Should I Feel This Way. Should I Be Sad?

Question

Sat Morning Around 3am My Brother woke me to tell me that My Ex Boyfriend Who i dated for 3 years was Killed He was shot 6 times by this gang and he was never in one. Ive known him for so long since i was 12 and i dated him since then. He and I had our good and bad times and i ended up breaking up with him 3 or 4 years ago, but to me He was my first Love. Last year he and his famly came down from Maryland to visit me and my fam. He told me he still loved me and it was special. we kissed and yes made love, all the feeling came back. He left and told me he was always going to love me. and i know we couldnt be 2gether because things wouldnt be the same. When we dated he hurt me many times, yet i was so inlove with him and we always got back together. Now I feel Numb, sad, shocked, i cant explain the feeling. I cant sleep at night. I have to leave this wensday to his funeral i dont know if i would be able to handle it. My Friends tell me i should be tearing but i dont know. Should i be.

Im so confused. i cant sleep at night because i know i can feel him. Do You think this is a normal feeling. Ive had cold sweats at night. I felt like i was going to have a panic attack. I Cant cry that much.

And no he was not in a gang. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. =(

Answer 1

Your feelings are absolutely normal. He was your first love and there will always be special feelings in your heart for him. I still feel for my first love and I know I would feel like you if something tragic happened to him, even though I haven't seen him in over 20 years. The fact that it was a violent death makes it harder for the living to deal with. Tears don't always come easy for some people, so don't worry if you haven't cried yet. It took me years to cry over my parents deaths.

You said you can sometimes feel him with you. Maybe he's trying to let you know he's ok. Take comfort in that. And for whether or not you should feel this way? Your feelings are your feelings and there is no right or wrong way to feel. And when others tell you how you should feel, take it with a grain of salt. They are not you and their feelings will be different.

I wish you the best of luck and am so sorry for your loss. Let your feelings be what they are. Don't push them away and don't try to feel what others say you should. Be true to you.

Answer 2

This is normal. Your in the first stage of the grieving process: where it is hard to accept that someone has died. The grief will come later, most likely at the funeral. Funerals are for the living and they help get one through the process. It will be hard as that is when this might hit you. But think of this, you will regret not going more than going. My best friend was killed by gun fire years ago. I hitched out to where they lived, went to the viewing but couldn't make my self go to the funeral. I regret that and think of it often. I should have gone.

Answer 3

You wouldn't be human if it didn't matter to you, But I have learned evreytime someone passes overe that is close to you it is normal at 1st to find something to feel guilty about , Everyone mourn's in there own way ' noone should judge someone for that! Time will lessen the pain but you will never forget totally so try to focus on the happy positive things and thank god for the short time he was in your life, He is in a better place. Im sorry for your loss. Hang in there !

Answer 4

I am very sorry to hear about your friend. Regardless of the sexual relationship you shared with him. You have a emotional attachment to him, you have been friends for quite sometime. He was killed in a violent manner, his life was ended, you will never see him again. Of course it is very normal to be sad and hurt... You will be ok, you have to work through these feelings and it is very painful. The hardest part of life is dealing with the death of those we love and care about. Keep him alive within your heart with your memories. If you feel as though you are not getting over him and his death, you may want to consider getting involved with a grief counselor to assist you in working through the process of loss and grief. I wish you the best, God bless****

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your loss. This guy held an important and special place in your heart whether you were actively dating him or not. Take your time to grieve and do your best to make it to the funeral, you will need that closure. Be kind to yourself and continue talking to others to help you work through this.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about all that. You're still under a state of shock and that's why you can't realize your feelings. It's normal. Once you get past the being shocked stage, your feelings will come out.
You must attend his funeral, it'll help you get over this.

Answer 7

It sounds like he was a big part of your life, you have every right to greave for him. Even though you two werent dating anymore it doesnt mean you didnt still care for him, this is going to be a tough time for you. Talk to your family and friends about it, dont hold all your feelings inside it doesnt help. Sorry for your loss

Answer 8

Yes because feelings never rlly do go away. You will feel sad but sooner of later you will get over it but it will take sometime to mend your heart. Because he was you frist real love and right now you need to lean on friends and family and tlk to them so the can make you feel better and feel free to add me on yahoo mess. and or your anwsers contacts and i will give you more advice and make u feel better

Answer 9

first of all sorry about ur lose but u should talk to a really good friend and let out ur feelings and cry a little u might feel a bit sad still but u will feel better.

Answer 10

Well, first of all pray that you need help getting over his death. God will help!!
Yes, it is completely normal to be sad!
And at his funeral, cry if you want. You most likely will, of course.
Again, pray for help and keep telling yourself you can do it..because I know you can! =D
Hang in there!