What is the proper etiquette when you receive "goodbye money" before leaving Japan?

Question

This may be best answered by a Japanese native or someone who is currently living in Japan.

While living in Japan, before moving back for good or before going on a long trip somewhere else, sometimes friends and co-workers will give you what I have come to understand as "goodbye money."

I have heard that it is proper etiquette to give back half of this amount to the giver.

How and when are you supposed to do this? Before you leave? While you are away? When you come back, if ever?

Answer 1

goodbye money.... good naming!!

goodbye money means 'senbetsu'
there are two type of 'senbetsu'

'senbetsu' 1
when you move to a new house or go back to your country.
(you never come back same place)
you just receive and say 'thank you very much. im not gonna forget you.... 'or something.

'senbetsu' 2
when you're going on a long trip
(you'll back later and see her/him again)
you receive money and of course say 'thank you....'
and when you come back from your trip you have to give her/him some present. you have to buy something during your trip. if she/he gives you 5,000yen you have to use at least 800yen. 1,000yen is best. not so cheap not so expensive.
some people dont buy anything but kinda childish.


and one more thing!
somebody wrote
'give back approx. half of the money'
but that's 'KOUDEN', not good bye money...
'kouden' is a money offering to the departed soul / condolence money
when you recive money as 'kouden' you have to give a present(=koudengaesi : a present in return for a monetary offering to the deceased person)
present must be half of the money.

Answer 2

I think what you heard is correct -- give back approx. half of the money. But not in cash! If you are going on a trip and coming back, you'd bring back omiyage that's worth about half of that. So, say my MIL gives me 10,000. I'd bring back about $40 worth of Corelle ware for her kitchen.

It's trickier when you *aren't* coming back, but you still want to maintain good relations. Do you count the postage? You could buy gift certificates for half the amount, then mail it when you get back home. Or, choose something really light, and eat the postage. I mean, you are still getting free money, right?

Hope that helps. I've lived in Japan for more than 15 years.

Answer 3

I'm a native Japanese man. That's called "senbetu" in Japanese.

Basically, You do not have to return any amount after you receievd senbetu. Just say your thank you by email or postcard.

Trust me this is true.

Actually, the above is true for the case 1 in the answer of askawow47.

For the case 2, what she says is right. It's better for you to buy something as a souvenir and return it to someone who gave you senbetu.

So I think her answer is more complete.

Answer 4

If you wanted you could leave now, as for myself I like to leave a few days before my visa ends just in case

Answer 5

thats my question basicly