we have been appart for a year and 2 months, cant get her out of my mind, still am in love yet, she wont give me the time of day anymore, says she has been single ever since we have been appart, dont know what to belive anymore can someone give me a way to get over her, or get her back, any answer is appriciated
2007-07-16 11:11:46 · 14 answers · asked by MARIO R 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
i just want the secret to stop trying to win her back, i like the answers, but i already know i should move on , the real question is how do i forget, we had been together for 14 years have two kids, does anyone have a solid answer to just move on and forget the love i still have burning in my heart?
2007-07-16 11:41:54 · update #1
You must stop and look at what has taken place and decide what is best for you, over and above your emotions. Then there are the questions of why you are apart, if any kids are involved, in-laws, religion, etc., etc., etc.
Right now the break up rate in America is 50 per cent. On top, or below that, are some old stats that say only 33 per cent who remarry will remain together. That might seem pretty good; until you add in reality.
Let me put it this way. You are three times more likely to part after a rerun then you were to begin with. My guess is, if we freshen up the stats, the odds are at least 5-1 against you. You can get those odds at any casino.
Unless you can make some elemental change in the way your relationship works all you will do, for your best efforts, is put off hurting now for hurting later.
To make an elemental change in how the relationship works; means you need to make a major, even monumental change in yourself. On top of that, you must win her despite all the negatives; while not expecting her to change.
If she is not giving you the time of day; she doesn't see anything for her in what you are presenting. As long as that is her vision, nothing is going to happen. What did she see and what did she expect to begin with? Do you really know?
You are still asking her about her personal life, which technically is not your business any more. If she doesn't see anything down the road with you; maybe you should try and see it through her eyes. What do you see for yourself?
Bottom line bud I feel for you; you are stuck and looking for someone to give you a sure direction. It's ambivalence, and your feelings are in a bind. So I go back to my original statement. What is best, down deep in your gut, for you? I'm telling you straight as I can from a been there done that!
Nice ride man. Make up you mind and put it on the road. I shouldn't say this but life is short. I remember a biker "T" shirt from hippie days. "@ss or grass, nobody rides for free." Think about it, in a way it applies to us all.
If you don't get back together and you live long enough and grow to know yourself well; you will look back and see that this problem would have been a breeze to handle. But now, as they say in Germany. "To soon old, to late smart."
2007-07-16 12:39:58 · answer #1 · answered by Tommy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2016-05-05 20:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once someone has become an EX, it is best to leave him as an EX. It is not a good thing to go back to a former spouse.
If my husband and I divorced, there is no chance that I would marry him again, because I would not settle with him ever. I will always love him though. I would not marry anyone else either, but that is because I do not believe in making my children STEP. I think that is an evil thing to do to children.
2007-07-16 11:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by Mai C 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try to take a vacation if you can. My husband and I split up in January after a VERY long, ugly separation. I was still a wreck in June when I went to Hawaii for my brother's wedding. It was very difficult because everyone was there with their significant other and I was pretty much on my own. But just getting away from my life for a little bit helped to bring me so much clarity. In addition, try to get involved in activities that will put you in touch with people who didn't know you when you were married- even close friends can trigger awful memories just by being there. (I am not saying to ditch your old friends! Just find additional ones) Honestly, I am still a mess, but I have a little more peace in my life and have come to learn that while this wasn't the life I had planned for, it can still be something wonderful someday. Good luck.
2007-07-16 11:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah (the bear!) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is hard to get over someone when they seem to be sending mixed signals. You say she wont give you the time of day, yet you also said she told you she has remained single. I do not think winning her back is going to happen. Even though she may not be seeing another man she has obviously moved on with her life without you. Life is to short to waste on regret and unhappiness. Tell yourself that the relationship you once had with your ex wife is over forever. Maybe moving or changing jobs or some other big changes in your life will make it easier to make a fresh start in the relationship department. You deserve to be happy and loved unconditionally.
2007-07-16 11:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by grtchi09 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
trying to win back my ex-wife?
we have been appart for a year and 2 months, cant get her out of my mind, still am in love yet, she wont give me the time of day anymore, says she has been single ever since we have been appart, dont know what to belive anymore can someone give me a way to get over her, or get her back, any answer...
2015-08-05 23:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The solid answer is that you CAN"T forget. You dont have a memory erasor do you? Then stop trying to make yourself forget about your love and the life you shared. It will be easier to move on when you realize that you can't forget about it and you can't make the love or the hurt stop. When that happens and you start living your life for you and not for her then you will wake up one day and realize that is doesn't hurt as much. After time it won't hurt at all. It is something that takes time. But you have to realize who you are and what you are worth and go from there.
2007-07-16 12:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by peace_by_moonlight 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on why she's your EX-wife and whether or not she's ever given you reason to think you might be able to get back together. Personally, I don't think there's much of a chance. Move on, get out there and try to start dating again.
2007-07-16 11:21:08 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/IdsI5
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-02-05 19:28:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dive into something head first that your kids will be able to enjoy while they're with you. Community theatre, kayaking, hiking, camping and many others will have the children going home to your ex with a positive image.
If your ex becomes a bit positive about your relationship with the kids, plan a big one that you leak to the kids like a trip to the Teton and Yellowstone national parks. If the kids get enthusiastic about the trip they'll tell her about it. If she asks you about the trip, ask her to go along. Theatre, would be a trip to NY for a broadway show....or if your cast in a community show and your asking her if the kids can come see you ask her to come along with the kids.
2007-07-16 13:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by Terry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋