Ever since I married my husband (who for some reason has very high IQ) he seems to have forgotten his role as a provider, husband, friend and confident. He seems to play stupid or not be responsible for our finances and tries to pass it off on me or the creditors he owes money. For example, he has not paid a bill since Feb 07 and has been trying through contacts to get it 'squashed' now its July 07 and the bailiffs are coming to collect on it. It angers me that he is not responsible and that he acts like an idiot when it comes to his responibilities. Why do I always have to take charge when it is his duty and HIS BILL?
2007-07-16 02:11:00 · 20 answers · asked by Sweet & Spicy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think because he knows you'll do it for him, unfortunately sometimes either male or female play the stupid role, just to see how far they get. the downside is when your married he's not just messing his credit up but both of your credit scores. so you need to nip it in the bud as best you can. if he wants to add more drama in his life by not addressing the issue than thats just going to make the situation worse. i think you should have a serious talk with him and let him know your not his mother and that he has to take some kind of responsibilities or your just not going to take it anymore. obviously divorce isnt an option now, but if he keeps this up you could look at thousands of dollars in debt, and then you'll have no choice. good luck.
2007-07-16 02:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by You asked 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First I think you need to relax and not call your husband so much. I am assuming he is at work when you call him. There is no reason to call him so many times a day, in fact you shouldn't even be calling him at all, unless you absolutely need to talk to him or if it's a health concern. Guys just don't like to be called, at all, even when you're married. As for when you go into labor, I think you should turn to someone else....a parent, a sister or brother or a close friend who you know you can count on, to be with you during the birth. Now as for him being irresponsible, you have to decide if and how much longer you will put up with it. If he loses things, but otherwise has a good job with a steady income, and he's basically a good guy, then you really have nothing to worry about. He just needs to focus on being more responsible with his personal possessions. If, on the other hand, he just doesn't care enough to take your calls, if he's lost expensive things and really doesn't seem to be able to take care of himself, and you get the sense that he's basically still a boy, then you need to ask yourself if and how much longer you want to be with him. Because things won't change once the baby comes. You don't say how old you guys are but if you're young, then I think he has a lot of growing up to do. Then you'll have two kids. Good luck.
2016-05-19 00:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well actually now that you're married his bill becomes your bill. So if you know that he acts like that why don't you take care of the financial situation in your house. Men are like babies and most of them never mature. That's the case with my husband and he's 44. So that's what I do, I take care of the bills and make sure there's enough money in the bank account. He probably never will do it, so take care of it yourself. His bills are your bills and if his credit goes down you will suffer just as much later on.
Good luck
2007-07-16 02:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be his duty , his bill, but you know he is not going to take care of it, so being HIS OTHER HALF, you take it over and make sure it gets paid. You can make sure that you are set finacially and not have people coming to the door disturbing you. I find that most people that have a High IQ, are quite lame in handling simple matters. Give them something that takes brain power and they are champions, but everyday life isn't enough for their brain to think is important. My grandson is in the high iq bracket and have the time he forgets his own name.
2007-07-16 02:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear ya sister! I feel the same darn way. I have found something that works for me... I tell him I need X amount of money out of his check to pay for our reg. normal bills but I bump up the x amount and just pay his bills without him knowing it or tell him I am low on grocery funds then I take that money and appy it to his bills he won't pay-works well and mean while I am repairing his credit without him even knowing it with his own money b/c other wise we'd be stuck forever financially! I hate to lie but in this manner I think it's o.k. and for good cause.
2007-07-16 02:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he won't be responsible, take all the bills nad place them in your name ....only if you work and ahve a joint account with him, then you pay the bills and take care of everything. Everything thata happens in a marriage comes back on both of you so unless you want some really bad credit you need to take charge because obviously he is not.
2007-07-16 02:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's irresponsible with the money and he's working sit down and discuss what would be better for the family.
What would be better is for him to give you 100% control over the money......and you give him a certain amount that you've agreed on each payday.
If he won't agree to that....I think I would have to consider leaving....and I'm not in favor or divorce, but something you can't fix.
2007-07-16 02:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, this problem seems much deeper and complex than all we have to go on here. I sincerely doubt you get a workable answer to your question on Yahoo! Answers based on what you've presented, but I'll bite anyway.
I am just wondering if he's kind of pawning off not just monetary responsibility to you, but also pawning off the responsibility for ending the marriage. It'd be much easier if you did all the work of splitting for him. Turning his creditors to you seems like such an obvious affront, almost like he's taunting you to divorce him.
2007-07-16 02:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is simply not a responsible man, you don't have to pick his bills if he not grown enough to get married and be responsible then he should go back to his mum, because he sure look like a mummy's boy to me.
2007-07-16 03:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by black&proud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
their must be more than what is being seen, you need to sit down with your husband and open some kind of channel to which you both can communicate with one another, no one just forgets, and you said he has a high IQ so there must be something going on. and these could be tell tell signs of something more serious. so don't put it off, talk today
2007-07-16 02:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by Hellbound 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋