women, men and porn?

Question

why is that men and women react differently to porn?

men seem to view it as nochalant, no big deal.

women seem to have a problem with men watching porn
why?
is it low self esteem, and getting jealous over the women in the porn? do we secretly want to be those women?
it is just interesting that men and women see it differently.

Answer 1

I like porn now. But I didn't up until about a year ago. I think it had to do with all the taboos we put on ourselves and those around us. Good girls dont look at that, good girls wouldnt do that.....its really a shame.

Now that I have learned to loosen up a little, I found I actually enjoy alot of things I could have been doing/ using. All that wasted time because of how we cannot talk about this sort of thing without being put down.

Answer 2

You're right, it is interesting to see the difference. However, not all women react that way. Having seen many similar debates on here, and in talking with others, a great number of women see 'porn' in the same way a male usually does...as 'entertainment.' Since different people find different things entertaining, I guess it boils down to what interests 'you.' To take it so seriously as to feel threatened by it...I don't get it. My wife has no problem watching the odd porn flick, it's good for a few laughs if nothing else. As a tool to 'set the mood' a decent (yes, they are hard to find..LOL!) porn flick can prove to be a useful adjunct. Just don't take it so seriously...as with any form of fiction.

and ..uh...btw...I have no problem with her going out for a girl's night at a male strip show. She's coming home to me...

Answer 3

My girlfriend and I look at porn together all the time. It's a great way to get in the mood for sex. She doesn't mind if I fantasize about the porn stars when on my own, either. It allows me to experience my desires in a way, without going out and doing it in the form of cheating. Plus, she understands that it's not like I would ever have the chance of actually having sex with those actresses. Porn is a great way to stay sexually healthy and enhance a relationship. The same goes for sex toys, both during sex or solo masturbation. Saying that one is okay, and not the other, is a double standard. As for the person who said sex toys and masturbation aren't okay in a relationship: a huge majority of dating/married couples continue to masturbate, even when receiving regular sex. Having some alone time to get intimate with yourself and fantasize is perfectly normal and doesn't at all hurt the relationship. If I wasn't able to fantasize, I might get tired of having sex with my girlfriend every day (bad for the relationship), or might want to find somebody else so that I could relieve the tension created by my desires (especially ones that she is unable or unwilling to fulfill). Those desires don't just magically go away.

Answer 4

Ya, it is interesting how we see it so differently, it's wierd because sometimes i'll watch it, but then when he does i get kinda upset, kinda a double standard, that's really not right, it may be low self esteem, i mean, i feel pretty good about myself, but when i know my hubbys watching porn, i know most of the woman on there are air brushed and have big chest and i do get kinda jelous, because i don't look all perfect and pretty like that, so ya, it's low self esteem and low confidence, i dont' want to be those woman, no...i may want some of there physical features, ya, but i don't want to be the woman in the video, i'd make one with my hubby but not get into porn like that....i dont' know exactley what it is that makes us have a promblem with it, i guess we think they shouldn't be watching it if we were good enough....

Answer 5

Not in our house. About two years after we moved in together, my boyfriend (now husband) left his porn out on top of the DVD player. I didn't even realize he had it. I mean, I do the laundry, change the sheets, where did he hide it? So I asked him non-confrontationally. He was nervous about "getting caught".

It was one of the best nights we've had together.

Ever since then, though, whenever he gets a new one (he's only gotten about one new one a year), he lets me know, and we share a night together.

I think me telling him it wasn't taboo made it less exciting, so he doesn't turn to it as often as I hear other guys do.

As far as the girls I see on there, I know I don't look like that, nor will I. I've had three children and sport a C-section scar. Our twins are 10 mos old-I don't have time to wax every piece of stray hair. I don't have time to sit outside and make sure I don't have tan lines. But when my husband is with me at night and traces a finger over my stretch marks before he kisses them, I remember he didn't marry those girls. He didn't marry a model, or a Barbie, or an Amazonian descendant. He married me,. He loves me.

He just likes to look at (other) boobs sometimes.

Answer 6

From the very beginning, my wife and I have always enjoyed erotica (that's the proper term, btw).

She has her particular tastes and turn-ons and I have mine, but we've always been able to find material that works for us both.


Too often, a woman's reaction to their partner enjoying erotica is one of offense; their sexual identity is somehow threatened; believing that their partner's arousal and satisfaction should come exclusively from their vagina/mouth/hand. That is sad.

There are men in this world that are totally threatened by women's sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc.), feeling that a woman (their wife, gf) should receive pleasure only from THEM. That is just pathetic. They have some serious self-image/penis issues to deal with.

Women should take note that there is a very successful series of erotic anthologies called "Herotica." The stories are all written by female authors - not male!

The latest estimates are that Americans now spend somewhere around $10 billion a year on adult entertainment, which is as much as they spend attending professional sporting events, buying music or going out to the movies.

There are well over 800 million rentals of adult videotapes and DVDs in video stores across the country, and that's not 800 guys renting a million tapes each.

Answer 7

I think most women at heart still view sex and love as the same thing. Porn bastardizes that because it is not what we were told as little girls love looked like. There are no princes in porn.

Answer 8

I Love Porn. I'm a Girl. End Of Story. **** What Any Other Female Thinks. If A Guy Wants 2 Play wiff himself to some hot big titty bitches, fine by me, as long as I can watch. =]

Answer 9

I think for some women, its jealousy (which would stem from low self esteem)
some, its some sort of morality thing (passing judgment onto others)
I really don't get it. I enjoy porn...makes me horny.

Answer 10

Wonder if these same men who view porn nonchalant would act the same way if their wife's or girlfriend's wanted to go see male strippers.