ok...so we were having the most romantic weekend till i jumped on the computer to check something and a porn link came up on the history. i got really upset because the least he could do is hide it and make sure it isnt where i can find it (i've told him this in the past) because although i understand men like to look at this stuff...i have an insecurity problem (which i fully admit and try my hardest to work on). anyways he apologized. i forgive him but now i feel really uncomfortable having sex. i usually love to have sex. but we tried doing it yesterday and the whole time i just kept thinking in my head "do i look fat, am i doing this right? do i look as good as the computer chicks?". i couldnt enjoy myself at all. i feel so inadequate. he assures me that he thinks im the most beautiful girl in the world but i still feel ugly compared to those porn girls. how can i make myself feel confident and enjoy sex again?
2007-07-16 03:00:56 · 14 answers · asked by Heather 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh and just for the record. im open to anything...i stress this to him a lot. the only place i draw the line is when it comes to adding other people. other than that..i will willingly try and be excited about anything else he wants to try. i've always encouraged him to be open with me about whatever he wants.
2007-07-16 03:47:19 · update #1
To Nah Nah Nah,
for your info i went to type up my credit card info and when i hit www. a whole slew of other websites starting with the same letter popped. up. one of them was a porn site. i was not spying in any way shape or form. i would prefer to never go looking for that!
2007-07-16 04:17:10 · update #2
you can't compare yourself to those artificial barbie dolls in those porno's. THEY AREN'T REAL! women like that don't really exist they come out of a factory and no man really wants his woman to be made up of parts that you can find at a local hardware store. what you have to do is realize that your a beautiful woman inside and out and on your worst day your DROP DEAD gorgeous! and don't you ever let anyone tell you different. take control in the bed room show your man that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and that no matter what he will never find a woman that will put it on him like you.
2007-07-16 03:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by cocoprincess83 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-20 09:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing about porn is that it's all just a fantasy. Men enjoy the visual assistance when, uh, "relieving stress". It has absolutely nothing to do with how attracted he is to you! If he says he thinks you're beautiful, then you are! If he thinks you're sexy, then you are! Have you tried to incorporate the porn into your sex life? You may actually feel more comfortable knowing what he's watching than wondering what he may be into. Also, porn is a great education! If you watch the actresses, you may learn some new and exiting phrases, moves, and facial expressions. I wouldn't ask my guy to give it up completely, just to be honest with me about how often and what content he is viewing. Your insecurities will pass. I went through the same thing. And believe it of not, now it doesn't bother me at all.
2007-07-16 03:15:21 · answer #3 · answered by jackie_jackie_bo_backie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are not the only one with an insecurity problem??? Is it possible that he is looking at these sites to explore and learn about ways he can improve his ability to satisfy you? Maybe there are sexual things that he wants to explore but is afraid to approach you with them because he fears they might offend you? Then again maybe he just likes the fantasy of different women (men?) or acts and is completely happy with your relationship as is? The only way that you will know for sure is either to look at the sites yourself when they pop-up to see if there is a specific theme he is regularly researching or the best way is to ASK HIM... Open/Honest COMMUNICATION (sometimes a little at a time) is the key to getting through these things that are uncomfortable in marriage... It may mean that you have to take the lead and plan out a way to explore your sexual relationship by using sessions to explore what you are comfortable with... Hopefully that will also help your confidence level (since you can sort of control the conversation and at the same time maybe you can be sure that you are getting the undivided attention you need so you can enjoy sex at your pace... Good Luck...
2007-07-16 03:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by AZDad 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
2 years is a fair amount of time to be with the same person you obviously care alot about him. Chances are you aren't as interested just because you are used to him and the same thing everytime you have sex. He might even be feeling the same way. Set aside an evening just for you and him. Turn the t.v off, light some candles and spend at least an hour with foreplay, kissing and talking before you do anything else. Take it slow and make it romantic and sensual. Maybe try you on top??
2016-05-19 01:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that porn has nothing to do with you.
It is fully possible that he uses that as a medium for lasting longer with you. It also might be that he does not want to impose with the level of frequency that he wants versus the level that you are willing to. We all have different levels of desire at different times. It coauld be a simple mechanism for
balancing out the inequity.
Give him a break on this one. The problem is your insecurity.
You have to believe that under all the circumstance that he can face he did and will continue to CHOOSE YOU.
You are his love they are little more than a moving picture.
They are illusion. Under all situations, short of hating each other's guts, the living is always better than video.
Work on your own confidence. There is no reason for you to take a back seat to anyone.
2007-07-16 03:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so, you just wanted to check something and omg the history came up... no, you were checking up on him for some reason... omg hes looking at porn and because i am not this and that and they are, blah, blah, blah... this issue has been beaten to death in this forum.. what does he say to you about you???? are you fat??/ if you have to ask the question, then you probably are. am i doing it right??? i dont know. are you??? you know the answers to this stuff... how can you enjoy sex again??? forget this porn crap, and go back to doing what you were doing.....you seem to need to get some self esteem issues worked out and you need to learn how to trust your husband... too bad for you both that you had to go snooping and lost much of your romantic weekend... such a pity.
2007-07-16 04:10:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably just had an "urge" and looked at a little visual stimulation to help get the job done.
However, when he's intimate with you there is a connection there that can't even be compared to what he saw on the computer.
Don't feel threatened by it - they really are two very different things to most of us.
2007-07-16 05:01:26 · answer #8 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep in mind that the girls online are surgically altered, professionally made up (well, some of them, any way), and then shot from angles that are supposed to make them look their best. And then the pictures are retouched and edited to get rid of birth marks, wrinkles, acne, etc.If you met them on the street, you probably wouldn't recognize them as the same person.
2007-07-16 03:09:11 · answer #9 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
try to trust him. be open with him and tell him that though it has happened in the past it should not happen in future. ask him why and what he looks in the porn sites for? can you giev that to him? are there any other options for you 2?
xxx
tom harris
bh37bh37@yahoo.com
2007-07-16 07:30:27 · answer #10 · answered by bh37bh37 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋