is it normal?

Question

i am a jealous person and i easily get jealous its because i love my husband and then i also asked my husband if he also feel any jealousy but he answered NO because he trusts me in everything.i hate everytime he tell me that way because i want him to get jealous to feel his love for me but it doesnt mean that my husband dont love me.. of course i know that he loves me but i just want to feel that he is jealous with something..and also, i asked him also that are there some things he dont want me to do or the things he will get angry if i do this etc..,and he answered me that i am free to do anything,no dos and donts,he wont stop me with whatever i want to do!!my gosh!i cant believe it ,is it normal?i may think that he dont love me nor care about me but his reason is that he loves me and trusts me with all his heart and he knows that i wont do anything bad that could destroy our relationship,that i think only for the best! but is it really normal?is that really called love?

Answer 1

I understand exactly what your saying, i can relate to that feeling, trust me your not abnormal, i've gone through that my self.
We are jealous for a reason but that can be easily trace back to early civilzation, or
should i say primortial time. And also unfortunately there are people who have no respect for others perameters, in both gendures, what they see is what they want,
and will stop at nothing to try and get it.

But that's where you must put the brakes
on your emotions, true easier said than done, but like it or not you need to give your spouse the feeling that you trust him,
as well as you can be trusted, i mean the bottom line is RESPONCE . . .

he's responding to you by his value system simply put you mess around and it's you in the long run who'll lose out, it's call taking responsibility for one's own action, He's more than likely a good guy and love's you deeply . . .


and know's in his heart he would never cross the line, my guess is he's one who can interact with other women because he know's what he'd be realy loosing out on and that he cherrishes what he has at home, namely you . . . so he feels secure with this thought so the last thing you wanna do is to be planting seeds of doubt in his mind next thing you know you'll be trying to test him . . .

Then again it could be a controlling mechcanisum, like with a kid, if he told you not to do something you'd probably want
to do it even more and so he says nothing,
i wouldn't push it who know's maybey he intensly jealous but is wise enough to use
discression, some people have to see in order to beleive then they act, or tragicaly in some cases overreact . . .

Perhaps you should consult a realationship therapist it always helps to talk it out, i'm no shrink but it's my guess your own parent's have contributed something to the insecurity pot of your relationship stew which is why you feel that way, and that i can speak from exsperience, with my parents . . .

and no your not abnormal, that's why we have a thing called emotions and they just didn't spring up in us over night but if i may suggest ease of a bit, i mean i doubt you'd want the alternitive, and i'm sure there are quite a few women who could tell you a tale or two of the night mare that the alternitive can lead to . . .

Hope all goes well for you . . .

Answer 2

Jealousy destroys relationships, so your being jealous of him, and wanting him to be jealous of you is quite disturbing. Relationships are built on trust, and if you do not trust each other (however it sounds like your husband trusts you), then you will be unhappy for the rest of your life. You should be grateful that he does trust and love you, and I am sure he is just saying you are free to do what you want. By the way, love is what you feel for someone, not what that person tells you is okay to do or not to do. Love has nothing to do with jealousy.

Answer 3

Yes, he is behaving in a normal way for him, and you are probably behaving in a normal way for you. I wonder if you feel insecure in the relationship. A little jealousy is probably normal for you, but don't get carried away with it. And don't get into a pattern of hoping to make him jealous because that will only create problems. I am not a jealous person by nature, and I know it would drive me away if my husband expected me to be jealous or tried to make me jealous.

Answer 4

Three options for his behavior. 1. He is actually telling the truth. 2. He is lieing, and he is jealous, but doesn't show it (the most likely). or 3. He doesn't care about what you do so that he is able to do whatever he wants to do as well (something to watch out for)! Normal, not at all. All men get jealous at some point whether they admit it or not. That is a fact!

Answer 5

The problem isn't with your trusting husband, it's with you. You have low self esteem and seem to think showing jealousy shows love. Jealousy is not a productive emotion. Read some books on it and get out of that rut before you end up chasing that good man away.

Answer 6

He does trust you and that's why he tells you you can do anything you want. He knows 'anything you want' is going to be nothing.
But if he did not trust you, he would never say that.
Is it that you want him to be jealous?
If you gave him some examples, maybe he'd admit that there ARE some things he wouldn't like you to do. But at this point, he's already shown you a liberal trusting attitude so I wouldn't try to provoke an argument.

Answer 7

I agree with Lady G, you need to resolve these issues of jealousy or you will lose him. I hate it when people describe themselves as a jealous person but then won't do anything to work on their insecurities. Get counseling if you have to.

Answer 8

Hun I was just like you before and thought that he did not love me cause he never gets jeolous and started taking this course for my major in College and it changed me. It shows that not everyone has to show jeolousy to show that they love you and some people that are jeolous are not even in love sometimes....Be happy that he trusts you and loves you enough to treat you good and doesnt fight with you over stupid things..... We all have different personality traits....

Answer 9

He is not jealous and giving you lot of freedom.....You lucky girl.I cant understand why do you want to make him jealous,spoil a great life and finally lose him.Trust me God doesn't make these type of men anymore,so, dont try to make him jealous and thank God you got him.

Answer 10

hello, i would say just be happy you have a man like that don't piss him off to much because one day he may just up and leave. Also maybe he is hiding something from you and wants you to make one wrong move to test him. or maybe he really dose love you and trust you so just be happy.