Sure most girls and women see little problems in behavior of their husbands or boyfriends. Of course they don't want to loose their partner but they don't like the bad behavior.
What can they do?
What could help in education men? Refusing the s'x? Other kinky things?
2007-07-16 01:51:38 · 17 answers · asked by Jean H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's stupid if you think that we can help you in this point. Because men are individuals. They are all different. Some perhaps change themselves if they get a gratification. Others change bad behavior only with kicks to the groin. A third group changes if you talk to them reasonablly and shows your thoughts and feelings.
You just have to try many things to see what helps best.
2007-07-18 01:32:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, as a husband and a member of the male species, holding back sex and "other kinky things" most likely will back fire. I'm not sure what "other kinky things" are, everyone will probably have their own ideas on that but if it really is just 'little things' try just talking to them. Also you need to decide how important these issues are to you. Is it something they can control? Or is it more then that. It is hard for someone to say w/o knowing more. Let them know how you feel and why, if its really that important and they aren't willing to talk about it they probably aren't the right person for you. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Try to understand their point of view also and try to find a compromise if they don't want to just "do it your way". A relationship is a two way street. Expect 40% and give 60%. If you can both try to do that, along with never being willing to give up at the same time it can work. I've been married for 15 years (i'm only 30 something) and it has worked for us. :D p.s. sex is not a bargining tool but something to be shared between people who love each other.
2007-07-16 09:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by sphericthor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refusing sex is not a good idea. It's like refusing to give a child dinner for misbehaving, it's only adding pain to an already bad situation. And a man will only go without sex, generally, for so long. Sooner or later he's going to get it elsewhere and that will only further destroy the relationship. The only thing I think helps is talking. Talk talk and more talk. Most men hate to talk, but if they are interested in saving their relationship, they will at least sit and listen while you talk and then consider the options. If your man is a liar, instead of excusing away his lies or dismissing it, call him on it. Every time you catch him in a lie. That will teach him that you will not tolerate being lied to and he will stop. If he's doesn't pick up his clothes, don't you do it either. As much as it will kill you (if you are anything like me) just step over them. Don't clean up and don't wash dishes, etc. Sooner or later he'll either get the picture or start complaining. When he complains then you tell him why things are as they are. The thing is, you are right, if you want a man you have to train him. But knowing HOW to train him is the key. Negativity will only beget negativity. Good luck.
2007-07-16 09:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You refuse sex, and you'll be looking for a new boyfriend. That is never going to be a viable way of getting what you want, but it's a great way to breakup! Talk to him about what is bothering you. It will reflect well on you and your maturity. If he won't listen, then maybe he isn't a good choice for a husband or boyfriend. That said, make sure you are not over-reacting to small things. If you cannot accept someone for who they are, then you're going to be lonely most of your life. Mr. Perfect does not exist.
2007-07-16 08:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you award good behavior? Because if you don't, then you need to start. If you reward for good behavior, then you have every right to punish for bad behavior. They respond better to that. If you just take away, then they don't care. If you give it to them really good, with little outfits, then take away, oh they will mind like the good lil' doggies they are.
2007-07-16 08:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... It's just like training a dog.... Positive re-enforcement. When he does something you like you give him a "treat." When he doesn't, no "treat." This does not mean refusing the intimate moments (for the sole purpose of teaching him a lesson).... unless you would like to damage the relationship.
2007-07-16 09:03:54 · answer #6 · answered by lonnyl_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have bad habits, men hate a lot of ours....particularly the nagging and most of all the using sex to get what we want, bad bad idea ladies. You don't try to change a person you learn (not them) to accept their bad habits and flaws unless they are abusive.
2007-07-16 08:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's only going to change if he wants to change... refusing sex will just make him look elsewhere. Talk to him and explain what he's doing and why you think it's bad- if he has no desire to change his habits, you won't ever be able to change them so either learn to accept them or leave the relationship.
2007-07-16 08:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by Paulo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If anybody thinks they can change ANYBODY then they are in for a rude awakening. How about honestly assessing someone BEFORE you decide to be in a relationship?
2007-07-16 09:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all in choosing someone who doesn't 'have' the bad behaviour in the first place - to choose someone of good character as a boyfriend or husband. There is no 'changing' someone; one can only change herself.
2007-07-16 11:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋