I have been dating the same man for eight years we live together and we have shared some of the most important moments of our lives together. However, he still has not asked me to marry him. My dad jokes saying "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" is there some truth to this statement. What is wrong and how can I speed up the process?
2007-07-16 05:12:31 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is definately truth to the saying. -You and your boyfriend have already made the commitments that married couples make. -For a man to be with you for eight years and not even concept the notion that you want to be married is rediculous. -The best thing to do is talk to him. Be settle but be insistant. Lie down Bridle magazines around the house to get him to open his eyes. Drag him along to weddings and have talk with him that has something about marriage in it. -If you really want to marry this man, you should get on the ball and do what it takes to marry him.
2007-07-16 05:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by monmonth. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but in your case your dad is absolutely correct. You're living with the man, and probably acting as though you are married. He still has that "out" if he so chooses when you have an argument or whatever. Why would he want to change that?
Show yourself some respect. Eight years is a long time to be dating and living together without any talk of making it permanent. Sit down and talk with him. Tell him you want more than just a live in boyfriend and ask him to step up to it.
2007-07-16 05:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys should have been married by now??? Ask him if there any problems in the relationship. There is some truth to that statement. Your father is pointing out that since you two already live together and share important things in you lives why marry? Your boyfriend is probably thinking that the relationship is good so why ruin it. He's stuck in his ways and needs a push in the direction of marriage. talk to him and let him know that you love him and you cant be without him. let him know that you want a family and that you want to be his wife. Maybe he thinks that you don't want to get married. It's about communicating. talk to each other or there will be worser problems in the future.
2007-07-16 05:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by vanillaswril 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he have to "give you the farm" just because you've been together or eight years. People change after that piece of paper that says marriage certificate comes into play. Ask yourself if you want that. Don't be a fool. If you are happy then let it go. Don't screw up a good thing by throwing marriage in the mix. Marriage is an outdated institution.
2007-07-16 05:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by Carp 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. I think your denial is strong. When you give something for free, a normal person will thank you and be grateful. However, after the second or third time, it is expected and being grateful often turns to demanding.
The real problem is likely this. Can you face being alone? Often, people cannot handle being single and alone. They make wrong decisions in response to that weakness.
The only process you need to speed up is move on with your life.
2007-07-16 05:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by Randy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight years is an awfully long time to patiently await a marriage proposal. If you truly want to take the next step in your relationship and get married, you need to talk to him about it. Make it clear that you would like to be married and see what his response is. Maybe marriage is a big deal to you, maybe not. If it is, I would suggest that you make it clear to him that if you are not engaged/married by a certain date...you intend to move on with your life. If it is not a deal breaker, then don't press the issue. In my opinion, if the man has not asked you to be his wife by now....he probably isn't going to.
2007-07-16 05:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If marriage is important to you, then discuss it with this man. If you've been together 8 yrs, you should have no problem discussing such topics as marriage, kids, etc (any of the "serious" stuff).
I don't think your father using an outdated cliche' that compares you to a cow is appropriate either...that saying implies that the only reason to marry is for sex. If that's the case, why tie yourself to somone legally just to get laid?
2007-07-16 05:19:46 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
everything's perfect already !
In his mind what does he need rings, dresses , Cake and a huge credit card bill to do what he's doing already !
U shouldn't take ur dad's comment as a JOKE! UR GETTIN MILKED . MOOOOOOO!
LMAO !! SORRY I couldn't resist !
This is make or break time.... tell him how U feel after 8 years he should understand U if a marriage would make u happy he should want U happy ! Tell Him to GET ON WIT IT ... LET'S DO THE DAMN THING!! :)
2007-07-16 05:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by NOLA GURL!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He already got the best out of you with minimum effort, so why putting the effort now?
Sorry darling, but your dad is right.
How to speed up the process? You have to options:
1- Propose to him yourself (you have nothing to lose)
or
2- Move out and give him an ultimatum
If you stay without saying anything, he will keep on assuming that your arrangement is fine with you. Be honest and tell him that it's time to seal the deal. You deserve it.
Good luck
2007-07-16 05:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's too satisfied. Give him an ultimatum. I know a girl who gave her boyfriend of 8 years an ultimatum and she left him because he said he'd never commit. Your dad is right unfortunately so if you keep the status quo you'll never get married. Give him an ultimatum. If he still refuses, leave him until he comes around. If he still doesn't you can find a man who will commit.
2007-07-16 05:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋