Pregnancy and Domestic Violence?

Question

This is going to sound like a strange question. What is it that causes some men to become violent towards their partner when she becomes pregnant. Homicide is one of the leading causes of deaths in pregnant women (Laci Peterson and Jesse Davis) in the US. Some studies have shown that domestic violence increases when a woman is pregnant. Can someone explain to me what goes through these guys' heads? Don't hold back. I really want to know.

Answer 1

She,s really pis**ng me off, look what the dozy cow has gone and done now, i never wanted this, not that i was asked, she's taken a right liberty, thinks she can manipulate me? who's in charge here? she wants a good slap.

Sorry about that. Frightening, sociopathic and irresponsible i know but you did ask and i think most times that will be about the chain of thought that leads up to violence

Answer 2

I would think this is primarily a jealous reaction to the mother's attention not being totally focused on the man. Their partner's body no longer 'belongs' to them.
Many normal men find these issues difficult - what was an object of sexual desire and enjoyment now houses the foetus and has become a reproductive machine, with changes in the parts of the body they thought they knew. Birth is a deeply frightening issue for men on an unconscious level (a fact that was taken into account when making the film 'Alien' for example). After all, reproducing another human being is a powerful thing to do. Some pregnant women experience verbal harassment from complete strangers because of this.

Pregnancy signals changes in the relationship - increased responsibility, becoming a father - which cause anxiety and therefore an impulse to lash out.

Such men must have a predisposition to this type of violence, and will probably be quite controlling.

I was not aware of this fact (women more at risk when pregnant) and I will definitely be back to see what other people have to say.

Answer 3

The question will have a better answer if you included whether the man is married to his partner and still acts violent towards his partner during pregnancy.

In an ideal scenario, Any married person who loves his wife would expect her to bear his child and I believe that he will not be violent towards his better half.

On the other side, people who are in the "dating mode/relationship mode/ trying to stay together just for the baby mode" all are living in a conditional camp wherein the guy becomes responsible for baby but there is hardly any love left for his partner. He basically looks at the baby/unborn as an unwanted expense but shows his irritation and anger towards the mother who he thinks is responsible for the baby and not him as a father.

Below are some of the factors I feel are vital in determining why and how a male acts towards his partner:
1) Age
2) Education
3) Monetary status
4) Relationship status and amount of time spent in the relationship
5) Whether the child was planned
6) Any other children he has had with other women
7) Child support factor

The above are just my personal opinions.
-Aski

Answer 4

I have heard these men are quite charming before pregnancy then turn nasty after. Perhaps they think the woman is trapped and easy prey then (which they are) because these men are cowards and bullies combined. If they were nasty before pregnancy they wouldn't get a woman so there is a charm offensive or the woman would be able to walk away freely. I also think there is some tie up with the man's mother and how that relationship is/was.

Answer 5

though i have never heard of it on a large scale,it is obvious that men unlike women go through some type of psychological depression or trauma in his own thoughts to just do a 180 degree turn on his woman . certain if not all men go through a am i ready stage and may even hate the woman for moments at a time without cause.it is definately acute. and this is the time most men cheat,feeling left ,which is once again all his own mental creation.

Answer 6

As with any domestic violence case, the man is insecure and lacks confidence in his masculinity. He hits his wife as a way of reassuring himself of his dominance and power and therefore easing his insecurities. When a woman becomes pregnant, his insecurities however are doubled. He already lacks confidence in himself as a man and now he is faced with being a father and having to provide for a child. This heightens his insecurities hence the increased violence.

Answer 7

Jealousy, and the fact that they are realizing it won't be just him and his partner anymore. He will have to share her, and if he is naturally jealous, he will become even more jealous.
Responsibilty is another reason. Some can't handle the responsibility of becoming a father, its too much for them.

My thought on that, is if you didn't want to 'share' her, you should have done something to protect yourself and her from getting pregnant. It shouldn't be just the women that have to worry about getting pregnant, men should take some responsibility in the matter too.

Answer 8

That question has always puzzled me but I believe the answer may be found in evolutionary or anthropological studies. With those numbers there must be some sort of hard wired biological reason. That is absolutely no excuse of course. Just a path toward a possible explanation. It would have to be a very detailed long term study involving biologists, historians, behaviorists, anthropologists and evolutionists.

Answer 9

I think it's loss of ultimate control, along with other emotions that pregnancy stirs up. "There are a lot of dynamics that go on in a relationship that involves violence—power and control and the need for the abuser to be primary. A pregnancy can create a sense of possibly losing that primary position."

Answer 10

Jealousy