What do you think of my poem?

Question

Okay, I HAD to write an ode on anything that I wanted to write it on. I chose the season, summer. Mainly because it has a lot of things that could be described and because it's summer right now. While writing this, I realized that I am not good at odes...lol...so, tell me what you think and what can I change?

I'm 14, btw....if that makes any difference...lol....and I get writer's block, especially when I have a topic thrown at me.

=]

xoxo,
♥

Thanks!

Ode to Summer:

Ode to summer,
You’re my favorite time of the year.
Except when the humidity
Is too much to bear.

When you’re around,
It’s warm enough to swim
And lay on the beach
And bright green leaves
Cover each tree.

I love you, summer,
When I don’t have to think twice
About buying ice cream or water ice.

When your time comes,
People can switch to flip-flops and shorts
And go outside
To play their favorite sport

I love you, summer,
Where I can show off my toes
But one thing I hate
Is the bees and mosquitoes

Summer, you are fun,
Amusement parks with thrill rides
And there’s always time to go for a bike ride.

Summer, you go too fast
August then September,
Then, right back to the frigid winter.

Answer 1

it's nice but I'm not really in love w/ it... try another one but if u love it, that's great...

u do have a gift, don't give it up...

Answer 2

okay, well, for starters, you get points for trying...not many, but some.

First you need to examine the anatomy of an "ode". Every line must rhyme with at least one other line in the same stanza. Lines are not repeated and each stanza should follow the same rhyming pattern and form as the others.

Does your "ode" obey these rules? No. First, your lines contain different beats, and don't even use the same form. If you are going to switch between iambic and trochee, then you must do so in the same pattern for each stanza. Also, for comment ease, next time include your poem in your initial question so it is easier to jump back and forth (I don't have a printer handy at the moment).

Secondly, your lines don't rhyme. All poetry doesn't have to rhyme, but an "ode" is, by definition, a "rhyming" form of poetry. Your rhyme pattern needs to stay consistent from stanza to stanza, so do the number of lines in each stanza. If you want to do 4 line stanzas, then each successive stanza needs to be four lines. If you want to do a rhyme pattern of ababcc, then the next stanza should be dedeff for 6 line stanzas, or abab cdcd for 4 line stanzas.

So, you have the right motivation and some potentially good images...now all you have to do is start over and follow the basics so your poem at least "looks" like an "ode".

You can do this...just try again.

Answer 3

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably might desire to rhyme despite the fact that it desires to hit my thoughts. i think of readability of expression is important besides. i don't want to 2nd guess what i'm interpreting approximately. I continuously seem for what I term "poetic gem stones"interior the text textile.

Answer 4

That was an okay poem ode to summer I enjoyed it.
I am sure when you can think of another one you can
do another season. I wouldn't throw topics at you.

Answer 5

it's a nice poem!! i would write a few more and then pick my fave, but this one is already good to pick as ur fave so u might not need to do that

Answer 6

how long will poems get
before people forget
they dont even get what they wrote