hi...i'm a 20 yr old woman. i had this classmate of mine in school. he was the school heartthrob kind and i was just a plain jane. i was quite happy being myself and style wasn't my cuppa tea. i never had any showdowns with him and didn't even have anything against him but he always bullied and teased me. his words used to be so cruel sometimes that i used to wet a whole pillow crying at home. i always wondered why he did that. i despised him...i really did. then once we met at a party and i got to know that his family and mine knew each other pretty well. well....that didn't make any changes in wat he was already offering me. i've known him for about 10 yrs now. even after school was finished we used to see each other occasionally at parties and stuff...he's even been to our home once with him family. and he's always been so sweet with my elder sister and everyone at my home...i thought he really hated me for being so mean. yesterday he proposed me and...wat do i make of it? shocked..
2007-07-15 21:23:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I certainly wouldn't marry him.
2007-07-15 21:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh...besides the idea that boys bully girls they really like, let's just set that aside. He is MUCH too old to use that as an excuse. It sounds like you have never been comfortable or happy with him. While he obviously like you in some way (since he proposed), he obviously doesn't give a **** what you feel or want. It looks like he only cares about making himself happy by marrying you because he likes you. And he also doesn't seem to even notice how uncomfortable or not happy he makes you.
This lack of care for your feelings or wishes is terrible. There is no excuse, especially not "love", that excuses this. Real love is a friendship and a partnership where both are equal and care about the person they are with.
Make your real feelings clear and don't be blackmailed - by him or your family - otherwise. Relationships are YOUR choice. ONLY.
2007-07-15 21:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by Razorchilde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a 20 yr old "woman"?? You might be 20, but I would forget about this proposal. If you have not been dating this person on a regular basis, like seeing him only, and ever day or week, then forget it. If you can't talk with him about all this, then you need to find some new men friends. Good luck.
2016-05-18 23:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by georgette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes people say things when they are younger because they view themselves as less he bullied u in school i knew a man who did just that to a girl he liked he did it because he was afraid to show how he felt afraid she would turn him down so he bullied her it was like this since they where children but people grow up and mature they change... i dont know the details thats not my place but i knew the 2 people i talked abought very well.... one was my cousin the other was my friend
2007-07-15 21:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by kitsune_kappa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means that he might not be true to you or you know bullying is a form of love.
and yeah don't accept his proposal so soon ,let him wait.
2007-07-15 21:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by nK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋