When we had court to determine visitation, he never showed up; therefore I was told that it was up to me to decide when and if he should be able to see his son. He does pay child support ($200/month) but thats about it. once a year he tries to see his son. but recently he asked if he could have him for the weekend. I said ok but this was before i knew he lived out of state 8 hours away. Can i tell him no unless he stays at his mothers (in state) for the weekend and sees him there?
2007-07-16 03:33:20 · 12 answers · asked by Sheena B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my son is 3 and doesn't even call his real dad DAD and calls him ***** by his name. He calls my fiance his dad because he's the one thats been there the last 2 1/2 yrs of his life every day.
2007-07-16 03:39:29 · update #1
my ex is into drugs and i know when my son was just a baby my ex brought him to parties, got him high, smoked heavily around him (now he has asthma) and this is why i am kinda leary on letting him take him out of state...
2007-07-16 03:50:38 · update #2
Thats a rough one. There are a lot of factors involved. Since he didnt show to court, it is up to you! Of course the biggest concern is your son. Its very important to have both parents active in the childs life. So the focus has to stay with your son. I understand not wanting him to go 8 hours out of state, not an easy thing to deal with. Go with your gut and that mother intuition. You'll do the right thing!
Best of luck!
2007-07-16 04:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by mandy5_0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a lot of custody cases, it states that the father is not to leave the state or even county without having the approval of the mother first. I would definitely tell him that he could have him for the weekend, but he is not to take him out of the state. You can do whatever you want and he has to abide by what you say. I would not let him take him out of the state either. Tell him that you did not know that he lived out of state and that he cannot take the child out of the state. So he will have to stay in the state if he wants to keep him.
2007-07-16 03:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a responsible parent, designated by the court to make the most appropriate decisions for your child. Tell your ex that you would like for your child to see his dad, but that you feel that such a long trip is not in his best interest right now. Period. Suggest that he send his son cards or letters, and call him once in a while. Maybe in the future if he shows interest in being an active parent you will think it appropriate for him to travel to his dad's.
2007-07-16 03:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by leslie b 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were granted the authority of when and if he sees his son. Tell him you will not allow your son to be taken out of state and he needs to come up with a Plan B.
2007-07-16 03:37:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. The court decided that you call all shots. If you're ex doesn't like that, then tell him to take you to court to make other arrangements. If he decides to take your son out of state without your permission, that's kidnapping.
2007-07-16 03:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by ☆skyblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think your proposed compromise would suit eveyone concerned. Your son should not be deprived of his grandparents or his father and it seems you are not being that mother dog woman. Did your ex receive the final decree with the visitation spelled out? If not, send him one with your compromise proposal. Fair is more than you are required to do.
2007-07-16 03:44:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation. Since the courts left up to you to determine visitation you can say no. You may also look into supervised visits. They can bring a lot of peice of mind.
2007-07-16 03:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by ondia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not let him take him out of state. EVER. you tell him no. he moved, his tough luck. real non-custodial parents stay in the vicinity of their children. if he wants to revise his rights, then he needs to get his lazy butt down to the courthouse and actually use them.
if the courts grant him out of state visitation, he needs to provide you money for a round trip ticket so in case he gets stupid you can go get your son back.
2007-07-16 07:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though I understand your anxiety,I will caution you to facilitate a closer relationship between father and son.What is there in his nature that makes you hesitate to send your son.Tell him he is welcome to see him anytime but only in the state you live in,and that as the relationship grows stronger you could allow him to travel.My earlier caution must be taken seriously,if you stand in the way, your son is going to grow up hating you.that will be unfortunate considering how much you love him.
2007-07-16 03:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you can!
do what makes you feel comfortable!
do what is best for your child
screw worrying about what is going to make you feel bad. If you know in your heart that 8 hours away is too much (and by the way ....it is!) then tell him that!
2007-07-16 03:36:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋