How can talk my friend?out of wanting to be the other woman?

Question

My good friend Karen's husband cheated on her while they were trying for a baby and he got the other woman pregnant instead.This is not the first time this has happened to her it also happened with an ex.bf.Anyway she has been depressed and angry since then.She keeps asking me what she did wrong?I do not want to tell her that she does not have great taste in men even though its true 90%percent of the men she dated were jerks,cheaters,abusive or all of the above in some way.When she had a nice man she used him as a door matt.She recently heard her ex.bf whom she dated when she was 18-19 ish for 1 yr and half is getting married.Worse her ex.bf is marrying the girl he cheated on her with and got pregnant.The ex.bf now has two children with this other women and a third on the way.My friend Karen now wants to sleep with this guy again and is throwing herself at him(thus far he has turned her down).I worry because she wants to be the other woman for once and feels this person deserves it

I am trying really hard to help my friend because we have been friends for 11 yrs but am a loss at what to do to convince her?I doubt her ex.bf will break so she will feel more humiliated and if he does she will feel lower than she does now

Answer 1

Sadly you aren't going to be able to talk your friend out of being the other woman. She feels somehow that this will even the score but of course that is not true. She's going to end up feeling even worse in the long run. This guy is rejecting her because he realizes what she is doing. He will probably end up rejecting her time and again constantly humiliating her. Try to occupy her time with classier places, even though you already know she's going to be drawn the worst person in the place. Really all you can do is be there for her when everything falls apart.

Answer 2

First of all, no matter what his purpose are. Sleeping with an additional lady is WRONG. That's dishonest. Nothing well comes from breaking a marital vow. Aside from that, I can see why he is truthfully due to the fact that that. That man is annoyed. What man would not be. Maybe you could have been too heartbroken from the entire miscarriages. And he isn't taking that under consideration. I suppose either one of you're dealing with this mistaken. You have to get right down to truly purpose you do not desire to have intercourse and maintain it. And your husband must be extra sufferer and information. But depriving your husband like that may force a person loopy. This is simply rather tricky. You men have to determine stuff out. Please do not agree for him to sleep with anyone else. This will harm your marriage A LOT. But depriving him of intercourse could also be rather hurting your marriage.

Answer 3

She needs a hard reality check and if you're her best friend, you need to sit her down and give it to her straight, but make sure she knows you're doing it out of love. She may still reject what you say, but she had to pay for the consequences of her actions. Self esteem is an issue for her. Why not get some books or DVDs on self esteem, work through them with her, and guide her? God bless you for caring enough about her. Good luck!

Answer 4

It's not about what the other woman deserves, that is just an excuse. It's about what your friend deserves. Obviously her self esteem is as low as it can be, when she boicotts her own relationship with a good man and insists on dating abusers and cheaters. This is what she feels she deserves, and unless she gets some therapy to boost her self esteem, she will continue making such mistakes.

We attract what we are, if we feel like crap, we will attract crap (no good man wants to date crap), if we feel great, we will attract great, and say no to crap. It's all about her self esteem and her need to punish herself for being crap.

Answer 5

She needs to know that she chooses the wrong kind of men. Any woman who habitually goes for the wrong guy and wonders why, needs to realize they have to take responsibility for it and find out why they do, so they can change their way of thinking to avoid future mistakes (bad guys).
As for her throwing herself at a man who doesn't want her, its pathetic and as a friend you should let her know. As for the thinking the other woman deserves it, those are deep seeded issues that she should see a therapist for. As a "FRIEND" you should let her know that too. Otherwise she is just setting herself up for a life time of misery and bad relationships.

Answer 6

show her what she can become using herself to ruin the relationship of others just because she doesnt have the same. show her all she will accomplish is the lonleyness of any bitter woman. show her that she is worth more and have higher values than that. she seems like a niced woman she just has had a rough life. tell her that if she isnt happy on her own she wont be any happier with a man on her side that would just be hiding her real feelings and how miserable she really is.. your seem in your straight mind show her she can be just as independent as you are.

tell her that if she wants to get over him and his life then she needs to develope one of her own.. all those men are just what theyre called.. men.

we dont need them tbey need us telll her shes a woman and we have the upper hand ... she doesnt need to degrate herself.. by doing the best show her shes better than that..

good luck!!

Answer 7

Well it seems she has a self esteem prob. What she needs to do is not date anyone, either fix her marriage or end it, then take stock in her choices of men.

Answer 8

There's probably little you can do. She's going to do what she wants to do. She is lowering herself to his standards. Is that what she wants? I know she wants to get him back for what he did to her, but vengeance isn't the answer. She'll have to learn from her own mistakes. Sad isn't it? When they can't see the choices they make causes their pain.