I'm 14 and recenty my parents got divorced. before they told me they said "you are the most important thing in the world to us and we want the best for you" well, i haven't been happy really. my girlfriends parents are divorced but they still live in the same house because they want to make life easier and better for her. i don't understand how they can say that they love me but still put me through all this crap. I've considered suicide a few times. my mom and dad seem really sad all the time too so i just don't understand how this is the right thing to do, for them too. can someone give me advice on how to cope with this?
2007-07-16 10:23:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thanks for the advice everyone. it really helps
2007-07-16 10:52:28 · update #1
First of all, I'm sorry this happened. I know it's hard! I don't know your parents' situation, so I'm not going to try to tell you about that, but it's a really RARE dvrcd couple who can live in the same house "for the sake of the kids." The problems that broke them up didn't disappear bcz a judge declared them "divorced."
But even more importantly is getting YOU through this time. You need to find an adult you trust that you can talk to about what's going on. Do you have a pastor, teacher, uncle, or maybe a friend's parent you'd feel comfortable talking with?
If so, please do it! If not, you could also try a school counselor. Make some connection with someone, so if you're feeling really down one day, you have someone to talk to.
Talking with your parents is a good idea as well......
"Dad (or Mom), when you _______, it makes me feel __________. I just wanted to let you know that." It's important that they know how you feel.
Journaling......writing out how you feel, just for your own benefit, can be really helpful as well.
MOST of all, please remember that you are on this planet for a purpose. Some lifework, someone you're going to help, some child YOU are going to parent, perhaps? If you were to take yourself out of the game before your time, you would rob us all of the many contributions we have to look forward to from you.
You WILL get through this time.......REALLY!!!!
{{hugs!}}
2007-07-16 10:49:56 · answer #1 · answered by mvm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have kids and got divorced last year. I can honestly tell you that you ARE the most important thing in the world to BOTH your parents. Your parents were probably very unhappy for a long time, but hid it from you. It is a very hard and stressfull choice to make and you may never know the true reason as to why they divorced. In time, things will get better. Try to talk to your parents and tell them how you are feeling. Or, if it is easier, write them a letter and ask them to respond by writing back. You will find that there are advantages to being a child of divorced parents as well. Things will get better! I promise.
2007-07-16 10:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not even think about suicide. You all get through these. You are smarter than these. Their is a book called the Battlefield of the Mind Joyce Meyer it is such a good book I would recommend that for you to read. It had been helping me alot to understand all this hurt and pain. Once you read this you will feel better. Try to talk to somebody about your feelings a clergy, a friend you can trust, or a psychologist. You needed help big time. Just do not let your parents divorce let you down. In time it will get better. Ask god for help to give you the strengh to go on. You will be alright. Keep yourself busy and be with your friends that you can trust to be with without getting in trouble. Goodluck to you. I feel for you of what you are going through right now. I am in the same boat as you are. Take care and may god bless you.
2007-07-16 10:35:52 · answer #3 · answered by leyte02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take time for you and your parents to get through this. Do you think it would help you to talk to a third party, a counselor? Maybe you could ask your mom or dad about doing that. It might help you talk through your pain and come to an understanding that this is a decision your parents made, but it does not need to be the end of your life. It sounds like a cliche, but things will eventually get better if you just hang on and keep to your routine.
2007-07-16 10:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy is your mom bitter. While yes I can understand why, it has been 10 years now and she has to let go of all her hurt and anger or else it will turn her in to a very bitter sad old lady who will miss out on lots of things. She can not dictate to you who you have stay at your home. Tell her you love her but that you also love your dad (he is your dad regardless of what went on) and you are not doing anything to intentionally hurt her. Turn it back and say that it is not fair that she is trying to make you choose as none of this is your fault so why should you be punished? I am afraid that your mom can not put all the blame on this woman either. There were three people involved - your mom dad and his new wife. Good luck, I hope things turn out good for you. Ps Would your mom really want to miss out on time with her grandchild just because of something which happened 10 years ago?
2016-05-19 04:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by luella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever think about suicide, EVER. Your life will go on. Don't take it personal, it isn't about you, it's about them. Things are so complicated that it is difficult for adults, it must be hell for you. Start looking at all the blessings in your life. Make a list, I know it sounds corny, but when you get those thoughts you can go through your list and feel better. What about living with an aunt, uncle, grandparents for a while, just until things get sorted???
2007-07-16 11:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by Nickname123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i too was a child in a divorced home, try looking at it like this, how would you like it if your father decided who your next boyfriend was going to be? imagine being stuck with someone that you didn't like anymore but you cant break up because your parents like him, this is the outlook that most kids have when they deal with their parents divorce, they only see it from their point of view, and i understand that, it seams like your world is crumbling around you and its hard to be brave and see the bigger picture, but believe me you will get through this, and in time you will have a hard time remembering what it was like before the divorce, love your parents, both of them, but part of loving them is respecting their decisions, be breve and be strong its not the end of the world
2007-07-16 10:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by eyesinthedrk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents are divorced too
i get mad but sometimes i think wont it be better having them fight all day all night than them splitting up and not yell day and night or tell them to talk to eachother and so they are at least friends and im sure your parents love you
2007-07-16 10:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by pheebster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents really do want what is best for you but they deserve a chance at happiness, also.
2007-07-16 10:59:46 · answer #9 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋