My husband is not a good listener. what to do ?

Question

My husband is not a good listener .I am a bit emotional & sentimental . whenever i want to share something which hurts me he always has a negligent attitude and wants to get rid to that topic. i feel hurt & lonely and doesn't find in him the person with whom i can share my feelings& my emotions. please help

Answer 1

I am sorry. Are you close to your Mom? Do you have siblings or friends you can confide in? Use that support group primarily. I am sure he doesn't mean to hurt you, it is just his makeup. I would say even consider the idea of seeing a counselor, either just for yourself to have someone to talk to or better yet, for the both of you. Convince him it will be a fun activity you can do together, don't make it seem negative. A counselor should at least be qualified to help him work on his communication skills and help him understand what you want from him.

Answer 2

The two of you need to sit down and have a long talk about what the two of you are feeling. If he is hurting you by not leasing to what you feel, you will tell it so someone else and that is how things get started. Not to push things in a negative way, but if he wont listen someone else will, and you may get close to that other person and not pay any attention to you husband. And then he will think somethings going on. I have seen this happen and I have one a twice been that ear to listen. When you see and hear the things that there love on should be hearing, you would be amazed at how a lot of things could have been per vented. Twice a month the two of you need to sit down in a confer table place a talk everything out. Write it down so you wont forget but get it out the so you no that is up with each other. Just a thought.

Answer 3

That's not something you can change in a person. He may think you talk too much about things that in his opinion aren't really important. Most guys don't want to sit and listen to a woman discuss their feeling about every little thing. Did you not notice this when you dated? I'm very sentimental and emotional as well, but it is possible to change the way you communicate to him that will make him feel like your not drowning him with emotional awareness. Maybe you're nagging him and you don't realise it. Or he's just not the emotional type and doesn't know how to continue the conversation ,so he brushes you off. Just try to disscuss things in different ways.

Answer 4

In general, guys are bad at this. A girl is very lucky if she finds a man who isn't like this, usually the men who are into meditation and spirituality, etc.

Try telling him how you feel. Use your head though. You know when he's in a more receptive mood.

Has he always been like this? If not, try and see how maybe you have hurt him and he has been harboring resentment. Maybe you can get him to open up. Maybe therapy can help mediate.

Sometimes reality of life make us take others for granted. Sometimes we need to be reminded nicely...and if that doesn't work, sometimes tough love. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it walks out for awhile.

But seriously, people are our reflections, what in you are you not listening to? Have you been trying to find communion with our Creator in daily meditation and nurturing the body and mind he gave you?

Life is funny like that.

Lastly, you may have grown apart. If you can't accept him and he doess't change and it becomes too much, think about finding someone better...but this is a last straw after really working on the above.

Answer 5

I think most husbands are normal listeners. Not good or bad. I think most husbands listen and hear better than their wives. I am so sick of saying something and having my wife answer what she wants to tell me and not what I asked. I notice this a lot when other couples talk too. I listen properly when the conversation is serious or we have sat down to talk. But I cannot stand having to filter out the important bits from a too wordy, repetitive, with irrelevant or erroneous issues muddling up the real topic. If someting is too wordy I tend to zone out and my attention span can be limited. Tell me straight forward what you want and I will know and do. Mix it up and fuddle the issue and I cannot win. Men are not mind readers. If I ask my wife what is wrong and she says "nothing" my standard response now is "fine" and I walk away... Only to find out hours or days later what the issue is. I think men are very apt at reading their partners body language, and often this differs to what the spoken message is which upsets us. All I ask is to be honest - if something is wrong then tell me and I will listen attentitively... If I have done somethign right - tell me and I will smile for the rest of the day. Hug me and I will lidten to you forever.

Answer 6

Well most men don't listen. You need to tell him that it bothers you that he doesn't listen to you when you need him to. That is if he will listen long enough. Maybe he feels that you are always emotional and gets tired of it. Or maybe he just doesn't know how to handle conversations like that because he isn't emotional and doesn't understand and instead of saying something that would hurt you more he just chooses not to talk about it.

Answer 7

Many men are brought up to "fix" things. Sometimes, they find it difficult to deal with our emotions because it is something they cannot "fix" with a turn of the wrench.
Tell him that you don't expect him to "fix" what you would like to talk about, but just that you need a few minutes of his time to vent about something without him feeling the need to care care of the problem. If he knows that if he would just listen, that's all the "fixing" he needs to do (and a strong pair of arms to hold you)

www.penelopes-hotspot.com

Answer 8

husband good listener

Answer 9

Thats the problem with that kinda people, I think you can find some one close in your family members other than your husband, so that you can at least share your feelings.

Answer 10

Try this to him to get him to pay more attention to you " tease him like ur gonna give him a sweet sexy kiss, but doesn’t kiss him and pulls away each time he try to kiss u. Then gets close to him and tells me to start jacking off for u and to look at her ur lips while hes jacking off, and not take his eyes off ur lips at all. After a little bit of jacking off and focusing on ur lips, he starts to get very horny and starts trying to kiss u again, but u pull away each time. Within seconds of trying to kiss u and u not letting him, hes starting to wanna kiss u bad and starting to realize what he has now and will start listening to you more atleast for alittle bit after u did that to him "