I need help with deciding to leave my husband to go with a new man.?

Question

I was not looking for anyone and BANG the magnet of attraction hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been married 20yrs and have 2 sons (14 and 18). I have had a pretty high libido for most of my marriage. Although my husband and I have had a healthy sex life,he seems to be losing his interest in sex over the past few years. He makes excuses that he's tired or early morning rise or "i don't want to mess your new expensive hairdo". I even waxed everything for him and bought a silky sexy nightgown and he said oh that's nice now hurry up and let's get some shut eye Well this man i have been driving to church on Sundays is kind, polite, actually listens to what i have to say. I never in a million years would've thought that I would entertain the idea of being sexually draw to another man I love my husband but I have never felt the tingling through my body as when i see him. Wks have gone by and he is saying he loves me and will take care of me.Do i leavemy family to be happy again or endit

Answer 1

I think 2 years of marriage is too much for you to lose to take up with a man you don't even know for very long. How do you know if you'll still have this attraction 1 year from now? You're feeling this way because you're not getting the sexual attention fro your husband so when this guy came alone, he awakened all the sexual urges you've been burying. So this guy kinda helped shine light on your problems with your husband. Instead of leaving your ffamily, you should take this as a chance to openly talk to your husband about how you feel, how you feel sexually neglected and unwanted, and perhaps try counseling. Leaving your family should be the last option for you and the last thing on your mind. You should try to save your marriage because you have too much at stake here.

Answer 2

Good God...can I identify with you...and I am a male!
I am in a simialar situation, except this started nearly 10 years ago. My wife who is a stunning knockout, is simply not interested in sex. I have always been a romantic, I send her flowers,chocolate, bring her rare perfume when I travel...all of which she appreciates, but our relationship has no "spark". Iam not a dog, women refer to me as "handsome", and I am a professional.

It is not an instance of her being tired, yes she has a professional demanding job, but at home, I do all the cooking, most of the cleaning, groceries, pay the bills and all the chores to keep up the home.

She tells me she loves me, and there is definately no one else.....I checked that out! just that sex is not something that stirs her...meanwhile I am a boiling cauldron ready to explode!

When we do have sex...meaby once a month, I have to always initiate....and then do all the work! Now I am at the point where I don;t even want to bother anymore....I simply feel cheated. No children like you which is definately a complexity...but yet I still feel bad about leaving, but at the sametime cannot imagine enduring more years of this....I am in my early 40s now, and I am beginning to feel so cheated that my sexuality is being wasted.

I know she loves me, but at the same time, I am becoming very resentful.

Answer 3

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/CjR6l

Answer 4

Is sex your happiness, church girl? What church do you go to? Seriously, you get excited, that is O.K. BUT you will not, I'll say it again, you WILL NOT be happy. You will lose your close knit circle of friends, the respect of you kids or how do you plan to tell them you left their father because mama wanted... you fill in the blank? Make any excuse you want, they aren't worth anything to any sane person. By the way, if all I had to do was listen for a piece, that would be a bargain. That "friend" of yours is no friend. Words are easy, it's the long haul in a marriage that gives family meaning, honor, and makes you worth fighting for. Do what you want.

Answer 5

In all honesty it sounds like your husband has been working his butt off at work trying to support you. Don't leave your husband. You need to get some sort of counseling and try to work it out with your husband.Marriage is about communication between the both of you, ya'll should be open to one another. If this guy you like is a Christian man then he would know that if you were to divorce your husband and had an affair with him. You would not be able to get married in the eyes of god but your husband could be he did not put you aside. Read in the New Testemant, in the book of Mathew, Jesus states that.

You also might try getting your husband some Viagra

Answer 6

Sex is important in a healthy relationship but have you even tried to do anything about it, seriously talking to him about how you feel, counseling, a doctor perhaps for your husband. That's part of the reason divorce is so high in the US, people often don't even try to work through there problems. Be a little more sensitive to what could be going on with your husband. If you're not even going to try and figure it out he's better off with out you.

Answer 7

Holy crap, this is a biggun! Take your time is all I have to say. Make sure the marriage is worth saving and don't just think about the sex, think about the other issues at stake. Do you love your husband or are you just in lust with your new friend? Remember, almost all couples get this "itch" and you and your husband must determine if your marriage can be saved. I'd get counselling before I would do anything rash.

Answer 8

NEVER LEAVE YOUR FAMILY FOR A MAN! if you honestly love your husband then going off with another man shouldnt be a question! But if you do start having strong feelings for this other man and you know for sure this is what you want leave your husband tell him the reasons but dont leave ur kids make sure your there for remember you still have a young one before you think about it try talking to your husband let him know how you feel!

Answer 9

If you love this man then do what you need to do to make your self happy. But you have to think of your children too. You have to make sure that it wont damage them because my parents split and i was the only one that had a problem with it. Once i found out that the guy she was with made her happy then i accepted it. I think your children would be old enough to accept the fact that after a while things DO change. I think you may want to tell your husband. If he gets upset about it then just tell him your not giving me what i need or want anymore. So Im leaving you for another man. Anywho, good luck and ummm yeah.

Answer 10

You have answered yourself. Your libido is higher but then it is not the entire life. After 20 years and two young sons you owe your family a responsiblity. his is the time your sons need you most, lest they go estray.
Regards your husbands low libido, in these mordern times you look for help/guidance from the medical faternity.

God will be kind do not get distracted.