Weird sleep sex?? Someone help??!?

Question

I am recently married to my husband whom i adore and am very attracted to, I believe he feels the same way. We dated for about 5 years before we married and have always had a good to normal sex life, i trust him and have never suspected him of cheating. i recently found out i was pregnant and my husband is thrilled. Our lovemaking has slowed down a bit understandibly. My question is lately he has been waking me up in the middle of the night to have sex, but he is alseep at the time! He doesnt even remember in the morning. He is never violent, mostly playful but very aggresive,it hurts my feelings that he isnt as into it in the waking hours. This has never happned before and seems to have started around when i got pregnant. Should i be nervous, he has been very stressed lately and works a million hours to save money for the baby, and has been fixing our house on the weekends, he has been drinking a lot more lately which i have been letting go because he is with friends.What do i do??

This our first child. I have been trying to give him *favors* when he gets home but he's not interested, I cook for him and make his lunch everyday, he's just distant a lot lately.

Answer 1

and your problem is?

Answer 2

Well, sleep sex is definitely not weird. My hubby does it from time to time and he doesn't remember anything. It's never forced or violent and I'm never uncomfortable. He does it when he has a lot on his mind, or when he's been putting in extra hours of work. When he does it, I'll always ask if he remembers what happened the night before and he laughs because he doesn't remember anything. At first I thought he was playing, but he was telling the truth. He really didn't remember what he did or said. And girl the things that he would say would dry me crazy (in a goood way)!!! I'm use to it now, so when he does it I just received him as if he is alert. So if it bothers you tell him, and if it doesn't you should still express it to him. Maybe he's drinking because of the excitement of the baby. Keep an eye on that. Don't let it get too carried away. Don't be alarm, he's okay!!!! You'll get use to the "sleep sex"!!!! I did!!!! BEST HOPES AND WISHES!!!

Answer 3

That is the oddest thing. The only thing I can think of is that he thinks that he must curtail his desire and be more gentle with you now that you are pregnant so in his subconscious, he's getting what he won't allow himself to want while he's conscious. Can I tell you that NOTHING is further from the truth? The more you get into your pregnancy the more you will see how HORNY you will be. You'll be wanting it all the time, trust me! This first trimester will take it's toll a bit, but after the third month, he better watch out. Please explain to him that he doesn't have to cut back his desires. Get the book called "what to expect when you're expecting" it's a life saver. Most OBGYNs give it out free to their patients, but you can get it in the store too. Take him to your doctor visits so he can walk through the process with you. Encourage him to ask questions about your lovemaking. If you have a healthy stress-free pregnancy, there is no reason you two can't continue to enjoy each other. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 4

I think it's normal. He doesn't want to hurt you or may be unsure of having sex while you're pregnant. In waking life he doesn't know how to approach this and may be uncomfortable. Is this your first baby together? He still thinks about you as a hot sex kitten, because he's trying to initiate sex while he's dreaming of you. If you really want to have sex, you should go to barnes and nobles or your library. Find books on pregnancy and any information on how to have sex and what the doctors recommend. Being able to be more intimate may put his mind at ease. Also.. if he's working that hard and stressing out, you 2 need to go do something. Go for a drive or figure out how you can have 1 day (every once in awhile) to go be together. All that pressure with only alcohol and zany work hours... doesn't sound like a good combination.

Answer 5

First of all, I have never heard of a man that can repeatedly makes love to his wife while being asleep and never remember anything about it. However I will make a remark to the rest of it. This man must slow down. There is no other way. Let me try to explain it here: For my entire life, my father tried drilling a couple things through my head. Only now at over 50 are they becomming 100% accurate. I should have listened all along. These two things are:
That there are two ways of working to accomplish the same things. A) Very hard work, or B) Very smart work. Now to try and decide which of these ways to get the job done, you must remember this: Look out your window. See that car that you drive sitting out there? What happens to it if you run it too fast, don't change the oil or are otherwise hard on it? Right. It breaks down. Your body is absolutely no different than that machine. If you run it too hard, then it will begin breaking down. It's a fine tuned machine as well. The only difference between the two is that your body can sometimes not be fixed
and its allot harder to find the right mechanic.
By over working in the job area, then working on a house while not on the job, then pouring alcohol into his system when rest is needed, this man is doing more harm than he knows. Soon it will start to show itself in one or more of several ways. Attitude, thought or pains to mention a few. His nightly activities could even be part of them. Does your husband listen to you? If so, you need to set him down over some coffee and have a heart to heart with him. Explain to him what I have said here. Or better yet print it off and show him what he is doing to himself. Now if he is young, he will more than likely blow it off with, "I know what I'm doing" or something of this nature. By the time he's older though, he will wish that he hadn't. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I think you need to sit down and talk to him about how you are feeling. Pick a time when he is not busy doing something El's if you have to schedule some time specifically for this as you want to have his attention so he can understand how you are feeling. Try not to be whiny or naggy when you talk to him as men just turn off if they feel that's whats happening. Explain to him that you don't want barriers or resentment to form between you, that's why you want to sort this out. Ask him to answer you honestly as you approach the idea that maybe he doesn't find your changing body attractive. (I'm not saying this is the case, just that men can find the changes in a woman's body and the idea that a child is forming within the vicinity of where there penis is going a bit difficult sometimes) If you think that his drinking is becoming a problem approach this with caution.Remind him how much you love him and appreciate how hard he works to get things ready for the baby. If he is feeling a bit odd about your body right now (or even if hes not) pregnant woman can still be sexy, Take him to bed do a sexy little strip tease, make it fun give him a sexy little wiggle, even wiggle you sexy pregnant tummy at him and remind him that all this has come out of your love for each other. And you should enjoy each other now because when baby makes three he will be wishing he had you to himself.

P.S CONGRATULATIONS.

Answer 7

nothing. it's just his subconscious acknowledging the needs that he has. you say that he's really stressed at work, and he fixes the house on weekends. that suggests to me that he's exhausted, which is why he doesn't come across as interested. however, it seems his subconscious has taken control of his libido, for the time being. perhaps the best thing to do is lay back and enjoy it. this way, you both get the fulfillment you need, and there isn't any problem. of course, his drinking could also contribute to his not remembering it, but as you said, you're okay with that, so that can't be the problem. frankly, i don't see a problem here, unless it becomes disruptive due to a lack of sleep.

i'd suggest that the next time it happens, wake him up. make sure he knows what's going on, and see if he's still interested. if he is, then you know that you can let him do what he's going to do, because he *is* interested. perhaps that's just the only time that feels available.

Answer 8

Drinking and stress are the two possible causes of him having sex while he is asleep.
Do not worry!
It comes and goes.
Do not let him make a habit out of it.
Try to enjoy, and possibly wake him and give him some sort of enjoyment while he is awake.
Most of the times, try to wake him up, and then have sex.
Talk to him.
If worsen, Sleep separately once in a week!

Answer 9

it does happen once a woman gets pregnant. he looks like a dear person to me and certainly who loves you so much. it maybe just caused due to your low sex appetite at this time, his high level of stress. I bet he is thinking about having sex but also knows that it may not be possilbe. try to find out things which you both love and can do as an alternate. think about your baby, his/her place, what toys you will get, what you will do with her/him, etc so that his minds get diverted. if i am not wrong you can certainly make love till 6-7 months or more as long as the woman in question can take it without risking yourself or your baby.

xxx
tom harris
[e-mail]

Answer 10

First of all, congradulations on being pregnant. Secondly, I would try to wake him up, something is bothering him, this working alot of hours is not healthy either, he will burn out. As for the drinking with friends, it's ok to have a couple drinks, but, as long as it's not to get drunk, and more often can lead to an addiction, so maybe have him slow down some, your not asking him to stop completly, just slow down the drinking, and have one, then ice water, juice or pop for the remainder of the evening. Hope this helps, take care.

Answer 11

It is normal. My wife reported that it was some of the best sex I ever had with her. I felt the same way that I wished I remembered.

It comes and goes throughout the marriage based on stress and frequency of conscious sex with the partner. So the pregnancy slowdown may be some way involved?

If it was good for you , then the Docs say it is harmless.

My wife reported I was exquisitely gentle and that got her all fired up.

Old Guy