just split with my violent partner that i have 2 kids with after 8 years! He wont let me go, phones every day and is in a rehab centre at mo police know of situation but cant not do anything at mo! as he is in rehab and they are not fretning calls even though he is breaking his bail conditions, i just want to move on with my life but cant till he is out of it! Any advice will be helpfull! all they can do at the time being is record all the details!
2007-07-16 02:25:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
stay away from him.
the best thing u can do is change ur phone no.
and make sure he doesn't know it. if u r still afraid he may get u, change ur address too..
get going happily in ur life.
2007-07-16 02:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by Encyclopedia 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, absolutely. Actually, I think it's very much easier if a real length of time has passed since you were last together. It can be hard to forget the past if you've gone through a long period of on-again, off-again difficulty, but if it has been two years then I think you'll be able to look at each other anew. It helps a lot that you didn't split up over cheating - you guys may have some trust issues, but they don't sound like they'll be the major issues that some couples have to overcome. I definitely think you can do this. Good luck!
2016-04-01 06:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, you have to cut off all contact with him! Change your # and move to where he can find you. If he calls DO NOT talk to him. Every time you talk to him it is like throwing gas on the flames. When he sees you/hears your voice it is reinforcing his hope that he can get you back. Even if he is being calm and nice, dont talk to him. He will never move on as long as he is in any kind of contact with you. If you have to get a mediator (friend or family member) who will be the go between for communication dealing with the kids. You must cut all ties, or he will never move on. You must make it 100% clear that you DO NOT want him. Everytime he gets you on the phone he is thinking that he can manipulate you. Make him know he can't. Again, move, change your #, and only communicate with him via a intermediary only when absolutley necessary about the kids. It is no easy break from an abuser. He will continue to try to manipulate you, so even if he approaches you calm and ratioanally, it is only making things worse.
2007-07-16 03:27:53 · answer #3 · answered by sugarplums 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he breaks his bail conditions they should arrest him. Even though he is in rehab he can still call you. This is classed as intimidation and it's a very serious offence. I would persist with the police and tell them you think your life is in danger and while he can get to you, you cannot live your life the way you deserve...
Just keep on and get your numbers changed, that way he cannot harass you over the phone or by text
2007-07-16 02:29:42 · answer #4 · answered by Scatty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change as much information that you can.....and for a while keep a low profile.
It's true the police can't do anything but they can be aware of what's going on. Get a court order that he can't come within so many feet of you.
Then try very hard to find parts of your day where you don't think about him.....you'll lose your mind and you won't be a very effective Mother if you don't'. Get a friend, someone who knows the situation who you can trust and talk to.....good luck.
2007-07-16 02:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can scarpe the money together, which I know is very hard, I would move far away. No send in putting your life at risk and you have to protect your children. Also talk to social services about the situation the police may not be doing anything but you need to have it recorded in more then one place that he is doing this to you.
2007-07-16 02:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a change of scene. Leave Mo. Get as far away from him as possible and try as hard not to let him know where you are. The only snag is the children - but if you believe in God, the Almighty God will take care of them. Good luck
2007-07-16 04:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by Optimist E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation got injuction out on him police adviced me to move from the area only letting people you can really trust were you go, my hearts with you its hard at first to start a fresh and you you will get there i have and its great
Dreamgirl 1
2007-07-16 10:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why the police can't help and why he is not in jail if he's breaking his bail.
But my advice would be to go to move. I know there are non-profit organizations that help families like yours. I'd google it or ask your police department for resources. They could help you make moving arrangements. Don't tell him you're moving, don't have the number forwarded, ... Get away. It will be hard to start in a new place, but not as hard as living his him.
2007-07-16 02:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are strong and determined i recomend you move away, start totally afresh, take back your maiden name and give it to your kids, rid yourself of anything that reminds you of him, change your numbers, address and anything you can. contact some support groups or organisation in the new place so that you will not be alone and so that someone knows of your situation. tell only one or two people where you are going as no doubt your husband will try to find out.
take it one day at a time.
2007-07-16 02:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for breaking free and leaving.
is there any family or close friends that live away so you can go and stay there for a couple of weeks so you can chill out, and plan the rest of your life.
if not if i were you i would consider moving away from the area where you presently live and starting afresh.
good luck and well done for leaving him
2007-07-16 02:30:39 · answer #11 · answered by Raine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋