I have been with my fella for 5 and a half years and dying to get married and have kids with him but he says he wants to wait till we are a bit older.Im 23 and he is 24.
2007-07-16 11:09:37 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it ain't broke, don't fix it!.. As long as you're both happy with each other..
2007-07-16 11:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you are living together, then get unliving together - move back to your parents house immediately. Why should he marry you if he is getting everything already without the ring and the hassle? If you are not living together then I suggest that you become a little less available to him. I tell people this all the time but if you want someone to perk up and take an interest, you actually have to put some distance and mystery in there. You need to get busy with friends and family and not just hang out with him. And finally, never ever ever mention marriage and children again. Its a terrible thing to do to a bloke. He wants to surprise you - how can he do that when you have railroaded him into it. Stop talking about it and then wait for a little while. You will probably get a proposal soon - especially if you have been busy with doing other stuff and not putting him first all the time. He needs to feel what it would be like without you sometimes! Its a nudge without words. Good luck.
2007-07-20 10:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can see why you're so anxious but he's too young. Most men like to be closer to 30 when they marry. You can either wait, break up with him and move on or request that you take some time away from each other, yet keep in touch so that when he is ready for marriage, you can get back together and see how compatible you are then! Can't pressure, persuade, lie, cheat or manipulate a man into marriage. The fact that he doesn't want to rush it shows he takes it seriously. That's an excellent trait!
2007-07-16 11:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't die...
At 23 and 24, you still have a lot of growing and changing to do. Think about it logically for a sec (it's hard, I know). But think about what each of you would bring to a marriage: income, investment, education, skills, resources...if the list is short, that could be why he wants to wait.
If, for example, you're in college or just about to graduate, it could be that he wants to get settled in a good job and start saving for a house before feeling confident enough to ask you to be his wife. It's a responsible, kind and generous reaction to a very grown-up decision.
So have a think about it, see where you are on this journey together, and have some patience for the guy. If you love each other, there's no rush.
Good luck--
2007-07-16 11:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by KD 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well talk about marriage with him. Ask him, does he see himself married to you soon? And how long does he want to wait? 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? 3?
You need to TALK to him. Tell him waiting is ok but you dont want to wait too long. Tell him how long you are willing to wait. If you want to get engaged 1 year from today than tell him that! Tell him getting engaged can be done at anytime. And then you have another whole year to plan the wedding. So if he gets engaged to you next year he will be 25. Then when you actually get married he would be 26, which is a good/typical age to get married.
Make your feelings clear. And if he doesnt propose within the time frame you tell him then 1 month before the deadline is up remind him that he has til the end of that month to propose or you are gone. And break up with him if he doesnt propose soon enough for you (by the time frame you give him).
If he really wants to be with you and not lose you then he WILL ask you to marry him within your time frame.
If he doesnt love you enough or doesnt really want to get married then he will let you go without a fight. And it meant you are better of without him!
2007-07-16 11:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by Educated 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
SORRY, BUT U CANT. u cant persuade someone to marry u, or else it wont really be a happy marriage. trust me, if it comes from his own will, no pushing, u will know that he truly does love u and wants to spend the rest of his life w u! i understand that u want to start a family together w him, but give it time, if u really love him u can wait a little longer, he is right u r very young and should give urselves time to enjoy ur youth and do things that ur gonna have to give up once married and w children!! like all those late nights at the clubs and chilling w the girls??!!
2007-07-16 11:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by janie rey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same boat, my now husband would never ask me, so i ask him, he would say what is the point it is a expence it's just a ring and a bit a paper why bother we are happy together,
so after 6 years of being with him i told him.
marry me or i will find someone who will if you love me the way i love you then do it this is what i want make me happy or get out.
we marryed 6 weeks later that was 3 years ago andare still as close as ever
kind regards and good luck x kitti x
2007-07-18 22:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by misskitti7® 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not force him into something he does not want to do, and if you do you will be setting up a disaster waiting to happen. If he were to give in to you I am sure he would resent it and always hold it against you so the first sign of difficulty he would say I told you so I am out of here. Then where would you be - probably a single mother with no place to go and cussing the father because he left you out in the cold.
2007-07-16 11:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by K K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well Jane i think he's being sensible, he's waiting because he's not ready yet, if you keep pressuring him then he's gonna get tired of it, so just leave it till he asks you....you need a foundation before you marry and have kids, so just wait till you have enough to build on before you marry and have kids, he's doing this for a good reason, you have already been together for 5 years so i am sure that a few more years won't matter....be patient
2007-07-16 23:41:02 · answer #9 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you dont want to hear this but I knew a friend who was with his girlfriend for 7 years and she was begging him to marry her. He would tell me that he doesnt want to marry her because he wants to weigh his options. He loved her but he felt like there was someone else out there that was perfect for him. As a result, he found her and married her after knowing her for only 4 months. The girl was heartborken.
I know you guys are still young, but honestly I think that if he really loved you, he would have married you already.
I would give him a deadline and if he exceeds it, move on.
2007-07-16 11:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Going to NY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if he needs persuading after all this time, then it is doomed to failure.
A marriage will only have a chance of working if both partners totally and absolutely want the marriage and love each other to the exclusion of all others.
2007-07-16 21:39:22 · answer #11 · answered by Ladyfromdrum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋