sure you do your part and everything will fall into place.

Answer 10

marriage is a 50/50 chance it will last for ever or divorce. Striving for the same goals are important, communicating, not letting friends get involve in your personal business. Alot of self discipline to where workers can invite to parties, after work, you know. Money is also an evil issue to deal with, remember marriage is a partnership until death, divorce.