My boyfriend (of 7 yrs) had problems in the 1st couple yrs.We were young, he cheated & didnt take the relationship seriously at the time-however we been through a lot & matured extremely & now things are really great with us. We have two boys 6 & 1 yr. he had a daughter by a girl he cheated on me with. We split up 3 times during 7 yrs (the last time was last june) every time he would go stay with the girl he had the kid by & she ended up pregnant again-which he just had a paternity test done for this child. The girl is psychotic and drinks and plays games using the kids against my fiance. She wont let him see them & then she will, then will say he doesnt do anything for them, then she will ignore his calls,then she will flip out and start pranking us or damage our property, then she will say he can see them only if its at her house.she is always using these kids as tools against him.He is having a hard time being a dad to the kids & cant afford a lawyer-what is the best thing to do?
2007-07-16 02:58:02 · 15 answers · asked by Yellowtulips 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You dont need a lawyer. Call up the Attorney General's office for your state. If he is paying child support, then there needs to be a court order for him to see his children. Just call the AG's office and they can give you guidance about what to do next. Good luck.
2007-07-16 03:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by bellesnail 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this but she may feel like you are the other women. your bf is the one at fault if you spilt up three times, and she ended up pregnant each time, I assume she has three kids by him. You don't know what he has been telling her about you, so that may be why she is reacting the way she is to the situation.
Saying that kids should not be used against a parent. If he is paying for the kids, then he should be able to see them. I would suggest they go and both see a lawyer to work out what is best.
On a final note, you shouldn't put the blame on her, just think how you would feel if the roles where reversed. You bf should be responsible and pay for his kids, maybe he could talk to her and work out an arrangement.
2007-07-16 03:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After reading the story, I can't believe that you're asking us to help you help HIM. You said that the last time you split up was last June. You think he's ready to be in a committed relationship with you?? I feel very sorry for you for failing to see what's really going on in your relationship. Men like that don't change in just a year. Maybe the other girl is 'psychotic' because he's manipulating her and continuously giving her mixed signals. This guy's a reap piece of work. Years from now you're going to look back with much regret and heart ache. Good luck with your current situation. This is just sad. I'm sorry this isn't the honesty and maturity you were looking for in your answer.
2007-07-16 03:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by jackie_jackie_bo_backie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't need a Lawyer to file a Petiton for Vistation at your Local County Family Court....He also needs to stop the back and forth contacts everytime you and him split because you really don't know for sure what he is truly telling her...His main communication with her should only be about the kids that they share together....I know this must be hard on you as well, but, your main focus should be about you and your children that you have with him....You can't be in the middle of their problems because thats something he chose when he went out and met this girl....He was the one who decided to be with her, no one forced him too...Especially, the second time around...What real value does he have for you and your children if he continues playing these games??You have to decide if this is the life you also want to live...He will always be your children's father but, I think there will come a point in your life that you will have to answer for your myself....No one has to live this way especially, if your not happy...You don't sound happy for Yourself***
2007-07-16 03:20:00 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know how old you are but life is too short to settle for this kind of relationship. Why do you keep breaking up? He has cheated on you in the past and I know that he now says he is committed to you but just last June he got another woman pregnant. Please don't let his irresponsible behavior impact your life and your sons. This other woman is unbalanced and you don't deserve to be impacted by this. this is his bed to lie in.
Your life is what you make it. There is better out there for you.
Please love yourself and your boys enough to get out for good. If he is a good father to your boys he can still be an important part of their life without you sacrificing your life to live with this mess.
2007-07-16 03:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by grtchi09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the evidence that he's matured! He was a cheater; he is a cheater; and he apparently is planning on populating the country by himself. Someone needs to GROW UP and raise the children you have and let this LOSER go!!! Your children deserve better than this and apparently you are the only one who can provide a better life for them! Of course a single mother has it rough but you're already a single mother so stop playing house with this guy and pretending he's "yours".
And what he does about the situation with his other woman is none of your worry. They deserve each other.
2007-07-16 03:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is one big mess (sorry). My first thought was for you to remove yourself from this relationship but I doubt that you actually want that. As for her, she needs to be made accountable in some way. In short she must pay for her actions and it has to hurt. If she is really that bad maybe social services should be called in to determine if she is a fit mother. They can put the fire to her feet. And your man has to make a choice for real. One women or the other. When he sees his child, you go too. Your role is to be the sane one and hopefully (and I think that you will need outside help) make an agreement about visitation. Good luck.
2007-07-16 03:15:36 · answer #7 · answered by SteveX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rather of growing to be demands, purely ask him what's the element with this female, and pay attention heavily to his answer. From the sounds of it, he has some reason to prefer her emotions over yours, this is a robust indication, in spite of he ought to tell you, that she outranks you in his affections. distinctly if she is a clean acquaintance, sell off him. She must be an old chum, wherein case, she has toughness on you. If not, you're approximately to get replaced, so decrease your losses and enable pass. It hurts, of direction, yet is lots greater smart than attempting to hold directly to a guy who's waiting to pass on. Clinging will purely make the entire affair greater painful, and your restoration a lot slower.
2016-09-30 02:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by hoehl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a court order for visitation on those days if she does not abide by them call the police and they may be able to help you see those kids or call the courts and see if they can direct you to see someone that you wouldnt need an attorney.....
2007-07-16 03:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask a lawyer for a list of other lawyer that do it for free and tell them everything and the judge will set up certain times for everything and if she doesnt follow them then shes in trouble with the law.if shes destroying your property and you can get a picture of her in the act then she will be arrested.see if he can get custody,those kids dont need to be around someone like that.
2007-07-16 03:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋